On the day Maya Angelou died

On the day that Maya Angelou died, hate coloured with meanness was evident in the life of a friend of mine.  She came back from Wal-Mart, two blocks away from our office.  We were to have lunch together and she was late.  In my blissfully unaware state, I imagined that she got caught up walking the aisles. It has happened to me more than a few times and I was not going to give it another thought.  If only that were the case.  If only she did not have to experience what she did on a day like today; the day that Maya Angelo passed away.

It began with a scuffle for a parking spot.  She drove into one that was available without a thought.  A man was not as nonchalant about this and he made sure his opinions were known to her and anyone with ears to hear.  He yelled to her, “Why did you park in that spot you F#a%^***ing N***ger?”  Perhaps to you and me, that was a bit excessive.  It was bad, but she kept going, choosing to ignore him and finish up her chore at hand. 

Run into the store, grab the one item, run to the cashier.  MacDonald’s beckoned, better get some nuggets. Run to the car.  Her car was attacked.  She said she walked around her entire car, thinking maybe a bird, a flock of them, did a number two?  But upon closer examination it was not what she hoped but what she had initially feared.  .  Streams of saliva made its way down the driver’s side window and door.  As Maya Angelou says, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”  This man showed himself to be a small minded person, with the vocabulary of someone lacking social graces and culture. He had left his mark in a more tangible way.  He was gone like the coward he was – fighting a woman he felt was beneath him and then running away to hide.

 

He was like a member from the KKK, who did their evil with covered faces to hide their identity. Cowards.  She was shaking and held back the tears that were threatening to override her control.  By nature, she is strong, but this had gotten to her and I could see it despite her valiant attempt to appear unruffled.  How is it that on this 28^th day of May, in the year 2014 we are still faced with this kind of hate?  How is it that blacks and whites are still so far apart?  He was a reminder of what we had forgotten – racism is real and very much alive in the hearts of men today.  In North America, we hold our noses up and criticise the East and their intolerance.  Yet, we are hypocrites and fools if we think that same hate is not here in our back yards, lurking in the parking lots of Wal-Marts, and smiling at us from across the counters of fast food restaurants and fancy banks and stores.

God help us we have not come far enough. God help us we are still colour blinded.  God help us we are a mess and our secret is showing through the gaping cracks in our masks.  We sit, work, eat and live amongst people that hate us because of our colour, gender, economic class or whatever else they deem we don’t measure up to.  God help us not to hate each other, but love as you have commanded even when it is not reciprocated.  As Maya Angelou said “Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leap fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.”

 

 

Amazing Grace

I once was lost, oh but now, thank God I am found

You see I once was blind, oh but now, thank God I see.

These are the words that played from my phone just mere seconds ago.  My heart clings to them like water to a thirsty man.  I am the one that was lost and now found. I am the one that was blind and now see.  I remember myself before Jesus. I remember the way I thought about things. I remember how I saw things. 

I smile, because in my own arrogance, I thought I knew everything that I needed. My plans were to never marry, never have kids, and travel the world.  I thought living with a man was nothing.  Sex before marriage was not a stretch in a committed relationship.  Lying was okay as long as they were “white”.  I was world smart and morally tainted by its colour.  I was lost and blind.

In my heart I reasoned that I am not like those people. You know the murderer, the thief, the promiscuous and the others.  I was a good person.  I was so lost.

Do you know that your sins will find you out?  In Numbers 32:23, Moses tells the people “…be sure your sin will find you out.”  Do you know that what you sow you shall reap? Paul writes to the Galatians 6:7, you can never make a fool out of God.  God is not mocked, for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.  The choices we make in the “spring’ of our lives will be harvested in the “fall” of it. 

I chose to get into a relationship with a man who was a boy at the time, as much as I was just a girl. In our spring, we went along as the world dictated. We did not wait, and never considered that as an option.  In our summer we thought we were safe. Nothing had happened that was life changing. The sun was out and all that was ahead, we thought, were blue skies.  In the fall, we harvested what we did not expect, a son.  Unwed, unprepared, unhappy and unlikely to make it was my life’s picture at that time.  I was so lost, but God….  My life changed and the worst thing that I thought that could happen to me was the beginning of the best days ahead.

