One Step At A Time

 I read recently that the steps of a good man are ordered by God and that He delights in all his ways. It goes on to say that if this man falls that God will help him up. 

For me, these words bring comfort and encouragement. Why? Well on this up and down journey to lose weight, and feel great I love having a step by step coach. 

I was overwhelmed with the big picture view before me. I constantly resisted planning dinner at breakfast. I've been frustrated with the plans I made for the week going awry with my self appointed "leftover eater"  job title. 

Excercise was always in the plan but work and health wrecked every good intention.  Am I complaining? A little. 

However, I realize it's okay to not be perfect. It's okay to get up again even after falling numerous times. It's okay to ask for help - divine help. 

So I am leaning into this verse from Psalm 37. Step by step God orders and establishes a plan of success for me.  One meal at a time. One movement at a time. Good enough for this girl.

Heavenly Father, I thank you for your direction. I am unable to do this solo. Obviously, I am not good at leading myself. I praise you for helping me up every time I fall. Into your hands I commit this diet for health Strength and wealth in Jesus name Amen.  

They that Wait (Hope and Trust) in the Lord Shall Renew Their Strength

I don't know about anyone else but this year, make that years, have been hard.

I know that I am not isolated in this as much as I wish that were the case.  I wish that everyone else was missing the hardships and trials that life seemed intent to bring to our doorsteps.  Is this is a gift we can return?  I could sit here wishing away all the world's troubles but that will never do anything but cause me more despair.

Instead, today I write in the midst of my "going through" as a way to encourage myself and perhaps you too.  I called upon the Lord in my weakness and he answered me. I prayed earnestly for strength and He answered me.  Now, the answer may surprise you, as it certainly did me.  His answer was not the supernatural injection of "PowerAde"; it was not the taking away of the problems in my life; it was a word - make that two words to be exact.

Hope. Wait.  

Hope was easy to swallow.  Hope was so positive. It was hopeful and gave me added reason to get up in the morning.  I felt like the break through would be my testimony after just a few more sleeps. I was hopeful that the mourning period was on a timeline that had an expected end.  Joy was in the morning!

Hope. Hope. Hope.  Hope in the Lord.  Why be downcast oh my soul?  Hope is alive and springs eternal!  The diet of tears was going to be quickly replaced with laughter and joy.  When they ask where is your God?  I will simply say my hope is in God.  Tada!!!!  The Grande finale achieved.  Yet, it didn't or rather hasn't exactly happened like that.

Wait.  This word came after the calendar pages flipped over and the expected end was not yet mine. I knew that he was directing me to the prophetic words of Isaiah that says strength is given to those who wait on the Lord.  Wait and be powered up.  Wait and be renewed.  Wait and again I say wait on the Lord.

My heart meditated on these words.  I went to bed saying them and woke up with them.  Wait on the Lord, you shall renew your strength.  Wait I say.  They that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength.  I couldn't shake it and I suppose I was not really trying to do so.  I wanted that promised strength.  No.  Let me amend that; I need that promised strength.

So here I am - Hoping and Waiting.  Here I am being encouraged with prayer and song as God sends me winks of reminders.  It has been a verse repeated, or a song sang by a friend.  Strength is from God.  I have no might and am quite powerless in my own abilities.  However, in my weakness and in yours, His strength is made perfect.  Hope.  Wait.  We will not be disappointed.

Come to Me ...and I will give you rest

 Come to Me.

This is an open invitation to all of us - all who believe that God is God; all who are weary and heavy laden; all who are so tired of being tired; all who live and breathe are invited to COME.  

These days, we don't have many invitations that are open.  In this era of social distancing and pandemic hysteria we have more cancellations than anything else.  No-one really wants to have company over for fear of finding themselves having an unwanted guest trying to move in permanently - that dreaded virus and his friends.

However, Jesus, when he extended that invitation in Matthew 11:28 is not cancelling on us.  His door remains open and His arms are strong enough to hold you up.  Come.  That word is also a command.  It really does require a response.  You and I need to decide if we will move towards Him.  To move from our place of unrest into Him that is our rest.

