nothing wrong with a little discipline

parents this is for you. i am the mother of a teenager, an 18 year old to be exact. well soon to be 18y/o. i have been struggling to hold on to God's promises. i mean i really feel like the cat that is holding on to the rope with the last bit of strength i have.
my son has yet to see himself as i do, much less as God does. truly without a vision the people perish. 


right now i realize that we have more disagreements because he is too old to be a baby, but still too young to be an adult. i know; he is legally almost there. but in his mind, he is a baby. so i've been holding on to any moment of peace we have had, and i allowed something else to come in; Fear.


i have been afraid to discipline him. i have been afraid that if i said the wrong thing he would leave home. i have been afraid that he would be mad at me forever. i have been afraid of the darkness coming into our home.  i have been afraid to do anything.

but all that i feared the most came upon me. i am thinking of the israelites or even of job and how their fear materialized, destroying so many things, and crushing hope and faith.  lord knows, i am not pointing fingers at anyone else but myself.

one day as i was driving home i heard the question in my head, am i afraid of him?  i responded laughingly, yes lord i am. I am afraid of my son.

well it was from that point that i realized how crazy that was to even admitt.  how can i have a son that i am afraid to correct. is it not a wise man that takes correction? am i not chastened/disciplined by own heavenly father because he loves me?

it was then that i fully understood that discipline never kills anyone when administered in love. it helps, and corrects, builds and repairs.  it is good and not bad.

the darkness i feared was already lying in a bed, all 170lbs of it.  it was time to shine the light inside of me and drive this beast out!

God certainly never gives you knowledge for no reason. that very weekend i was put to the test.  discipline or allow the misconduct and wayward behaviour.  i decided it was enough warnings and discipline i did. since then i have had to get tougher, and i have heard that i am "extra", but i smile knowing that all these things are working together for my good as i do love the Lord!