To make a long story short, what I was hiding was now fully exposed.  I used to always hear whatever is done in the dark will be brought to light.  Well, not only was I pregnant, it was for a boy no-one knew I was dating.  Exposed.  Shame.  Guilt. Terror.  I had no choice, and I had to come to Canada.  I had to live with my family.  That family led me to the Lord and here I am today. 

I was so lost, but now I am found. I was so blind but now I see. Amazing grace is the anthem of my heart. I was a wretch undone, but God saved me.  He changed me. He rearranged my moral compass, my thinking, my point of view and gave me a purpose for His glory.

 

Is this you as well?  Could this be your song for your life today?  Did God take you from the wretchedness of your life to show you the truth and beauty of His Abundant Life?  Or maybe, you are not saved. You are the almost Christian, the one that never seems to leap completely into Jesus’ waiting arms.  Almost Christians, always go to Hell, (harsh, but oh so true).  I urge you to leap, don’t think.  I pray that God’s spirit will still reside with you, drawing you to Jesus, tenderizing your heart and ridding you of the stone that has been there all these years.  His amazing grace is for you as much as it was for me, come and dwell in it.

 

 

 

 

Walking like I don't believe

Good morning, afternoon or night.

I greet you in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour! 

I was happy to attend the Church Of God's annual Missions Banquet on Saturday.  I heard so many good things from people I travelled with last summer on my very first missions trip to Belize.  Let me share some with you.  J I heard have since been back to Belize with Uncle Pastor.  Nickayla I heard have been travelling all over and I believe Japan is next on her list.  Sarah, I heard is going to the Philippines for a month and I know and have seen the work as the Belize Plan continues.  (I wondered again if God wanted me to go and be a foster parent for those kids in Belize…not hearing anything so far. J) 

With all of that said, I believe anything is possible.  Yet, sometimes I don't live as if I do. 

 This brings me to the text, Matthew 6.  Jesus was talking to the people about worry. Anybody have a problem with this?  You know, you worry about what you will eat or not eat, what you will wear, and the big one – Money.  How little you have and how much more you need.  If you are like me, these things can consume your mind.  Jesus says these are the same things that dominate the mind of an unbeliever.  This was my AHA moment.  WHAT!?  Have I been walking like an unbeliever?  Yes. I have. 

 

Jesus assures us that God is quite capable of taking care of all our needs.  As I listened to the testimony on Saturday from Pastor Youdi and Sister Pam, I realized that the mission that God has given them is one of faith.  How else could they build and buy and ship and give and do?  It is not possible without faith.   When I listen to my little "niece" Nickayla, I am reminded again of the life of faith. How else could she go to London, Japan and where ever else with no money if not by faith?  How else could Jevaun go to a job interview and boldly declare that he was going to Belize and if that was going to be a problem then they were not to hire him, if not by faith?

 

Jesus calls us to believe in His father for our sustenance.  He says seek God’s kingdom first and everything else will be added unto you.  I believe this is what our friends are living out.  I am taking notes from their classrooms.  They are seeking God’s kingdom first.  They are walking in a  realm of faith that makes them look like mad men to those around them.  Yet, it is this crazy faith that makes them “believers”. 

 

We know that God owes us nothing but we believe that He can do anything.  With this in mind, I am willing to seek after his Kingdom as well. I am willing to renew my mind today (and every single day after this), to ask Him what I can do for Him today.  Food, money and clothes God will take care of – no need to worry anymore. J

Lord, if we had your eyes then we could see...

Last night my son brought a friend home.  She was a young girl that my family was meeting for the first time.  She came and my son asked me for some food for her to eat. She had told him before arriving that she was hungry.  In my head, I heard hospitality, hospitality (repeated word intended).  So I gave her some dinner of rice and chicken. I thought to myself, well she is very bold.  I thought perhaps she would allow us to convince her to take something to eat.  You know, pretend she isn't hungry and then accept our offer graciously. 