To Me.  I love that Jesus was not sending us to anyone else.  He offers Himself as the source that is unlimited.  He is the very thing we need - REST.  He says "I will give you rest"  and we can trust Him to do just that for us.  

We can echo David, as he wrote My soul finds rest in God alone, my salvation is from Him..  He alone is my rock and my salvation.  I will never be shaken.  (Psalm 62 - paraphrased).

So, say yes to the invitation.  He will give you rest.

2021 STARTING POINT: WHAT IS YOUR INTENTION?

What is your intention for 2021?  No, not a new year's resolution that we make with no "intention" of keeping.  Be honest with yourself if not me today.  You know the ones we make every year and we never actually follow through with them - lose weight, read the bible cover to cover, be more intentional in building relationship with so and so.  Shall I go on?  Instead of rewording the same list from the year before, I am asking you to dig deeper and to pray harder. 

This week, the golden text for devotion was based on Proverbs 17:3 which says "the refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold, but the Lord test the heart".  

As I thought about this verse I realize that God, through his refiner's fire, intends to draw out the impurities in our lives.  He stands at the mouth of the furnace, as Spurgeon says, and carefully tends to us, skimming away the dross. He intends for us to be like pure gold that can only be achieved through heated flames.  The hotter the fire, the purer the gold.  

You may ask, what does this have to do with "my intentions"?  In the midst of trials and testing we may be tempted to give up.  We don't like to experience hardships or to endure anything that will stretch us to the limit.  However, as we set our intentions out before the Lord, who directs our paths, we know that there will be testing.  We do not want to deceive ourselves into thinking other wise.  The encouragement is to understand that God is the one testing and God is the one that is helping us to pass the test.  Hallelujah! 

Job says after he has tested me I will come forth as pure gold (Job 23).  After we have suffered for a little while, the God of grace...will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you. (1 Peter 5:10, NASB).  It's the Lord.  Your intentions are known to Him as He knows your heart and He is faithful to help you.  As we are tested and refined, what happens is that our intentions become what His intentions were for us all along.  Somewhere along the line we become aligned to Him and can truly say Not my will but thy will be done in and through me.

So, get out the pen pencil and whatever paper you can.  Ask God to test your heart and reveal to you His intentions for you in 2021.

AND THIS CHRISTMAS WILL BE...

 And so this is Christmas, and what shall we do?  This year, 2020, is not to be forgotten.  I know many of us want to pack it up and throw it out with the empty boxes in the nearest recycling bin.  However, I have a different proposal.  What if we instead look at it more closely, with pen and paper in hand, ready to take the notes of the things we have learnt about ourselves and others?  What if this Christmas, with mask and lock downs is the perfect time to show others that you remember them and you care?

In church this morning, my pastor talked about walking in service to God and others even as we face the impossible.  It was a reminder not to cease or become weary in the doing of good.  There is something we can do to help bring some good to someone else.  there is a neighbour that might just appreciate a box of chocolate or just a card with a heartfelt message of hope.  Maybe,  you have an extra bag of rice or flour and can spare to give it to another.  

You can still serve even when the prayers are unanswered (at least in your mind) and you don't know about your tomorrow.  You can shine your light so bright in your corner of the world so that others can see and worship the Father in heaven. It is possible that this Christmas you can be the gift, wrapped by God and given to others as a blessing.  It is possible that this Christmas is a call to shift our focus from what we don't have in our world to all that we do have, being recipients of God's favor.

Listen to me, this is not to trivialize or make light of anything you are now experiencing.  It is not easy and I am pretty sure that you may want to do anything but shine - twinkling lights or inner glow.  However, don't get stuck there.  God looks for those that will remain faithful even in the barrenness of  their lives.  He is "outmatched in His faithfulness" and will open the door of "provision and miracles"  in our lives as we avail ourselves to Him.

So, you decide how you will finish the title.  It is your choice really how it will end.  Let me remind you once again, of the lyric we have sung a time or two "And this Christmas will be...."

Merry Christmas.

Your Will Be Done

 "...Our Father in heaven, Hallowed be Your name.

