Woman of Substance

A woman of substance has gone home.

A woman of quiet strength has finally found rest.

A woman of character, perseverance and hope has accomplished her ultimate goal.

A woman of zeal and passion for life has embraced victory and its crown.

A woman of love has been embraced by the One who is Himself Love.

A woman of who there is no duplicate, has endured to the end with grace and dignity.

 

Today we say good-bye, each in our own way, to this woman that we love.  She taught us many things, and it is our hope that we will live up to the legacy that she has left behind; love with your entire being, never give up and make Jesus your best-friend.  Thanks a million Clear/Mom/Friend.

 
I wrote this piece for my son's grand-mother who passed away this month.  I have never had the chance to say goodbye to someone who I knew was dying.  It is a surreal experience.  I called her that day and it was to be the last conversation we had on this side of the living.  She labored with every breath and words were no longer able to come from her mouth.  She could hear but her focus and energy was on living for that moment. It was a terrible time to hear and know all that I did.  Yet, I thank God for allowing me the opportunity to be there, via the phone, at just that time. 


I told her I loved her and I thanked her for her influence and all that she had done for me.  I said goodbye the only way I knew how and I will never regret or forget that moment.  I never had it with my Dad, my uncle, my grand-father or my friends who passed away.  So I know what it is not to have those treasured last words.  I know what it is like to live in the realm of "if only..." AND "I should have...".


This woman fought until her very last breath, never giving up hope for a miracle, even when the doctors said it was impossible.  She still saw a tomorrow, and died believing it was possible.  God was merciful, and I believe that she has no regrets.  She is with Jesus and I am sure she wishes she had gotten there sooner. I am glad for the live she lived.  Because she existed, my son was made possible.  She loved us, and showed us how much.


May I never forget my friend - Cleartilda Franklin.

God help me...I don't know what I am doing

Hi. My name is Engada and I don’t know what I am doing. 

I don’t know what to do about my increasing debt, my maxed out credit cards, my one third of a mortgage and my bank account that has been in the red for years.  I don’t know what to do about my church membership (or lack thereof), belonging nowhere and having no-one as my “head” ;  reporting my whereabouts to no-one, and having no-one looking for me to be anywhere. 

I do know that something is not right, and it becomes even clearer as the words are spelt out before me – black and white, no grey shadows here.

Today I am on vacation and I had not planned on it being a day of introspection.  I was reading a novel and something in it caught me, and forced me from the fiction of the character to the reality of my own life.  In the McDonald’s Café I began to wonder “what am I doing?”  My life is a mess and I know it fully well.  Where is the girl that would have been voted most likely to succeed?  How did I get here?  Where exactly is this place that I have found myself? 

I feel like my life is on pause and for some reason I can’t find play or stop.  Either one would do because it would be better than my current “stuck” position.  God.  Where. Are. You.

I am sorry for being melodramatic, but I know that someone else feels just as I do.  I know that you are also looking at your life and wondering what happened?  I am not alone, and neither are you.

As I sat there this morning, I prayed that God would just wrap me up in his arms and hold me close. I wanted to feel him next to me and have Him be like a Dad.  I wanted to just sit on his lap and bury my head beneath his chin.  I wanted him to say to me “There there, everything will be okay.”   

I wanted to feel like I was standing on solid ground, because right about now, I feel like the ground has been removed from beneath my feet.  Do you know what I mean?  Do you understand?

I feel a little like Rahab. She was a mess but she knew enough to know who could save her.  She knew the power of the God of Israel.  She knew that he was God of the heavens and of the earth. She knew that her own people were faint hearted at what they knew he could do.  She knew that she needed to be on His side. She knew that her safety was dependent on having that God, the true God, on her side.  She faced impending death and destruction – I would say that her situation was a lot more direr than my own.  Death was an outcome guaranteed without the help of the God of Israel.  She trusted that she would be spared and was bold enough to ask - or perhaps just desperate enough to take any risks.  So upon the word of the two spies, and her obedience to their agreement, she set about waiting for the walls to fall all around her.  She waited under the covenant of men who served a Mighty God, who could do the impossible.  She knew only this, God was able to save her and her entire family.   

I am breathing again.  A sigh has escaped me because I know something too; God can save me too.  He is still the God of heaven and earth.  He loves me, and with every fiber in my being, I love him back. 

He loves you too, and let me tell you this today, you will make it.  Somehow, someway, you will make it, by His strength and not your own – God will show you, and I, the way.  He will tell us what to do.

Grace and Mercy

My sister, who has been struggling with health issues for longer than I care to count, was recently admitted to the hospital.  Sigh.  She was not behaving as she should have and as God would have it, circumstances evolved into us calling an ambulance, which rushed her to the hospital. 


While we were waiting for some answers to come from the doctors, I felt at peace.  They were tossing out possible reasons for her symptoms and none of them were good.  Minutes and seconds passed and she was rushed to ICU.  This was more serious than we imagined it to be.  Still there was a peace among our group.


