On the day Maya Angelou died

On the day that Maya Angelou died, hate coloured with meanness was evident in the life of a friend of mine.  She came back from Wal-Mart, two blocks away from our office.  We were to have lunch together and she was late.  In my blissfully unaware state, I imagined that she got caught up walking the aisles. It has happened to me more than a few times and I was not going to give it another thought.  If only that were the case.  If only she did not have to experience what she did on a day like today; the day that Maya Angelo passed away.

It began with a scuffle for a parking spot.  She drove into one that was available without a thought.  A man was not as nonchalant about this and he made sure his opinions were known to her and anyone with ears to hear.  He yelled to her, “Why did you park in that spot you F#a%^***ing N***ger?”  Perhaps to you and me, that was a bit excessive.  It was bad, but she kept going, choosing to ignore him and finish up her chore at hand. 

Run into the store, grab the one item, run to the cashier.  MacDonald’s beckoned, better get some nuggets. Run to the car.  Her car was attacked.  She said she walked around her entire car, thinking maybe a bird, a flock of them, did a number two?  But upon closer examination it was not what she hoped but what she had initially feared.  .  Streams of saliva made its way down the driver’s side window and door.  As Maya Angelou says, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”  This man showed himself to be a small minded person, with the vocabulary of someone lacking social graces and culture. He had left his mark in a more tangible way.  He was gone like the coward he was – fighting a woman he felt was beneath him and then running away to hide.

 

He was like a member from the KKK, who did their evil with covered faces to hide their identity. Cowards.  She was shaking and held back the tears that were threatening to override her control.  By nature, she is strong, but this had gotten to her and I could see it despite her valiant attempt to appear unruffled.  How is it that on this 28^th day of May, in the year 2014 we are still faced with this kind of hate?  How is it that blacks and whites are still so far apart?  He was a reminder of what we had forgotten – racism is real and very much alive in the hearts of men today.  In North America, we hold our noses up and criticise the East and their intolerance.  Yet, we are hypocrites and fools if we think that same hate is not here in our back yards, lurking in the parking lots of Wal-Marts, and smiling at us from across the counters of fast food restaurants and fancy banks and stores.

God help us we have not come far enough. God help us we are still colour blinded.  God help us we are a mess and our secret is showing through the gaping cracks in our masks.  We sit, work, eat and live amongst people that hate us because of our colour, gender, economic class or whatever else they deem we don’t measure up to.  God help us not to hate each other, but love as you have commanded even when it is not reciprocated.  As Maya Angelou said “Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leap fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.”

 

 

Amazing Grace

I once was lost, oh but now, thank God I am found

You see I once was blind, oh but now, thank God I see.

These are the words that played from my phone just mere seconds ago.  My heart clings to them like water to a thirsty man.  I am the one that was lost and now found. I am the one that was blind and now see.  I remember myself before Jesus. I remember the way I thought about things. I remember how I saw things. 

I smile, because in my own arrogance, I thought I knew everything that I needed. My plans were to never marry, never have kids, and travel the world.  I thought living with a man was nothing.  Sex before marriage was not a stretch in a committed relationship.  Lying was okay as long as they were “white”.  I was world smart and morally tainted by its colour.  I was lost and blind.

In my heart I reasoned that I am not like those people. You know the murderer, the thief, the promiscuous and the others.  I was a good person.  I was so lost.

Do you know that your sins will find you out?  In Numbers 32:23, Moses tells the people “…be sure your sin will find you out.”  Do you know that what you sow you shall reap? Paul writes to the Galatians 6:7, you can never make a fool out of God.  God is not mocked, for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.  The choices we make in the “spring’ of our lives will be harvested in the “fall” of it. 

I chose to get into a relationship with a man who was a boy at the time, as much as I was just a girl. In our spring, we went along as the world dictated. We did not wait, and never considered that as an option.  In our summer we thought we were safe. Nothing had happened that was life changing. The sun was out and all that was ahead, we thought, were blue skies.  In the fall, we harvested what we did not expect, a son.  Unwed, unprepared, unhappy and unlikely to make it was my life’s picture at that time.  I was so lost, but God….  My life changed and the worst thing that I thought that could happen to me was the beginning of the best days ahead.

To make a long story short, what I was hiding was now fully exposed.  I used to always hear whatever is done in the dark will be brought to light.  Well, not only was I pregnant, it was for a boy no-one knew I was dating.  Exposed.  Shame.  Guilt. Terror.  I had no choice, and I had to come to Canada.  I had to live with my family.  That family led me to the Lord and here I am today. 

I was so lost, but now I am found. I was so blind but now I see. Amazing grace is the anthem of my heart. I was a wretch undone, but God saved me.  He changed me. He rearranged my moral compass, my thinking, my point of view and gave me a purpose for His glory.

