I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

Last night I went with my almost two year old grand niece to see my grand-mother. She had been in the hospital's ER the night before with chest pains.  So I thought I would go bring some cheer that comes through a baby. Kiara did her job. She hugged, kissed and even gave jokes. Yes. She did. It was hilarious to my grand-mother as she pointed to a picture of a pig-nosed girl with wild black hair and said "Ando!"  What? "That is not me Ki." I told her. She replied, "Ando!"  and pointed at the picture for emphasis.  Yes, quite hilarious.

While that was fun for all of us, that is not what this is about today. While I was making noodles (which she calls rice) for her dinner, God gave me a song. In the middle of the mundane, God showed up.  He penned by his spirit a song of encouragement to me.  It was a simple song for hard times.  It was as follows:

I will uphold you
I will uphold you
I will uphold you
With my righteous
Right Hand

All you have to do is
Just Believe
Just Believe
Just Believe

For I will uphold you
With my righteous
Right Hand
(by Yolando Robinson)

I sang those words with everything in me.  I sang myself from being weary to strong and encouraged. My spirit got happy and my eyes were once again focused - on the Master of my soul.  God the Heavenly Father, Jesus the Christ, and the Spirit of God the Holy One.  All three in One.

When I went home following that praise experience, I got a call. My 20 year old nephew, who was just recently diagnosed with a form of cancer, went into the doctor and started, to his surprise, the chemotherapy treatment. He has been trying to have a good attitude but he was overwhelmed and broke down.  Maybe this is you right now.  Maybe you can relate to being overwhelmed.

I know that this is not an isolated case. Many people have similar issues. Many people are trying so hard to make it through some very difficult challenges. Many people are in this season of their life where it is just plain hard.

However, I bring a message of hope.  It is the same words that came to me this morning as I prayed, make that cried out, to God for all these people in my circle of life.  "I will uphold you with my righteous right hand".  God says that because He is able to hold you up.  He is able to bear your weight and burden. He is able to carry you when you have no more strength.  Another cousin said to me yesterday, "I am standing up only because of God".  God is able to keep you upright when life presses down upon you.

God is ever faithful and true. If he says he will do it, you can believe Him.  He will do it. So beloved, God says to you "I will uphold you with my righteous right hand".

Look again and see God

My sister friend is hurting. 

My sister friend is angry.

My sister friend is frustrated.

My sister friend is afraid.

My sister friend is worrisome.

My sister friend is in need of help.

 

She called me on Sunday and beneath the “chipper” hello I heard all those things above.  I heard them but waited until the real reason for her call to surface.  Chit chat. Chit chat.  Then she told me about another friend of ours who recently had a baby.  Her baby was healthy. No “defects”.  No hospitalization. No surgeries pending.  My friend revealed at that moment how very cheated she felt. Why did this happen to me?  Why me and not her?  Why did that one out of five babies have to be my son?  Her son was born with an imperforate anus, tethered spinal cord and a really good attitude.  He is so sweet.  Yet, his mom was unable to handle all that was coming to him.

 

At the time, I really had no answers for her questions. They were tough and to be honest, they still are questions that I have no definite responses for.  She feels alone in all of this and feels like life is unfair.  She feels God made a mistake in choosing her family to go through all of this.

 

There is no doubt that challenges are tough. You may be feeling the same way in whatever it is you are now facing.  A messed up marriage, wayward kids, health issues, financial strain, and the list goes on and on.  So what should you do?

 

Here was my response to her and now to you:

 

“You wonder why you have to go through this, but I urge you to soften your heart for I believe that you will never be the same. There will be in you an understanding and compassion for others who are also going through difficulties. You will be able to speak out of your own experiences and offer answers that doctors and nurses don’t know. You can tell others what is not written in a text book.   Even as you go through this, you will be able to say that God kept you in your right mind even when you thought for sure that you would have lost your mind.  You will be able to say, that even through tears you still stood.  This has not crushed you and it will not.  You will come from the rubble of what is now your life and walk away to a better tomorrow. 

 

God's grace will mean something new to you when this is all done. 

 

I pray for you my sister.  I pray God will strengthen you. I pray that when you see no one around to help you that you will look again and see Him. It is a constant fight to keep him in focus when daily cares - be it money health, food or clothing come to choke the life out of us and shift our eyes from him. But look again, you are not alone.”

 

You are not alone. 

 

You are not alone.

 

You are not alone. 

 

I am not immune to trials. I am not saying any of these things from a position above it. I am in the thick of my own trials. I am being pressed on every side – just like you. So, I can say to you, my friends, be encouraged.  God is right there with you. He has not left and you are not forgotten. Lift up your eyes and see His hand even now.  His grace is sufficient to help you through these trials. Look again my friend, he is with you.

 

He is with you

Today I got mad.

Today I got mad at God.

I have had a front row seat to my sister’s journey with chronic back pain from dislocated/bulging discs.  I don’t remember ever buying a ticket, but I get to see her struggle to live her life with this health condition that seems intent on staying bad.  I have watched her go from strong to weak, from mobile to immobile, from better to worse.  All the while, I have had to say things like, it will be better. This will soon come to an end.  You are going to be fine.  All things are well.  The script goes on and on.  I have had to watch her cry because she is just tired of this new “normal”.  Hope grows faint and even for the best of us, faith really gets low. 

