I Was Prepared

Yesterday I took my sister to her appointment; she was to be assessed for a back to work functionality (I think I may have just made up my own word).  We both went in with apprehension.  I for one didn’t relish the three hour time frame everything would take, and she didn’t look forward to the pain from being pulled, pushed and prodded.  Yet, I was already preparing myself for the day, even while I was ignorant of my preparations.  I will tell you more about that later.

The appointment began in the usual format, with an interview to assess her mental state and to gather information about her medical condition.  Then it got more difficult.  The person (I am unsure of her title), began pulling and pushing my sister which brought tears as wave after wave of pain racked her body.  I could see the weariness in her eyes and I understood that doing much more would be a bad idea.  Yet, this assessment was mandated from her job and she had to follow through or risk being written up for non-compliance or worse, being cut-off from the benefits and termination.  I saw as she gritted her teeth, mentally, to complete all she could do today.

At the next level, they asked her to lift weights, walk with the weights and then push a cart. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back – literally in this case.  She began convulsing in a “seizure like” episode which gave me the boldness to say, “That’s it! We are done.”  Thankfully, the therapist gave no resistance as I doubt she wanted the liability of something going terribly wrong just to get the job done.

Now, remember how I said I was prepared? Here is what I meant.  Upon hearing about the appointment, I began to think about all that could go wrong. I began to visualize the pain she would experience because we have been through this before.  I began to put faith in my fears of all that could go wrong.  However, a bible study class made me realize that faith in fears was not fruitful.  I needed to see the grapes and not the giants.  I needed to see that my God was bigger than anything that was, is to come or would ever come my way.  I needed to trust that He that was in me was greater than he that was in the world.  The days leading up to the appointment I was renewing my mind.  I was being washed with the word of God, for his word is truth.  The verses of truth rolled around in my mind and I spoke out loud to myself, thereby increasing my faith as faith comes by hearing the word of God.

When my sister’s body decided it had had enough, I was in control. I was not overcome by fear, and was able to react with wisdom underscored by a peace that surpassed my understanding. Things could have ended worse, but it didn’t.  I believed and declared that God was with us then, and that he would even use this for our good.  I declared that we were not disadvantaged nor put to shame. The verse that was given to me in the morning came swiftly to my mind, Thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. (1 Cor.15:57).  I was prepared.