When my sister came home, I told her of our guest and what I thought.  I am ashamed of it now, because I planted the seed of judgement when that was not what I heard.  Where was the hospitable charity?  Yes, I gave her things but my heart was not in the right place.  In my giving, I was judging.  In myself I knew that was wrong before the Holy Spirit checked me on it.


In continuing the germination of a bad seed, my sister told my other sister and they both made judgements about this girl of whom we knew nothing but her first name.  I looked at them and I was ashamed.  I then said to them, what is wrong if she has no fear of us. What is wrong if she is not acting all shy and coy?  Maybe someone is saying the same thing about me.  For anyone who knows me, I am able to fit in with most people, starting conversations with strangers and making myself happy no matter where I am.  Of course my sisters were like "oh no, she is prime.  No fear...."  Our eyes saw what we wanted.  I saw my wrong and they saw someone they considered a bad influence for my son.


God has his own way of correcting us when we stray off course.  After I drove her home, my son told me that she spoke to him about God.  In fact, she continued a conversation I had started with him last week - why does God get all the credit for everything good in our house?  She wanted him to attend church with her - a youth group she attended with her friend.  He said she was searching for God and also encouraging him to do the same.  Wow.  I smiled inside because I knew God was speaking to me and confirming what he already started in me.  I told my sister and she was surprized.  She was shocked and asked repeatedly, "she goes to church?"  Yes. She does.


As if I needed anything else, a song I never heard before played on the cd that I recently bought.  It was called "If we had your eyes" song by Michelle Williams.  The lyrics was like the full stop to the lesson God's spirit was teaching me and led me to repentance:


People judge from what they see
But Lord you see the heart

If we had Your eyes
We’d see things right
If we could just see from Your point view
Then most things won’t be as they seem
If we had Your eyes
If we had Your eyes


I share with you because maybe you have been quick to sum something or someone up based on what you see.  However, I urge you to ask God to give you his eyes so we can see things as they really are and not as they seem.

There is only one God

A topic that no one wants to talk about is God, the father of my saviour, mighty Jesus.  So of course at work the opportunity arose for me to speak up or say nothing.  My co-worker came over to tell me that someone recently got declared a new Saint by the Pope. 

She said she prays to the different Saints and she was excited to begin praying to him as well. 

I could say nothing.  My other co-worker was already saying, "Don't talk about religion".  He anticpated a fight, a disagreement of sorts.  I knew what was ahead as well. She would probably get mad, or get offended. Maybe I would be mad or red with passion for her to see and know the truth. The bible says that the truth sets us free and I wanted them to be liberated!

You know what happens next  right?  I spoke up.  "There is only one God.  Why are you praying to a dead man that cannot help you.  He cannot even raise himself from the grave. He can do nothing. He himself was created by God just like you."  I smile in recollection because that challenged everything she believed and maybe some of you are feeling incensed right now.  She said, "I beleive that they do help you...." Another co-worker said, "You both believe the same thing, God is at the head...." 

Well I had to disagree again. No. We do NOT believe the same thing.  There is no other God but God.  There is no other name to pray in but Jesus. I pray only to God the Father in the name of His son and that is absolute with no conditions.  With a boldness I can only attribute to the Holy Spirit I spoke to my co-worker of umpteen years. I told him (the other one left for a smoke break after telling me that this is her religion and I shouldn't say anything) that he needed to be saved, he needed Jesus.  I told him so that he could not say he didn't know and that no-one told him. I didn't want to loose touch with him, and never tell him that there is a God - ONE GOD.  He is more to me than a person sitting on the other side of my desk, he is a friend.

I have been silent on this mostly because I don't want to get into it; I don't want to offend; I don't want to seem too churchy or preachy.  But how does that help those whom I love and care about?  I take this wonderful news with me to Heaven and they go to Hell because of my fears and selfish motives?  God let it not be so.  I pray for many more doors or windows to be opened so that I can preach Christ, the only way by which men can be saved. 