Your kingdom come.  Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven."  (Matthew 6:9-10).

These words are not unfamiliar to many.  It is the Our Father prayer that Jesus taught the disciples in response to them asking him to teach them how to pray.  I wondered for the first time about the words Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.  

For sure Jesus, who was praying to God the Father, was making it clear that the will to be done was not that of man's or the devil's but of God the Father.  It was not debatable or with room for many interpretations.  The will of the Father is the only will to be done.  

Now this might be easy to say in prayer if we want to be flip and robotic.  However, when we are sincere and truthful we realize that our own will surfaces to choke the words we are taught to say.  We are born willful and so to bend to the will of anyone else is hard at times for us.  

Jesus established that God's will was already being done in heaven.  Heaven represented the perfect, unchallenged, fully obeyed and revered will of God.  Earth, stained with sin and ruled by the prince of this age, challenged God's will.  However, the earth belongs to God and all the inhabitants within it.  His will will be done regardless of whether we are willing or not.  

The truth is that we cannot do it "My way" without bearing the consequences of that choice. Let us not be like Jonah who heard the voice of God and decided to do what he thought was better.  He ended up in the belly of a large fish, and had caused loss and anguish for those that were innocent of his decision.  I don't dare throw stones his way as I have done just as much.  

What we don't remember is that our very lives at such a time as this is in fact His will being  done.  Think about it for a second; You are the will of God here on earth.  You, born whenever, living wherever and looking however is apart of the will of God.  

God never makes mistakes and you and I being formed by Him are not the exception to that truth.  Therefore, we can see with fresh eyes our purpose here on earth - Ambassadors, Agents, Witnesses. The name we call it doesn't matter.  We are His masterpiece and as Jesus taught us, we should pray for His will to be done on earth through us and in us as it is in heaven.

That's fine

My grandson Rilley says things that often times has me laughing or in wonder at his wit.  He is three and had a recent encounter with his Dad.  To me it was the writing on the wall.  Okay, let me stop being so dramatic and get to the point.

Rilley asked his Dad to bathe him.  Unfortunately, his Dad was unable to do so as he was at that moment leaving the house.  The UBER was at the door and my son was not going to be able to do as requested.  So he tried telling Rilley that this was not possible.  Of course try reasoning with a three year old that already has their mind set on something.  

The pleading and begging was in full effect.  Neither one was about to back down from their stance.  I was thinking that the time it was taking to settle each one could have seen to the bathing and dressing of the child.  Finally, my son was asking for a hug so he could assuage his conscience and leave in peace.

Unfortunately he met his match.  Rilley was having no part in this attempt to say sorry (if that is what it was anyway).  He refused to hug him and instead said that's fine Daddy!  That's fine!!!  He would not budge and the back and forth began again.

"Rilley come give me hug good bye!"

"No Daddy, that's fine!" 

So it went on for a few minutes until I reminded my son of the waiting cab.

When he left we (my mom, sisters and I) stood around and just looked at each other.  How could this little thing born just a few years ago be so willful in holding onto his hurt and be so determined to not give his Dad he wanted?  How could his Dad not cancel the UBER and give his son a bath? 

I saw the writing on the wall...Time moves quickly and little boys become men quicker than we would like them to be.  No one has to teach us to hold our grudges; no one has to teach us to be selfish and willful.  We are born like that.  The echo of Rilley's "That's fine" was a testimony of the sin nature we have been born into and how badly we need Jesus.  We need him because truth is we are not fine.  Rilley was not fine and fell into a fitful sleep with his unwashed body. 

Just as he needed a bath we need a cleansing from our Father.  The good thing is this, He will always say to us "That's fine"  and cleanse us willingly.  We will never catch Him off guard nor will He ever be unwilling when we ask for Him to "bathe" us.  

God, please make us clean from the stain of sin.  Please help us to never look to men for our help but to You.  Lord you are what we need.  Thank you for the blood of Jesus that removes all our filth and leaves us with a newness that is beyond compare. In Jesus name, Amen.

Time to take a stance

Everyone is talking about it.

