Single Mom? Not really.

Being a single mom was to be the topic of this article; a friend has asked me to write about my experience as a single parent and already I am stumped.  God has already been reminding me of a truth and it is my belief that He wants others to know it too. In particular, single parents.  To give some back drop to my story I will start at the beginning.   I had my son at twenty years old, over seventeen years ago. While I leave you to do the math on my current age, I will continue to say that I had a very romanticized view of my relationship with his dad.  Never did I see the day when I would be the stereotypical single mom – or the hated term “Baby Mother”. I cringe even now just to see those words joined together as the reminder of its meaning offends me greatly.

 I took my son everywhere with me.  That was partly because I didn’t want to burden others with what I considered to be my responsibility solely.  I worked jobs that I would have passed up had I not had another mouth that was literally dependent on me to fill it.  I gave up my youthful college days of care free lounging, having to run from classes to the part time job I was blessed to have obtained. I became mother and father for a long while, as I strived to do it all on my own. 

By the time my son turned 13, God got through to me.  He told me that He was the father that my son needed.  As a single mom I felt weighed down by guilt, blaming the lack of a Father for my son on myself.  I battled pride, not willing to accept help easily from those around me.  Yet,  I felt overwhelmed by the challenges that I knew were still ahead of me. I was unable even then to answer his questions as I could not relate to him as a man could, and I really didn’t know anything about being a boy.  But God knew.  He was telling me that I didn’t have to go it alone as He was more than capable to fill the gap and more in my son’s life.  He wanted me to know that He was not blindsided but these circumstances will be used to accomplish His will.

God wants you to know single parent, that He is more than willing to be the co-parent with you.  He is willing to give you wisdom generously without reproach.  He says He is mother and father to those without.  God is your partner in the raising of your children and you don’t have to be single in this mission.  You can be coupled to the God of the heaven and earth, whose eyes can see beyond today.  So be encouraged single parent, God is with you.

Worthy of Love

I am so worth it

You are so worth it

Worth what? You ask of me

Worthy of love!

 

Oh no, it’s not what you think

It’s not the any kind of love

That comes and goes like the tide

It’s not the kind from just anyone who

Happens to come by your side

It is the love that never tires

Never fades and never goes away

This love goes beyond any you have ever felt

Goes above what you think or thought you had

It is not the kind that’s found

In the arms of a man

It is not the kind that rolls off the lips

That teases the senses and leaves you empty

No, it is not the way the world

Has said it is, should or will be

 But it is the John 3:16 love

That even now grows better every day

Growing stronger with each passing year

For God so loved the world that He gave

To you and me, His son

That we may live and not die

Having the promise of everlasting life!

You are Beautiful and Spirit Filled

“You are Beautiful and Spirit Filled – you don’t need more than that”. 

These are the words my friend wrote to me today. I asked her to give me some of what she had to make men notice her and ask her out on dates. See, she had just received an invitation for a date by a 70y/o man and I was joking with her that she has them coming from all ages.  JHow cute.

Her response to me really touched me deeper than she realized that it would have, I imagine.  I know that God inspired her to say such a thing and it was like a balm to my soul.  It once again settled within me that uncertainty about my image and reinforced what I already know. I was made beautiful.

I was having one of those dreams where I manipulated all the players to do exactly as I wanted. You know the ones where your eyes are closed but you are wide awake? This happened just this morning so the details are still fresh.  I was to be married to a gorgeous Jesus Loving man of integrity and valor (even though I still couldn’t quite tell you what he looked like, but in my mind he was gorgeous to me).  And even in this wide awake dream I had a problem – my body. I was afraid that he would be turned off when he really got a chance to see me unclothed.  Now try as I might, I could not get myself to think about it any other way. I saw myself in counseling with my Pastor and even saw or sensed the hurt in my husband for thinking him so shallow.  So much for me controlling the script. 

So I spent very little time looking in the mirror as I got ready for work, having worked up myself to believing the lie that I had allowed to play out behind closed eyelids.  But isn’t it just like my Father to correct this right away?  You are beautiful and spirit filled.  Even as I say them to myself I can already feel the smile tugging at my lips. What was I thinking?  I’m shaking my head right now because in just a split moment I was heading towards my past.  That was the old way of thinking. Christ has made me new. Thank God for the words that healed my soul and made me whole!

It's Not About Me afterall...

Trusting Jesus is all that really matters, and my life will never be the same.  These words have popped into my head as I opened up to write.  You know I am so very grateful to God for who He is.  He remains faithful throughout all things. He is consistent and a friend like no other. I boast in Him, for He is my champion.  In the day of evil He is my hiding place. In the storms of life, He is my calm.  God is a good God.  Why am I saying all of this? I have had a rather interesting weekend.  People have criticized me for being too “radical” for Christ.  That was not the exact word they used to describe me, but I won’t repeat what they said.  I was feeling a bit deflated but since then I have gained new perspectives. God is not surprised by my conversation.  He is not unaware of those that are against me.   His very own son was spoken about. People rejected Him.  So I am in good company. When others reject and despise me for the sake of Christ then I give glory.  Yes Lord.  I know who I am in your son and I will not compromise my stand in Him.  I am in Christ, so those that are against me, are against you also.  It really isn’t about me.  It is about You.  It is about their relationship with you. It is about how You make them feel.  I laugh out loud (LOL).  Here I was ready to make it about me.  But now it is clearer to me than when I just began writing.  You are who they have a problem with – not me.  You sent word to me, the battle is not mine, it’s all yours. 

God, is there anything too hard for you?  Nothing is too hard for the creator of Heaven and Earth. You sing over me songs of deliverance.  I go forward for you are on my side. I know the word says If God is for me, who can be against me?  No-one.  God is my champion in the land of Giants.  I go forth with no fear. I go forth with the knowledge of God and who I am in Him.

Thank you for bearing with me as I worked through all of this.  I hope in my doing this I have allowed you to see Him, the one who is your present help in time of trouble.  The one who holds you close to his heart, and who hears you when you cry out.