Amazing Grace

I once was lost, oh but now, thank God I am found

You see I once was blind, oh but now, thank God I see.

These are the words that played from my phone just mere seconds ago.  My heart clings to them like water to a thirsty man.  I am the one that was lost and now found. I am the one that was blind and now see.  I remember myself before Jesus. I remember the way I thought about things. I remember how I saw things. 

I smile, because in my own arrogance, I thought I knew everything that I needed. My plans were to never marry, never have kids, and travel the world.  I thought living with a man was nothing.  Sex before marriage was not a stretch in a committed relationship.  Lying was okay as long as they were “white”.  I was world smart and morally tainted by its colour.  I was lost and blind.

In my heart I reasoned that I am not like those people. You know the murderer, the thief, the promiscuous and the others.  I was a good person.  I was so lost.

Do you know that your sins will find you out?  In Numbers 32:23, Moses tells the people “…be sure your sin will find you out.”  Do you know that what you sow you shall reap? Paul writes to the Galatians 6:7, you can never make a fool out of God.  God is not mocked, for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.  The choices we make in the “spring’ of our lives will be harvested in the “fall” of it. 

I chose to get into a relationship with a man who was a boy at the time, as much as I was just a girl. In our spring, we went along as the world dictated. We did not wait, and never considered that as an option.  In our summer we thought we were safe. Nothing had happened that was life changing. The sun was out and all that was ahead, we thought, were blue skies.  In the fall, we harvested what we did not expect, a son.  Unwed, unprepared, unhappy and unlikely to make it was my life’s picture at that time.  I was so lost, but God….  My life changed and the worst thing that I thought that could happen to me was the beginning of the best days ahead.

To make a long story short, what I was hiding was now fully exposed.  I used to always hear whatever is done in the dark will be brought to light.  Well, not only was I pregnant, it was for a boy no-one knew I was dating.  Exposed.  Shame.  Guilt. Terror.  I had no choice, and I had to come to Canada.  I had to live with my family.  That family led me to the Lord and here I am today. 

I was so lost, but now I am found. I was so blind but now I see. Amazing grace is the anthem of my heart. I was a wretch undone, but God saved me.  He changed me. He rearranged my moral compass, my thinking, my point of view and gave me a purpose for His glory.

 

Is this you as well?  Could this be your song for your life today?  Did God take you from the wretchedness of your life to show you the truth and beauty of His Abundant Life?  Or maybe, you are not saved. You are the almost Christian, the one that never seems to leap completely into Jesus’ waiting arms.  Almost Christians, always go to Hell, (harsh, but oh so true).  I urge you to leap, don’t think.  I pray that God’s spirit will still reside with you, drawing you to Jesus, tenderizing your heart and ridding you of the stone that has been there all these years.  His amazing grace is for you as much as it was for me, come and dwell in it.