I'm Thankful

In the USA, many families are preparing to have dinner together to celebrate THANKSGIVING!  Usually this is the time when we start reflecting on what we have and what we are thankful for having or not having.  I wish, that we did this daily. I wish we took an inventory of our blessings and gave thanks to our Father in Heaven.  I wish we didn't wait for a party or a day but where we lived a life that was filled with gratitude.

My friend, Jodi, feels the same way.  She wrote this to me today:

It’s Wednesday…. Hump Day (who came up w/this I don’t know) – 2 more days left for some and for others it’s Thanksgiving Break!

 I am thankful for the opportunity to own a home and by the Grace of God maintain it. I am thankful for:

        i.            the vehicle I drive

      ii.            family and good friends

    iii.            an amazing church family

    iv.            food on the table

      v.            money for the wants (the things we things we just have to have, but really don’t need the majority of the time – a caffeinated beverage, piece of clothing etc. etc.) – More saving is on the horizon.

    vi.            Health and strength. So many are going through a lot, and though I need to lose weight, I am thankful there are not pressing health issues affecting me.

  vii.            The ability to work, to walk, to see, to speak, and feel ……

viii.            The ability to read, to travel, to eat and smell

     ix.            For the ability to take care of my father…. Though frustrations or better yet annoyances may arise J - I am so thankful I am able to take him to his varied doctor’s visits etc. I see so many who are left alone, not able to answer the questions being asked, or sitting there for hours at a time waiting on a family member to pick them up.

       x.          Dad and the fact he remembers family members names, though his dementia will increase as times goes on… He is able to exercise (he doesn’t saunter might I add…. It’s literally speed walking), he bathes and dresses himself and he is just dad/Grandpa Lloyd/LG/Sam/Uncle Lloyd or Uncle Sam/. Lloyd Gardner as he says with pride when he meets someone new.

     xi.        An amazing sister and what she brings to the family.

   xii.      Everything small, large and in between and the many freedoms we have.

She prompted this thanksgiving party for me.  I am thankful for this life I have been living. I get to live this life out, when so many others have been buried along the way.  I am thankful that I have been blessed to give birth to a son that I love and treasure so very much.  I am thankful that I have this amazing family that surrounds me and supports me and loves me. 

Now, I turn the floor over to you.  What are you thankful for?  Isn't it time to take stock of what you have been blessed to have, feel, do, or not have, not feel and not do?

Let us be thankful always!

Troubled Waters are a Sign of Miracles

I am going to share with you the comfort God gave me through an email from my pastor (I thank God for him).  I was feeling very burdened by the weight of family and friends who are going through diverse issues. My friend in Memphis continues to find it hard adjusting to life with a baby that is born with medical issues.  My son's grand-mother in Florida is battling cancer. My sister is still struggling through almost 3years of back pain that has made her disabled.  The people in the Philippines have suffered such a great loss from a Typhoon they named Yolanda. Soldiers have died in war and I felt the loss for the families remembering them today.  I burst into tears because I felt utterly useless, limited and incapable of offering help that I thought would be worthy.  I was overwhelmed and shared this with my pastor:

Can I tell you that I am not handling this very well?  I have not spoken to this woman since Rori’s issue with the law. She said some mean things to me and I just never bothered to mend the fence. Now I am hearing this and have spoken to her since I heard but I feel like I waited for something bad to happen before I made a move.  It is just not a good feeling. 

I also feel like so many people are burdened, even the ones who have not said anything and their names are not on any  prayer list.  It just feels like so much is happening and I am helpless. 

My friend from Memphis is hurting so much. The Franklin’s are hurting.  Kal is hurting and the list goes on and on.

I honestly don’t know how you do it – hearing all of this stuff and still be able to stand up. 

I am even crying for people I don't know in the Philippines, Soldiers who have died, and everything else in between.

I saw your response and burst into tears because I feel like I just added one more thing to your plate and here I am again – adding more.

I know Pastor that God is still God in all of this…I guess I am just sad right now because I feel like I am limited.

He did not join me in the pity party I was having, even though I invited him to it.  What he did say confirmed for me what God was whispering to me.  God gently reminded me of the report source. He asked me "whose report do you believe?"  I was silently crying even as I responded "Yours.  I believe the report of the Lord."  Then came the response from my pastor that sealed the deal, encouraged my heart and quieted the voice of fear and anxiety:

"I feel your pain. 

"Troubled Waters are a Sign of Miracles" whether we are moved to make amends, pray, give, etc. Miracles are sometimes right at our feet but we fail to see it because our vision is blocked by all our circumstances. Just take a moment and push through the crowd to see Jesus and reach out and touch the hem of His garment.

 

The hem is at the feet and speaks of humility which in itself is a miracle for humans but brings favour which brings miracle/miracles. 

Do what the Spirit of God prompts you to do.

