I Am who God has called me to be

I am all that God has called me to be.  I make this as a statement, not to you, but to myself.  In my 40 years on this earth I have found that I need to be reminded of this truth repeatedly.  Let me show my vulnerability to you so you can better understand.  On Tuesday of this week, I had an opportunity to sing.  I was asked to write a song for the EMBRACE WOMEN AGAINST VIOLENCE program.  No problem!  God gave me the song that very night as I knelt beside my bed.  I practiced it; I was ready for it months in advance.

On the night of the event, my family came out to support me.  It was a big deal. I don’t usually tell them anything of what I am doing.  I suppose I just thought well, it is not a big deal.  For whatever reason, I felt the need to have them with me.  They came.  I was a mess.  ON the inside of me my stomach churned with nervousness.  I felt achy and very much like running.  I dreaded the moment they would call my name to step up and deliver.  I was ready months prior but something happened to me that night and well, it changed me.

I felt like the words to the song really was a message for all to hear. It was in-sync with the videos they showed, the poems they spoke and the dance they performed.  It was truly a confirmation that I saw but it didn’t make the fear go away. As a result I went up to the stage and became so fearful I wasn’t myself.  I forgot the words of the song.  I didn’t engage the audience and I couldn’t wait for It all to be over.  I believed what I was hearing in my mind.  I was not up to par.  It was a lie.  One that I know was a lie, but I did nothing to silence it.  Irony was at its best, as my songs hook said “how will you stay silent?”  I should have commanded my mind to fall in line with the truth of God.  I didn’t.  

God is greater than even our fears.  He used me that night.  I know it because I heard the song being song after I came down.  I went up even when I wanted to run away.  I sang even though I wanted to stay muted.  God used me in my weakest moment.  He used me to bring about His purpose that He had all along.  I forgot that I am His vessel.  I started looking at my abilities and I allowed myself to be tormented and chained when God says daughter, you are free.

I am choked up right now because this is so me.  Is this you too?  The good news is that God is merciful and kind. He extends mercy and favor and compassion and love.  He is my God.  So he gave me a song.  Yes, I find that He speaks to me that way – he sings to me a new song.  The song is a reminder that I am who God has called me to be.  He has filled my mouth with words and I will sing for him because I am all that he calls me to be.

Friends, I know I am not singular in this experience. I know that you are probably like me – forgetting who you ARE IN CHRIST!   However, one day I pray that you will hear from God himself that you are who he has called you to be.  May that need to compare yourself to everyone else disappear as you focus on Him and His truth.