A Woman Scorned

I have heard it said maybe once or twice that there is nothing worse than a woman scorned.  She is not the woman to tangle with and woe to the one that has caused this shame.  Her heart is bruised and she does all that she can to inflict this same pain unto others.  She is beyond reason and out of control (as my brother always says).  She is desperate to prove herself right and to be somehow absolved in the process she takes. She takes revenge into her own hands.  She will not stop until her idea of justice has been dished up and served.

I have a front row seat to this woman.  She is not me, (although without Christ she was), but this young girl I have only ever met twice.  She is the ex-girlfriend but doesn't want to be.  I see her struggling in her new role. I see her trying to reconcile the betrayal that has been apart of her journey.  I see her ranting and raving.  I see her as the woman scorned.

As I think of her, I cannot help but feel sympathy.  My heart is tender towards her because I know how she feels.  My son thinks I need to be examined and thinks my loyalty is misplaced.  Yet he doesn't understand how it feels to be that woman.  He doesn't get why we cant just move past the pain and get on with life as if nothing happened.  Do you understand?

I know that almost everyone has had their heart broken by someone.  We cant love and not feel the pain that comes from relationships with imperfect people.  Just as I prayed for the young woman above I pray for you. May God pour his balm into that open wound that is open and oozing.  May you feel yourself enveloped by His arms. May you know today His unfailing love.  May you walk in forgiveness, for to do anything but is like trying to kill someone else by drinking the poison yourself.

My friend, I don't know your story but I know God.  He says vengeance is mine and I will repay.  He is more than able to help you through this period of pain and hurt.  He is able to step into the yesterday you have not quite let go and heal the past, so your future is secure.

There is a song that I wrote and it simply echoes this truth,
"God you're able to pull me through. 
And You know there's nothing I can do. 
Cause your the God of the  Impossible. 
And I trust YOU!"

Oh Woman scorned, God loves you.

The Journey

The journey.  When I heard these words I immediately asked of myself three questions. Where does it start?  Where does it end?  How do I get there?  In my mind I marinated these questions as it relates to my journey.  My life is a summation of days and months and years.  Through my physical eyes I see just what is before me. Yet, I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more. 

In the beginning God created…the verse from Genesis 1:1 formed itself in my mind and exploded this truth.  My journey and yours begins and ends with God.  The God of Genesis is the same God of Revelation who says I am coming again.  He frames our days like bookends on a shelf.  It is hard to understand but to deny it would be foolish.  God is and was and is to come and he is the author of not just our faith but our journey. 

I have learnt that my steps have been ordered by Him.  Every single one is not without His knowing.  He has in fact known me before the foundations of the world.  Jeremiah reads that before he was formed in his mother’s womb God knew him.  The journey had already began.  The journey here on earth is a continuation to a predestined end.

The truth is that we shall all see God.  Yes.  Whether you accept Him now or not, your journey will ultimately lead to the same place as mine in the end.  Jesus will see us all. None shall be left behind.  We will all be judged according to our choices in the here and now.  We will either hear depart from me I know you not or well done my good and faithful servant.

With this I bet you wonder how to be sure that you will hear the words of affirmation.  I bet you wonder how then you are to walk in this journey so that the end is good.  The way, the truth and the life is Jesus.  He says there is no other way to the Father except through Him.

Do you know Him?  Is He a part of your journey?  Are your footsteps in line with His?  Are you listening out for His orders as to where those steps should be?  I hope so my friends.  Nothing else matters.  Nothing else that you can attain will be taken with you at the end of your days, your journey’s ultimate end.  It is not too late Jesus gives us the time to repent and come in alignment with Him.  Today, is your destiny!

 

 

It's Not About You

It’s Not About You. 

These were the words of truth echoing through my mind earlier this week as I prayed.  My past came to the present, equipped with passport and bags, he came to see his son.  In case, you are lost let me re-track.  My son’s dad came to see him.  It had been umpteen years since he came to Canada to see over the 21 years of my son’s life. Actually to be precise he visited him twice.  It was a trip that was well over due.

I found out quite by accident of this trip.  I had asked my prayer team to pray that he would visit.  I felt like it was needed for both of them and I wanted nothing to stand in the way.  So we prayed.  I heard nothing from him.  I happened to inquire of my son, “did you hear from your Dad?”  “Yes.” He responded.  “Do you know if he’s coming?” “Yes.” Was his singular response yet again.  With nothing else coming forth, I took it upon myself to go directly only to discover he will be in town the very next day.  No time. Nothing else added. Like father like son, the vault of information was closed to me. They knew and had made plans. I was excluded and unaware.

 

By now, if you are anything like me, your ire would be raised. You would be saying something like “You mean to say, they couldn’t tell you anything?”  That is exactly what I said.  So I took to the altar in prayer or complaining which ever one God calls it.  He said to me, clear as the day outside, “It is NOT about you”.  He says you don’t need to be offended, because this is not about you.  God had a plan that was in place and at the center of it were two men who were broken and in need of healing.  They needed this time together more than they even knew. This was a time to pour God’s balm into old wounds that did not heal but was only covered and hidden.  It was a time to restore and repair broken bonds between a father and a son.  It was time to throw out guilt and shame; a time to love on each other and be there for one another.  For three days they ate together, shared a room, talked, drove and “hung out” with each other. No-one else was included in the majority.  God gave them a gift these last few days – he gave to each man the g of each other. 

