Understand that right now I am writing this down as a way to process things that I don't understand. I am a Mom. Over the last 20 plus years I have more questions than answers. I have felt inadequate more times than I care to think about. I have made thousands of mistakes and some have been far reaching into my today. I would love to say that I am an expert at this but for me the challenges are even more intense and I am at a loss as to how to overcome. I did say that I am writing this as a way to process and so I hope you understand. I just need God to show me how to swim in these deep waters. I can't swim in life much less this metaphoric illustration. I'm not sure what to do and for the most part I wish I could back to the yesterday of day one with my son. I would have done some things different and some things I would have kept the same.
I have had this conversation before and God's answer has been the same. Let him go.
This post is the evidence that I am not being obedient. I am struggling to do this but the cost is tears and more heart ache. Let him go.
This without doubt is the answer that brings the peace that I so desperately desire right now.
LET HIM GO.
Lord, hear my cry. Oh Lord show me the way that leads not to destruction but to Life. Open my eyes God to your truth. Lord show me how to let him go. You are his safety net and I need to move out of the way of your purpose in this process.
If you can, will you pray for me as I pray for you too.
Sunday, August 30, 2015
Without Vision We Perish
If I asked you right now to describe your vision, what would you say? Would you blurt out your heart or would you pause wondering yourself what it is? This morning in church I was of the latter response group. I stumbled in my mind over the word vision. It became even more difficult when the Pastor said vision has been translated as a word from God, a prophetic word, a revelation. I had nothing that immediately came to mind. It worked me some because I know that without vision I would go astray. I know some might say I am being dramatic. Yet it is not that at all. This word caused me to examine myself and where I am heading in life. What am I looking ahead to and how dies my life fit into God's purpose for me? Think about it for a minute. Every successful company has a vision. I just want mine to be what God has given to me. By the end of the sermon God reminded me of a picture I saw in my mind's eyes of myself. I was spinning around in a field with a bag of seeds in my hand. I threw them around me and I seemed to be so happy. It was like it was someone else but yet it was me. I was like a young girl again and for a moment I wondered if maybe it was my daughter. No matter I knew then that God gives us the vision. He is the One that has called us and He is the One that will bring about His purpose. So here I am in my Sunday best having a tea and talking to God on the McCafe patio. I'm saying to Him I don't understand it at all but I am willing to do it all. Friends let's ask God for that vision and then release it to Him.
Thursday, August 13, 2015
Intimacy with God
Into Me See. Intimacy has been described as such and I believe that even for today it is fitting. The bible tells us that God knows us. He is intimate with us. I looked at different definitions of this word so I can grasp what it means to say God is Intimate with us. One person defines it as being in each other's mind. Another says it means close, loyal, faithful. Yes, God is intimate with us. He knows our thoughts. He is faithful. He is close. He is loyal. He is intimate.
God sees into us. He sees the core, like the inside of an apple. He sees the good and the bad. David marvelled at this saying, it is too much for him to even comprehend it all.
My friends, while God is initmate with us, I wonder if we in turn are intimate with Him. You see, and I have heard it said before, initmacy is a two way interaction. He has already made the first step. From before time began His heart was for us. Now I believe that he stretches his hands to us and says, won't you come? My eyes tear up as I can imagine Him saying "Talk to me. Just talk to me". (Yolanda Adams). No more hiding my friends. No more running away. It is time to draw near to Him. It is time to enhance; discover; seek out intimacy with God.
If you dont know where to start or even what to say, how about repeating the Psalmist. It is a good place to begin the journey of intimacy with God:
God sees into us. He sees the core, like the inside of an apple. He sees the good and the bad. David marvelled at this saying, it is too much for him to even comprehend it all.
My friends, while God is initmate with us, I wonder if we in turn are intimate with Him. You see, and I have heard it said before, initmacy is a two way interaction. He has already made the first step. From before time began His heart was for us. Now I believe that he stretches his hands to us and says, won't you come? My eyes tear up as I can imagine Him saying "Talk to me. Just talk to me". (Yolanda Adams). No more hiding my friends. No more running away. It is time to draw near to Him. It is time to enhance; discover; seek out intimacy with God.
If you dont know where to start or even what to say, how about repeating the Psalmist. It is a good place to begin the journey of intimacy with God:
Psalm 139 NIV (Biblegateway.com)
For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
1 You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.
19 If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord,
and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord,
and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)