 How do I deal with all that God has called me to bare? Trusting Him whole heartedly knowing that He and He alone bore all of the stuff everyone is going through including my stuff and I have to cast "all my cares on Him"  

Please don't feel that you are adding to my burden because I give it over to Him.

 The only time I feel burdens being added is when I see the lost, the backslidden and believers who know what is right and they are not obedient. This burdens God too for often He is grieved by our actions or inaction.

Take heart."

Maybe your circumstances are more or less than mine.  But I believe we all need to know that Troubled Waters are a sign of Miracles and as such we ought to Take Heart.  Be encouraged today, for surely it will not always be this way.

God Bless you.

I am learning

How does a parent watch their child go down a path of destruction and stand aside to allow them to figure it out on their own?  How does a parent stop shielding their child from the cold reality of this world, to allow them to live and function in it?  How does a parent respond to an adult child that says I am starving?  I put these questions out there because I don’t yet have the answers to them.  I am learning and perhaps ten years from today I will be able to respond.  Today, I am not there. 

My son has been living in Calgary, AB since July of this year.  He bought his ticket, one way, and said “Mom, I am moving to Calgary.”  I just realize that I have an empty nest.  While he has been away, I must say I have had to allow him to grow up.  James MacDonald once said that when kids are young, spanking them will not hurt you as much as it does when they are older and you have to watch them making mistakes that you cannot prevent.  That rips your heart out more than anything else.   I took a look at his bank account last week and saw his spending activity.  I saw how he spent money on fast food, clothing, phone repairs and taxi cab.  I took out my phone, ready to give him my unsolicited advice.  I was ready to tell him the folly of his ways.  Wisdom, however, said leave him.  That was hard.

This week I did send him a text.  I call it a breath check.  His answer was unexpected.  His answer broke my heart. 

Mom: “Hi Ror”

Son: “Hi Mom”

Mom: “How are you?”

Son: “Starving, and you?”

Mom: “No food?”

Son: “No.”

 

When I read that, I felt terrible.  I felt like I should have been giving him a top up in his account; I should have taught him the value of a dollar; I should have taught him how to shop for grocery; I should have taught him how to cook; I should have given him better tools for today.  I hurt for him, because I knew that he was not equipped.  I did not equip him for the today that I thought would be much later on – tomorrow maybe.  I wrestled with whether or not it was right to rescue him.  He did not budget and so it led to him being in this predicament.  How was I to help him while still allowing him to face the consequences of his choices?  I eventually decided that I was not going to let him starve today, tomorrow however was up to him.  I gave him a small amount along with some advice that I felt I now had the right to give. 

A friend asked me how I was coping with him being gone. In response I would say only this: “I am learning.”   I am learning, as much as he is, to trust the things I did teach him and to wait for him to come to me for assistance in the things that I didn’t.  I am learning to pray more for him.  I am learning to trust God’s plans for him.  I am learning to surrender him to a Father who loves him from before I knew him.  I am learning that it is definitely true when the bible says faith believes in what you don’t see.  I am learning….

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about what we cannot see. Hebrews 11:1 (NLT)

 

 

 

Choose what is better and it will not be taken away

I walked into my house tonight and immediately I knew I needed to retreat.  The air was heavy with the sounds of tired people that kept going.  My mom was cleaning the kitchen and every move she made was punctuated with a loud hiss of her teeth.  My sister, I suppose in an attempt to help, was banging cleaning supplies around in the bathroom.  I took one look at them, and did what my mind screamed - RETREAT! 

Prior to entering, I was also stewing in my own misery.  I started complaining about my day from last night.  My younger sister called me at 10:30pm to ask me to take her to her physiotherapy session.  In my mind I complained that she didn't give me enough notice; I had a hundred things to do at work; and I hate driving her SUV.  I complained about the project at work I was working on which just made me feel guilty.  God had graciously given me this project as an answer to a prayer for something to do at work. I prayed the night, and the next morning my boss came over and asked me to assist my co-worker.  I was not only miserable but ungrateful. 

I am smiling to myself as I type this because I really was being a brat to myself all day.  I knew exactly what was missing - my retreat time with my wonderful Father.  I needed some time at His feet to set me straight. I needed the Mary seat after being Martha all day long.  If I have lost you, let me catch you up on two sisters who were good friends of Jesus.  Luke wrote:

Luke 10:38-42

New International Version (NIV)

At the Home of Martha and Mary

³⁸ As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. ³⁹ She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. ⁴⁰ But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
⁴¹ “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, ⁴² but few things are needed—or indeed only one.^[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Source: http://www.biblegateway.com

Have you been a little distracted with the tasks you have before you?  Is your calendar full and your days rolling all together as one?  Have you found yourself miserable and just bad company?  Today, there were times I didn't want to be around myself, but thank God for the retreat God invited me to attend.  I didn't leave my house, the sanctuary was  right in my room with some good praise and worship music!  He says to you as well, "Come, have a seat. Listen to what I am saying to you.  Don't be worried or upset.  Choose what is better and it will not be taken away from you."