 

It was not about me.  I took my offense and washed it away with forgiveness.  I walked away from that time with God feeling chastened and yet freed.  God was answering my prayer and he didn’t need my help to do it.  I never saw my son’s Dad at all throughout his stay here, and guess what, it was okay.  I was happy and filled with gratefulness that this was even happening. 

Friends sometimes it really has nothing to do with you.  Allow God to do what He does and leave it all to Him.

 

Sin is at the door

I have been going through the book of Genesis. My journey into it is really just at the beginning.  So it is interesting to note that sin was from the beginning.  In case you had forgotten, it was in the very garden of Eden that Eve desired the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh and the pride of life.  From that moment, sin caused shame, fear, blame and the disconnect between man and God. 

Sin, destroys while deceiving us as the serpent did to Eve.  Sin, allows you to think that you are in control.  It gets you to believe that you will win.  Sin crouches at the door and it seeks to devour you and I, but you must master it. 

Eve fell prey.  Cain, her son, fell prey. Murder. Lies.  Guilt. Shame.  Sin grew to full contamination of the entire population of the world. Men boasted of how they would kill anyone who crossed them.  They saw themselves as equal with God.  In their hearts they believed they were God.  It caused our creator to regret making mankind.  In the days of Noah, God had his limit.  He wiped out everyone except the only righteous man left. Noah and his family.

Today we have been given grace.  We are under the covenant that God made with man.  He says never again will he erase us by flood.  Yet, do not be lulled into thinking that you can do as you wish. Do not be deceived thinking that God has gone "soft".   God said to Cain, you must master it, instead he allowed it to cause him to kill Able.  Friends, sin is at the door, do not let it get the upper hand.  Do not invite it in. Do not be deceived.  Do not be mastered by sin.

Im not worthy

On September 14th, I celebrated my birthday.  I turned 41 years old and for me it was an experience.  My family had planned a "surprise" dinner to celebrate the event. I thought as we gathered together, I am not worthy.  On the day of, I went to work and received beautiful yellow roses from one colleague, a huge cup-cake from another and the entire upper management singing at my office door, Happy Birthday to You.  I was moved to tears by then because in my mind I said I am not worthy.

That's how most of us feel when we are called by God.  Jesus, the bridegroom, has sent out to us an invitation to the feast prepared by His father.  The oxen and fattened cattle has been prepared, the table set and all is ready.  He calls us all, the good and the bad to this feast.  Yet, we turn away.  We seek instead the things that pleases our flesh.  We fill up on the feast of the world, junk food and empty calories.  We disqualify ourselves because all along we have felt that we were not worthy. 

Today, I say to you that you are called. You decide whether or not you choose to accept his invitation.  The lies by the enemy have been exposed and you are worthy, you do qualify.  So choose today, will you come and taste the goodness of God?  Will you attend dressed in the wedding garments he has prepared?  Many are called but only a few are chosen.  Beloved, you are worthy.  Jesus qualifies you.  Say yes and He will do the rest.  All is ready.  The work is done.  Come to the wedding feast, come celebrate and rejoice.  (Matthew 22:1-14)

God is Watching Over

This week I have been soaking in messages all geared to the theme of God is Watching.  It has been so good to realize that I am not alone in my walk on this earth.  I think of the many times I have felt alone and how far from the truth that has been.  God's eyes has always been upon me. I know, that for you, it might not be all comforting. You may feel that it is kind of creepy being in a glass bowl, being watched all the time.  Yet, it is not the same as a fish being observed from the outside of the tank. 

It is not like the movies that shows the gods, Zeus and all his co-gods, being high above in some celestial palace, drinking wine and eating chocolates, while we fumble around in our humanity below.  No. God watches over His children.  He waits  to bring us comfort and provision.  He leads us along the still waters, and causes us to lie in green pastures.  His righteous right hand upholds us.  He watches over us in readiness to perform His word in our lives.  He watches to make our crooked paths straight.  God is watching.

Let that be a comfort to you my friends as you navigate these moments we call life.  Let that stir hope and peace in your heart. Let it be you resting place and key to liberty.  God is watching.

Even now, his angels are encamped about you and me as Paul writes in Hebrews 13.  I breathe deeply as I am relieved to know over is truth.  He is watching over our kids and all that concerns you.   He has never left nor forsaken you. He neither slumbers or sleeps.  Rest my friends for God is watching over you.

Let Him Go

Understand that right now I am writing this down as a way to process things that I don't understand.  I am a Mom. Over the last 20 plus years I have more questions than answers. I have felt inadequate more times than I care to think about. I have made thousands of mistakes and some have been far reaching into my today. I would love to say that I am an expert at this but for me the challenges are even more intense and I am at a loss as to how to overcome.  I did say that I am writing this as a way to process and so I hope you understand.  I just need God to show me how to swim in these deep waters. I can't swim in life much less this metaphoric illustration.  I'm not sure what to do and for the most part I wish I could back to the yesterday of day one with my son. I would have done some things different and some things I would have kept the same.
I have had this conversation before and God's answer has been the same. Let him go.
This post is the evidence that I am not being obedient. I am struggling to do this but the cost is tears and more heart ache. Let him go.
This without doubt is the answer that brings the peace that I so desperately desire right now.
LET HIM GO.

Lord, hear my cry.  Oh Lord show me the way that leads not to destruction but to Life. Open my eyes God to your truth. Lord show me how to let him go.  You are his safety net and I need to move out of the way of your purpose in this process.

If you can, will you pray for me as I pray for you too.