I have counted out the days, that turned into weeks and then months and then years.  I thought to myself, we are nearing the end of 3 years.  My niece turns 2 and for all of those years she has never known her Auntie to be any different than this new normal.  She knows, somehow, that Kal is different from everyone else.  To her, Kal stays mostly in the basement surrounded by walkers, crutches, wheel chair and a remote control bed.  She knows that if she needs to be picked up, that she doesn't raise her arms to Auntie Kal.  She knows that she has to wait for Kal to climb up the stairs and sit out of the way until she has cleared the last step.  This is normal.  So I have watched Kal cry as bits and pieces of her life have been taken away – independence, privacy, and things that seem so small but amount to so much when it is no longer there, like lifting up a baby on your own.

So today I got mad.  I didn’t know that this was how I was feeling.  I mean, I have been saying all the things that one is expected to say for so long that the hypocrisy of it was lost to me. Until today.  I saw her crying and I went in my car and began praying. A verse had come to mind, “If my people who are called by my name humble themselves and pray, then I will hear from heaven and forgive sins and heal their land.”  I said it over and over and then I acted upon it. I prayed for her healing, for grace to walk through this.  As emotions took over my prayer, I said to God “Why have you not done this?  I know you can do this, why won’t you?”  It was then the damn of tears broke. 

I felt sure I had overstepped my place.  I mean this was my Heavenly Father.  My tone was definitely not acceptable to my own ears.  I felt deeply convicted, but more than anything, I felt totally loved.  I dared to speak again, and he whispered Believe.  I said we are so tired. So he said “Come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest.”  I said I am sorry. He said “don’t hide your truth from me, I seek those that will worship me in spirit and in truth.”  I said I really want you right now and I felt like his arms wrapped around me, so I could lean into his “spiritual hug” that I cannot explain but that I just know it was. 

I cried some more, but because I was caught up in His presence. He heard me. He heard me when I felt I was being disrespectful. He loved me when I thought I was not deserving of his compassion at that time.  He encouraged me when I was discouraged. He offered me strength when I felt absolutely weakened.  I had to know that he never left us.  Even now, I am agreeing to His truth, that he has been walking with us through this experience.  He has not abandoned us, nor will he ever, but walks closely.

There is an end to this matter.  He reminded me of the many things before that had attacked my sister’s health and mind that also came to an end – never again to be revived. The IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome), the shaking for no reason and apparent mental disconnect, the “can’t be touched” as a child, the screaming when awaken and the list continues.  They all came to an end.  I am not going to wait to see the end, I am rejoicing right now.

I am writing this because I believe that someone needs to know that Jesus is with them through their very difficult situation.  I know, you don’t feel like he is, but the truth is that he is.  Don’t despair, you have not been forgotten or forsaken, he is with you.

 

 

 

Fear makes you do silly things

It's 11pm at night and I just went to get my son from the mall.  He and his friend just finished working out/training and called me.  I was poised with a good piece of fried chicken in my hand, and my devotional in the other when the call came in from him.  I deliberated for a few minutes whether or not I should go, but of course the thoughts that came to me were more persuasive than the arguments my son presented.  Fear makes you do silly things.


On the drive home, my son told me that a friend of his called our home recently.  My mom answered the phone and according to him, she told this "friend" that she does not want him speaking to or hanging out with my son.  My son, went over to the house of his friend, and was told of the conversation that preceded his visit.  He said the young man asked him "why would she do that?"  He was hurt.  My son, explained that because of what had happened in the past, it made her more wary.  Fear makes you do mean things.


In my prayer time today, I just said to my prayer partner, "I am going to trust God, even though the things I prayed for last year have yet to be revealed in the present. I will rejoice in the Lord.  Habakkuk 3:17-18 "Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vine; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the Lord!" I know for me, it is easier to trust when I don't see wrong; what eyes don't see, heart doesn't leap.  It is easier to rejoice when things are great.  It's easier to have Faith when I see the signs of promises being fulfilled.  It is easier to be fearless when I know I am not doing this alone.  Fear makes you walk alone.


Fear, makes you leave your house to go on the road after you have turned in for the night. Fear makes you say things that crush others even when you know that Christ calls us to be his witnesses of love.  Fear makes you close your mouth when really praise is what is needed for God inhabits the praises of His people.  Fear makes you do silly things.


Enough.  Beloved, let us get beyond this and step into faith.  Without faith, it is impossible to please God.  Isn't it time to lift our faces to him so we can be radiant?  God did not give us that spirit of fear.  He gave us power. He gave us love.  He gave us a sound mind.  Faith, makes us walk on water, speak to mountains, crush our enemy, soar like an eagle and speak those things which are not as though they were.  So, I say to you beloved, Yet will I trust Him! 

One thing remains

I just had a very interesting conversation with my cousin and his fiancé. We spoke about life. Life is not always a smooth path or calm waters.  Life is sometimes hard and cold.  Sometimes we find ourselves challenged and hurt and facing extreme difficulties.  Life is not always perfect. We spoke about hypothetical scenarios and what we think we would do if each one occurred.  What would you do if your spouse gained weight, lost a limb, got sick or something else?  We laughed and joked but the topic was serious. 


I told him that in marriage there is no "out" clause.  I spoke of my friend whose wife had ALS and yet he looked at her with such passion and love I felt like an intruder to an intimate moment in their marriage.  I spoke about another friend whose wife had cancer and even one year past her death, his love for her remains strong. These men didn't trade their spouses in for someone better, they loved them through the best and worst, the easy and the hard times.  They stayed together, upholding the vows said before God and man on their wedding day. 


It reminds me of another love; a perfect love that covers all sins.  God's love for us.  He doesn't promise us days without trials, but he does promise never to leave us. When everything fades or leaves, his love remains.  I echo the song writer " Your love never fails, it never gives up, never runs out on you...."