Understand that right now I am writing this down as a way to process things that I don't understand. I am a Mom. Over the last 20 plus years I have more questions than answers. I have felt inadequate more times than I care to think about. I have made thousands of mistakes and some have been far reaching into my today. I would love to say that I am an expert at this but for me the challenges are even more intense and I am at a loss as to how to overcome. I did say that I am writing this as a way to process and so I hope you understand. I just need God to show me how to swim in these deep waters. I can't swim in life much less this metaphoric illustration. I'm not sure what to do and for the most part I wish I could back to the yesterday of day one with my son. I would have done some things different and some things I would have kept the same.
I have had this conversation before and God's answer has been the same. Let him go.
This post is the evidence that I am not being obedient. I am struggling to do this but the cost is tears and more heart ache. Let him go.
This without doubt is the answer that brings the peace that I so desperately desire right now.
LET HIM GO.
Lord, hear my cry. Oh Lord show me the way that leads not to destruction but to Life. Open my eyes God to your truth. Lord show me how to let him go. You are his safety net and I need to move out of the way of your purpose in this process.
If you can, will you pray for me as I pray for you too.
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