I HAVE MORE THAN ENOUGH

I have turned 38years old this month.  I have not written anything and it is not because I have been low in spirit but rather, just plain busy.  Okay, I must admit, that on the morn of my birthday I did feel a pang of something.  I can’t say that there is a word that best describes it, for it wasn’t just one emotion but a myriad of such.  I was happy; I was not.  I was excited; I was weary.  I was a whole lot of things in just the few hours it took for me to get ready and out the door to work.  (I interject here to state that I went to work that Friday under duress.  Why I do not have my birthday off is still a mystery to me.) 

As I placed my hand on the door knob to make my exit, I paused.  I was reminded at that moment of how very blessed I was, and how many things I could and should be thankful to God for.  I have health and I have a sound mind.  These things I would normally take for granted. i presume that I will always be strong, and I will always be able to do for myself the things no-one thinks twice of – taking a bath, walking, talking, feeding myself and using the bath room alone.  I had to look at what others in my circle were going through, to truly appreciate the wealth I had in my possession.

I have seen how cancer has deteriorated the quality of life my friend once had.  I have seen how it caused her to shed pounds faster than any Billy Blanks Tae Bo routine.  I have seen how it has robbed her of clarity and comprehension.  I have seen how it has raised its ugly head of blackness in her life and threaten to zap the strength and will to fight from her.

I have seen how bulging discs and convulsing muscles has taken away my sister’s independence.  I have seen how she has measured her daily pain by each new level that it attains, and how she now has a new normal because of it.  I have seen how her mobility have been reduced because of multiple car accidents.  I have seen her crying real tears from enduring acute pains from cold insurance company doctor’s assessments. 

I have seen and I realize that I have so much.  I have all that these women do not have and more.  Why then should I allow myself to wallow in self-pity because of an increase in my age, or my increased dress size?  God did not allow me the liberty, for as quickly as those thoughts seeped into my consciousness, they evaporated at the same speed. 

So I am truly on the other side of 30, and is now closer to 40 than I realized.  But I have seen enough to know that this is a moment meant for worshipping.  Truly, I am wealthy, healthy and of a sound mind.  Indeed, I have more than enough.