In ICU that day, her nurse was ever so patient and kind. She was attentive. She was Grace.


At 7:30pm, the nurses switched off and Kal had another nurse. I remember my Mom saying she didn't want to leave because she had not gotten a chance to know this nurse. She wanted to make sure that she would be empathetic.  She needed to know that this nurse would be like the day nurse.


We stayed in the room, watching my sister sleep.  She was really out of it as the bacteria in her blood was being fought by the antibiotics they had intravenously administered.  The hour grew late and we were beginning to wilt from lack of sleep.  It was time to leave or pass out ourselves. 


We went to the nurses station and my eyes caught the nurses' computer screen.  She had the bible online - the book of Isaiah.  Again, I was comforted.  Yes Lord, I thought, a fellow believer.  This was Mercy.


I went home and began to thank God for his presence in that hospital.  It was at that time that I realized the names of the nurses - Grace and Mercy.  I could hardly believe it as I processed this fact.  God had sent Grace and Mercy who followed each other in that order, to remind us of His word and presence.  My sister and I began excited chatter as we both took in the significance of this piece of information.


God literally sent us Grace and Mercy in the form of two nurses were he used as instruments in His hands to care for my sister. Only a God who loves us with no boundaries would do something like that. He knew we needed this and I believe that He was the invisible hand in that hospital last week.  He was our present help.  He was our divine healer. He was our comforter.  He was our Grace and Mercy that was there to bring us through.


Franklin Williams wrote the words of this song that is even now blessing my heart, may it bless yours also:


Your grace and mercy, brought me through
I'm living this moment because of You
I want to thank You, and praise You too
Your grace and mercy, brought me through

Sing to the trees

My friend and I volunteer at a nursing home for seniors.  We have been doing this for over ten years and it hardly seems that long to either of us.  We go twice a month to this home and have church services.  My role is to love on every resident and to sing songs of praise.  I love going there as I always receive so much.

Last week we noted that a resident we have known since we began was in a state of decline. She was mid way through her nineties and her body was already showing the strain. We saw that years before. Now, however, her mind was also less alert. She was worried about the "bus" that was to come for her. It was sad to see, and yet just a picture of reality.

It was this in mind that my friend spoke to me. She said that I have been given a God given gift to sing praise and worship. She encouraged me to sing to the trees if that was the only audience I had.  Time is not an unlimited supply of seconds and minutes. For all of us, there will come a day when time in this body will end.  What  a waste it would be if we didn't do all that we were told by God to do, or use the gifts He gave us for His glory? What a tragedy to hide the talent in the ground until the return of the master? 

Let me encourage you to do all that God has given you strength to do for Him. Do not for one moment hide that talent. You can dance, so dance. You can write so write. You can speak so speak. You can clean, organize, cook, give, or any other thing, so do. You can sing, so sing - even if it is to the trees!

I am fearfully and wonderfully made...I know that full well

My friend sent me a picture of herself today and her subject heading was “look at the size of me”.  I opened it up and I knew what I would see.  It was a picture of a woman that got caught at a bad angle, and yes was overweight.  It was a picture of what I sometimes look like if caught on camera.  My response to her was quick.  God had already prepped me for this conversation before I knew I would have it.

 

To her I said, “Yes, we have definitely been transformed.  Not to worry, we can fix ourselves right back up.  Do you feel sometimes that your former body has been eaten by this new one?  :-)  Yep I have been there. It is funny I should come in and see this as I had a "pep talk" with myself as I looked at the reflection today (it’s funny how that image never quite matches the way I see myself in my mind).  My pep talk was a verse that we all know; I am fearfully and wonderfully made. It is a truth that I keep close because I need to crush the lies often.  You know the one that says, girl you fat eeeh (yes, it knows how to speak to me in my dialect).  Or girl your hair look a mess.  Or girl your chin has hair and you are supposed to be girl!  Or girl your face full up a so much spot and wart eeeh.  Yes my friend, I know fully well what you are going through. 

 

But to God be the glory, we have so much more going on than the size of our clothes, or the smoothness of flawless skin, or the shine of our hair. We have life.  We have breath and a hope [in God] that does not disappoint.  We have the word in our hearts and a Father that hears us when we call.  We have the fear of the Lord and that is beauty to the Lord. Our hearts are soft towards others and it makes us even more attractive.  Yes, we are pushing the scale and for sure exercise will benefit our bodies, but in the mean time we will not be ashamed. [If we are ashamed then let us not be any more]. We will not hide because God says shine!

 

I love you. God loves you.

 

You are fearfully and wonderfully made in God's image!”

 

Here are some verses that you can keep as ammunition against the lies of our enemy:

 

·        Psalm 139:14

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

 

·        Proverbs 31:30

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

 

·        1 Peter 3:3-4

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment…it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

 

·        1 Timothy 4:8

Physical exercise has some value, but spiritual exercise is much more important, for it promises a reward in both this life and the next.