At the cross, at the cross

Today I got a phone call from my friend.  My sister friend is how I really see her, so it really sent a shiver through me when I heard her voice choked with tears.  She still has to deal with her son's Inverted Anus, and this is surgery number 3 for him. 

I admit that for a moment I didn't know how to comfort her. I am not even physically there to offer her a hug, to pat her back and say there there. I am all the way in Canada and she is all the way in America.  So I listened and I muttered words that seemed to do as I intended - calm her down to now just the occasional sobs.  This was hard and I agreed with her that it was.  She wondered why after two surgeries she still feels all this anxiety and fear.  Why is she crying again?  I thought and replied, why not cry?  When we stub our toe in the same spot on different days does it still not hurt?  Why then should this be any different?  Ahhhh, that did the trick. 

She then said "I wish I could do this for him. I wish I could take this for him".  This one statement, caused me to pause. Is this what God said about His son Jesus?  Think about it for a second or two.  If we in our frail humanity and sinful flesh could say and feel such love for our children, what did he feel as He gave up His only son to die for us? 

Yes I know, Easter came and went, with chocolate and the Easter bunny for some, but this really brings me right back to the cross and beyond.   I wonder if God wept to see Jesus beaten and abused.  I wonder if He clenched his fists or stood up from his throne.  I wonder if His heart felt bruised as his son's body was pierced.  I wonder because as a mom, I feel just my friend does.  I want to take spare my son and nieces and nephews the heart aches in life. I want to shield and protect. I want to hide them from evil and keep them safe from harm. I want their walk to be perfect, having no sorrow or woes.  I want their best.  I want it all for them and would sacrifice so that they could. 

John 3:16 declares for all who are willing to see to see "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son...."  His love for us was what kept him from striking dead all those who were persecuting His son unjustly.  His plans was far greater than the hurt and hardship...His plans were for you. Yes, you.  You the one that even now continues to read because God's spirit has drawn you here today.  God loves you.  This is truth and there is no other.  Yes, that same messed up, never got it right you.  He loved you before you were formed and his plans, that including the death and terrible pain of his son, was so that you could live.  He loves you, no matter how you may be feeling right now. He loves you through all your mess and your failures.  He loves you and if He had to send his son Jesus again, He would.  Just for you my friend, God gave his son just for you....

Be Holy as I am Holy

Be holy, for I, the Lord, Your God, am holy. Leviticus 19:2

 This is the verse that has been floating around my head since the last day of March.  It came about as a result of a discussion from one of our infrequent family get together. It was a question as to whether or not grown adults, who professed Christ as their Lord, should be watching shows that promote a life style that is away from their beliefs.   My sister said they are adults and therefore should be allowed to do whatever they want?  That is the issue.  It is not me or her but God’s word that convicts and lays out for those who will follow, a standard that is above and away from what is the norm of today.

God says, be holy as I am holy.  While I am thinking about it, I am examining my own life.  I am looking at the many things that I have allowed my senses to partake of in the guise of entertainment.  I have laughed at the off colored jokes that were laced with immorality.  I have turned a blind eye to shows that have content that are dirty for lack of a better word.  I have allowed the language to leave a stain on me.  I may not repeat it out loud but my mind captures each scene and replays it without a conscious effort on my part.  It sums up to this one word - unholy.

Maybe this is just for me. Maybe the magnifying lens of this verse was to closely examine my own actions as a Christian.  Maybe it is for me to realize that as a child of God, there is a higher standard that is set and I need to live up to it. I need to come up higher and be holy as God is holy.  The question that comes to me now is how can I do this?  How do I live holy in a world that sees nothing wrong with two men in a bed, or speaking about pre-marital sex as an everyday occurrence and a normal part of any relationship?  

After doing some research, I have concluded that God is saying to me be set apart, be the city on the hill, be the light.  There should be some distinction between Christians and non-believers.  There should be a difference that calls others to the light of Jesus Christ that is within us.  There should be a moral standard that is based on the word of God that others can see and know and follow.  So while we are all consenting adults, I will echo Paul’s sentiments to the people of Corinth “Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial….” (1 Cor. 10:23).