 

Is this you as well?  Could this be your song for your life today?  Did God take you from the wretchedness of your life to show you the truth and beauty of His Abundant Life?  Or maybe, you are not saved. You are the almost Christian, the one that never seems to leap completely into Jesus’ waiting arms.  Almost Christians, always go to Hell, (harsh, but oh so true).  I urge you to leap, don’t think.  I pray that God’s spirit will still reside with you, drawing you to Jesus, tenderizing your heart and ridding you of the stone that has been there all these years.  His amazing grace is for you as much as it was for me, come and dwell in it.

 

 

 

 

Walking like I don't believe

Good morning, afternoon or night.

I greet you in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour! 

I was happy to attend the Church Of God's annual Missions Banquet on Saturday.  I heard so many good things from people I travelled with last summer on my very first missions trip to Belize.  Let me share some with you.  J I heard have since been back to Belize with Uncle Pastor.  Nickayla I heard have been travelling all over and I believe Japan is next on her list.  Sarah, I heard is going to the Philippines for a month and I know and have seen the work as the Belize Plan continues.  (I wondered again if God wanted me to go and be a foster parent for those kids in Belize…not hearing anything so far. J) 

With all of that said, I believe anything is possible.  Yet, sometimes I don't live as if I do. 

 This brings me to the text, Matthew 6.  Jesus was talking to the people about worry. Anybody have a problem with this?  You know, you worry about what you will eat or not eat, what you will wear, and the big one – Money.  How little you have and how much more you need.  If you are like me, these things can consume your mind.  Jesus says these are the same things that dominate the mind of an unbeliever.  This was my AHA moment.  WHAT!?  Have I been walking like an unbeliever?  Yes. I have. 

 

Jesus assures us that God is quite capable of taking care of all our needs.  As I listened to the testimony on Saturday from Pastor Youdi and Sister Pam, I realized that the mission that God has given them is one of faith.  How else could they build and buy and ship and give and do?  It is not possible without faith.   When I listen to my little "niece" Nickayla, I am reminded again of the life of faith. How else could she go to London, Japan and where ever else with no money if not by faith?  How else could Jevaun go to a job interview and boldly declare that he was going to Belize and if that was going to be a problem then they were not to hire him, if not by faith?

 

Jesus calls us to believe in His father for our sustenance.  He says seek God’s kingdom first and everything else will be added unto you.  I believe this is what our friends are living out.  I am taking notes from their classrooms.  They are seeking God’s kingdom first.  They are walking in a  realm of faith that makes them look like mad men to those around them.  Yet, it is this crazy faith that makes them “believers”. 

 

We know that God owes us nothing but we believe that He can do anything.  With this in mind, I am willing to seek after his Kingdom as well. I am willing to renew my mind today (and every single day after this), to ask Him what I can do for Him today.  Food, money and clothes God will take care of – no need to worry anymore. J

Lord, if we had your eyes then we could see...

Last night my son brought a friend home.  She was a young girl that my family was meeting for the first time.  She came and my son asked me for some food for her to eat. She had told him before arriving that she was hungry.  In my head, I heard hospitality, hospitality (repeated word intended).  So I gave her some dinner of rice and chicken. I thought to myself, well she is very bold.  I thought perhaps she would allow us to convince her to take something to eat.  You know, pretend she isn't hungry and then accept our offer graciously. 


When my sister came home, I told her of our guest and what I thought.  I am ashamed of it now, because I planted the seed of judgement when that was not what I heard.  Where was the hospitable charity?  Yes, I gave her things but my heart was not in the right place.  In my giving, I was judging.  In myself I knew that was wrong before the Holy Spirit checked me on it.


In continuing the germination of a bad seed, my sister told my other sister and they both made judgements about this girl of whom we knew nothing but her first name.  I looked at them and I was ashamed.  I then said to them, what is wrong if she has no fear of us. What is wrong if she is not acting all shy and coy?  Maybe someone is saying the same thing about me.  For anyone who knows me, I am able to fit in with most people, starting conversations with strangers and making myself happy no matter where I am.  Of course my sisters were like "oh no, she is prime.  No fear...."  Our eyes saw what we wanted.  I saw my wrong and they saw someone they considered a bad influence for my son.


God has his own way of correcting us when we stray off course.  After I drove her home, my son told me that she spoke to him about God.  In fact, she continued a conversation I had started with him last week - why does God get all the credit for everything good in our house?  She wanted him to attend church with her - a youth group she attended with her friend.  He said she was searching for God and also encouraging him to do the same.  Wow.  I smiled inside because I knew God was speaking to me and confirming what he already started in me.  I told my sister and she was surprized.  She was shocked and asked repeatedly, "she goes to church?"  Yes. She does.


As if I needed anything else, a song I never heard before played on the cd that I recently bought.  It was called "If we had your eyes" song by Michelle Williams.  The lyrics was like the full stop to the lesson God's spirit was teaching me and led me to repentance:


People judge from what they see
But Lord you see the heart

If we had Your eyes
We’d see things right
If we could just see from Your point view
Then most things won’t be as they seem
If we had Your eyes
If we had Your eyes


I share with you because maybe you have been quick to sum something or someone up based on what you see.  However, I urge you to ask God to give you his eyes so we can see things as they really are and not as they seem.