Why have I made it so hard to forgive?

I don't throw stones at anyone for I have been guilty of this very sin - unforgiveness.  The spell check tells me this is not a word and I agree.  In our culture it is not the norm to forgive swiftly.  We don't acknowledge that there is a need to forgive others.  We don't see the devastation of not letting things go.

I heard the sad declaration of my uncle who refuses to forgive his daughter as he says "I would rather go to Hell than to forgive her".  I hear the words of my sister as she refuses to let things go and builds the walls of offense higher and higher as she cries out "Everytime...."  I hear it in my own thoughts as I struggle to forgive my son's dad for wounds freshly received and perhaps not intended.

It is not new knowledge that not forgiving others causes hardness of heart and impairs our physical health.  Yet, it doesn't seem to make a difference in our responses to each other.  I cringe when I remember the prayer of Jesus to the Father. 

"Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us"

Do I have any right to hold someone hostage in my heart?  Do I have any right to deny them forgiveness? I have been forgiven of so much.  I have been given grace and mercy so many times.  I have received, so how can I not turn around and give as much?  Why have I made it so hard to forgive? 

Listen, I turn the spotlight upon myself today and I urge you to do the same.  Examine your heart and ask Holy Spirit to light up the darkness and expose the awful cancer of unforgiveness.  It will never be uncovered by any MRI, but the rays of God are able to see to the heart of all of us.

Friends, lets let it go today.  Make that list and begin to pray

Father show me how to forgive them as you forgive me, In Jesus name.