It's Not About You

It’s Not About You. 

These were the words of truth echoing through my mind earlier this week as I prayed.  My past came to the present, equipped with passport and bags, he came to see his son.  In case, you are lost let me re-track.  My son’s dad came to see him.  It had been umpteen years since he came to Canada to see over the 21 years of my son’s life. Actually to be precise he visited him twice.  It was a trip that was well over due.

I found out quite by accident of this trip.  I had asked my prayer team to pray that he would visit.  I felt like it was needed for both of them and I wanted nothing to stand in the way.  So we prayed.  I heard nothing from him.  I happened to inquire of my son, “did you hear from your Dad?”  “Yes.” He responded.  “Do you know if he’s coming?” “Yes.” Was his singular response yet again.  With nothing else coming forth, I took it upon myself to go directly only to discover he will be in town the very next day.  No time. Nothing else added. Like father like son, the vault of information was closed to me. They knew and had made plans. I was excluded and unaware.

 

By now, if you are anything like me, your ire would be raised. You would be saying something like “You mean to say, they couldn’t tell you anything?”  That is exactly what I said.  So I took to the altar in prayer or complaining which ever one God calls it.  He said to me, clear as the day outside, “It is NOT about you”.  He says you don’t need to be offended, because this is not about you.  God had a plan that was in place and at the center of it were two men who were broken and in need of healing.  They needed this time together more than they even knew. This was a time to pour God’s balm into old wounds that did not heal but was only covered and hidden.  It was a time to restore and repair broken bonds between a father and a son.  It was time to throw out guilt and shame; a time to love on each other and be there for one another.  For three days they ate together, shared a room, talked, drove and “hung out” with each other. No-one else was included in the majority.  God gave them a gift these last few days – he gave to each man the g of each other. 

 

It was not about me.  I took my offense and washed it away with forgiveness.  I walked away from that time with God feeling chastened and yet freed.  God was answering my prayer and he didn’t need my help to do it.  I never saw my son’s Dad at all throughout his stay here, and guess what, it was okay.  I was happy and filled with gratefulness that this was even happening. 

Friends sometimes it really has nothing to do with you.  Allow God to do what He does and leave it all to Him.

 

Sin is at the door

I have been going through the book of Genesis. My journey into it is really just at the beginning.  So it is interesting to note that sin was from the beginning.  In case you had forgotten, it was in the very garden of Eden that Eve desired the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh and the pride of life.  From that moment, sin caused shame, fear, blame and the disconnect between man and God. 

Sin, destroys while deceiving us as the serpent did to Eve.  Sin, allows you to think that you are in control.  It gets you to believe that you will win.  Sin crouches at the door and it seeks to devour you and I, but you must master it. 

Eve fell prey.  Cain, her son, fell prey. Murder. Lies.  Guilt. Shame.  Sin grew to full contamination of the entire population of the world. Men boasted of how they would kill anyone who crossed them.  They saw themselves as equal with God.  In their hearts they believed they were God.  It caused our creator to regret making mankind.  In the days of Noah, God had his limit.  He wiped out everyone except the only righteous man left. Noah and his family.

Today we have been given grace.  We are under the covenant that God made with man.  He says never again will he erase us by flood.  Yet, do not be lulled into thinking that you can do as you wish. Do not be deceived thinking that God has gone "soft".   God said to Cain, you must master it, instead he allowed it to cause him to kill Able.  Friends, sin is at the door, do not let it get the upper hand.  Do not invite it in. Do not be deceived.  Do not be mastered by sin.

Im not worthy

On September 14th, I celebrated my birthday.  I turned 41 years old and for me it was an experience.  My family had planned a "surprise" dinner to celebrate the event. I thought as we gathered together, I am not worthy.  On the day of, I went to work and received beautiful yellow roses from one colleague, a huge cup-cake from another and the entire upper management singing at my office door, Happy Birthday to You.  I was moved to tears by then because in my mind I said I am not worthy.

That's how most of us feel when we are called by God.  Jesus, the bridegroom, has sent out to us an invitation to the feast prepared by His father.  The oxen and fattened cattle has been prepared, the table set and all is ready.  He calls us all, the good and the bad to this feast.  Yet, we turn away.  We seek instead the things that pleases our flesh.  We fill up on the feast of the world, junk food and empty calories.  We disqualify ourselves because all along we have felt that we were not worthy. 

Today, I say to you that you are called. You decide whether or not you choose to accept his invitation.  The lies by the enemy have been exposed and you are worthy, you do qualify.  So choose today, will you come and taste the goodness of God?  Will you attend dressed in the wedding garments he has prepared?  Many are called but only a few are chosen.  Beloved, you are worthy.  Jesus qualifies you.  Say yes and He will do the rest.  All is ready.  The work is done.  Come to the wedding feast, come celebrate and rejoice.  (Matthew 22:1-14)

God is Watching Over

This week I have been soaking in messages all geared to the theme of God is Watching.  It has been so good to realize that I am not alone in my walk on this earth.  I think of the many times I have felt alone and how far from the truth that has been.  God's eyes has always been upon me. I know, that for you, it might not be all comforting. You may feel that it is kind of creepy being in a glass bowl, being watched all the time.  Yet, it is not the same as a fish being observed from the outside of the tank. 

It is not like the movies that shows the gods, Zeus and all his co-gods, being high above in some celestial palace, drinking wine and eating chocolates, while we fumble around in our humanity below.  No. God watches over His children.  He waits  to bring us comfort and provision.  He leads us along the still waters, and causes us to lie in green pastures.  His righteous right hand upholds us.  He watches over us in readiness to perform His word in our lives.  He watches to make our crooked paths straight.  God is watching.

Let that be a comfort to you my friends as you navigate these moments we call life.  Let that stir hope and peace in your heart. Let it be you resting place and key to liberty.  God is watching.

Even now, his angels are encamped about you and me as Paul writes in Hebrews 13.  I breathe deeply as I am relieved to know over is truth.  He is watching over our kids and all that concerns you.   He has never left nor forsaken you. He neither slumbers or sleeps.  Rest my friends for God is watching over you.

Let Him Go

Understand that right now I am writing this down as a way to process things that I don't understand.  I am a Mom. Over the last 20 plus years I have more questions than answers. I have felt inadequate more times than I care to think about. I have made thousands of mistakes and some have been far reaching into my today. I would love to say that I am an expert at this but for me the challenges are even more intense and I am at a loss as to how to overcome.  I did say that I am writing this as a way to process and so I hope you understand.  I just need God to show me how to swim in these deep waters. I can't swim in life much less this metaphoric illustration.  I'm not sure what to do and for the most part I wish I could back to the yesterday of day one with my son. I would have done some things different and some things I would have kept the same.
I have had this conversation before and God's answer has been the same. Let him go.
This post is the evidence that I am not being obedient. I am struggling to do this but the cost is tears and more heart ache. Let him go.
This without doubt is the answer that brings the peace that I so desperately desire right now.
LET HIM GO.

Lord, hear my cry.  Oh Lord show me the way that leads not to destruction but to Life. Open my eyes God to your truth. Lord show me how to let him go.  You are his safety net and I need to move out of the way of your purpose in this process.

If you can, will you pray for me as I pray for you too.

Without Vision We Perish

If I asked you right now to describe your vision, what would you say?  Would you blurt out your heart or would you pause wondering yourself what it is?  This morning in church I was of the latter response group. I stumbled in my mind over the word vision. It became even more difficult when the Pastor said vision has been translated as a word from God, a prophetic word, a revelation. I had nothing that immediately came to mind. It worked me some because I know that without vision I would go astray. I know some might say I am being dramatic. Yet it is not that at all. This word caused me to examine myself and where I am heading in life. What am I looking ahead  to and how dies my life fit into God's purpose for me?  Think about it for a minute. Every successful company has a vision.  I just want mine to be what God has given to me. By the end of the sermon God reminded me of a picture I saw in my mind's eyes of myself. I was spinning around in a field with a bag of seeds in my hand. I threw them around me and I seemed to be so happy. It was like it was someone else but yet it was me. I was like a young girl again and for a moment I wondered if maybe it was my daughter. No matter I knew then that God gives us the vision. He is the One that has called us and He is the One that will bring about His purpose. So here I am in my Sunday best having a tea and talking to God on the McCafe patio. I'm saying to Him I don't understand it at all but I am willing to do it all. Friends let's ask God for that vision and then release it to Him.

Intimacy with God

Into Me See.  Intimacy has been described as such and I believe that even for today it is fitting.  The bible tells us that God knows us. He is intimate with us. I looked at different definitions of this word so I can grasp what it means to say God is Intimate with us. One person defines it as being in each other's mind.  Another says it means close, loyal, faithful.  Yes, God is intimate with us.  He knows our thoughts.  He is faithful. He is close.  He is loyal. He is intimate. 

God sees into us.  He sees the core, like the inside of an apple.  He sees the good and the bad.  David marvelled at this saying, it is too much for him to even comprehend it all.

My friends, while God is initmate with us, I wonder if we in turn are intimate with Him.  You see, and I have heard it said before, initmacy is a two way interaction.  He has already made the first step.  From before time began His heart was for us.  Now I believe that he stretches his hands to us and says, won't you come? My eyes tear up as I can imagine Him saying "Talk to me. Just talk to me". (Yolanda Adams). No more hiding my friends. No more running away.  It is time to draw near to Him.  It is time to enhance; discover; seek out intimacy with God.

If you dont know where to start or even what to say, how about repeating the Psalmist.  It is a good place to begin the journey of intimacy with God:

Psalm 139 NIV (Biblegateway.com)

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.

¹ You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
² You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
⁵ You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts,^[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.

¹⁹ If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
²⁰ They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
²¹ Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord,
and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
²² I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
²³ Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.