You cannot live in 2020 and not hear of it.  If you, like me, are detached from the media (social or otherwise), you will still hear about it and even engage in conversations about it.  It is that pervasive.  In fact just today someone sent me a video that had a different spin on things.  It was a white lady stating that she was not white but black - just really lightened.  To be fair, I stopped listening after that comment so not sure if she redeemed herself after that comment.  I said to my friend who wanted to "educate" me that I am not sure I am in agreement with that comment.  She said, It's true and people need to know the truth.

I always hear that line from "A few good men" : You can't handle the truth!  The issue on race has blanketed the COVID19 pandemic.  It cries out for attention and demands change from every person.  I am a woman of colour and this unveiling of truth has been hard to handle. I am a mother, a sister and a friend of black men and boys.  My grandson is bi-racial and it hurts me to think of a future where his crime is being black.  I get it and yes I feel it deeply.

However, what stance am I taking?  It is time to take a stance - one way or another - but what should that stnace be?  What should I be lining up behind?  What is the message I want to add my voice to in this time of racial upheaval and a viral pandemic?

I stand for truth.  I stand for love.  I stand for righteousness.  I stand for Christ.  I stand for lending a hand and giving without holding back.  I stand for all lives matter - black, white and every other shade, however they identify themselves.  I am taking a stance.  I will not be moved.

For the woman with Karen Proudlove Brown

For the woman who has not yet realized that she is more than rubies, diamonds and pearls I pray that today you will know that you are in the eyes of God.

My friend, Rev Karen Proudlove Brown (inserted just below) in our theme of Celebrating Motherhood brought a beautiful poem to the group. She in fact said these words that resonated within me...God Knows. 

God knows all about you woman. He knows your sorrows and will be with you to the end.  So be encouraged today and every other day woman.  God knows.

Prayer about Fear

As I laid upon my bed, fitfully "resting", I had to confess that I was afraid.  I had again awakened to pain in my body that remains unexplained.  My sister, my friend's sister and my church sister's sister have all been diagnosed with some sort of cancer.  This is always in the back of my mind even after the CA125 blood test I did, came back negative for that diagnosis.  Still, I often ask mentally, why do I feel so unlike myself?  What is happening to this body of mine that used to be pain free?  Now, it is a nightly invasion to my sleep and a great annoyance to me - pain, in case you wondered.

I woke up this morning to the same pattern and have found  a prayer I wrote months ago.

It was another time that I was feeling particularly scared.  I don't recall what the issue was but I do know that the prayer is still relevant to me today.  I believe that this prayer is also for you.  Whatever is behind the mask of fear in your life, will not be able to dwell there upon the enforced word of God.  So, will you pray with me please?


Our Father,
Fear is not of You, rather You tell us "Do not fear for I am with you.  You promised to uphold me with your righteous right hand.  Father, you said to be anxious for nothing but in every situation prayer is my access key to your provision.  Lord, it gives me your transcending peace.  I thank you that this peace is not given only to be taken away.  You don't give as the world gives and for that I am so grateful.  I therefore do not have to worry or be afraid.  God, fear is not mine to keep or take.  You gave me power love and a sound mind.  Lord, when I am afraid I put my trust in you.  Your perfect love will drive out all my fears.  Lord, I pray that I will focus on kind words so that my heart will not be weighed down by anxious thoughts.
Father, I will not continue to worry about tomorrow which has not yet arrived.  I will instead refocus my mind to stay upon You.  Lord I remember that you will never leave me; you will fight for me.  Lord you said do not fear just Believe.  Lord, nothing separates me from your love.  Nothing in this life or in death, not today's fear or tomorrow's worries.  Nothing in Heaven or hell will separate me from you in Jesus name.  Lord please quiet me within.  Let your love wash over me as you continue to rejoice over me with shouts of joy.

In Jesus' name,
Amen.

He is God and He's Good

A song to encourage your heart.

He is God and He's Good by Yolando Robinson

Even when you go through the fire
God is still good
Even when you can't see how He's working
God is still good

Even in the pain and the rain is pouring
God is still good
Even when you're hurt and you're feeling lonely
God is still good

Chorus:
He is LORD of everything
He is GOD of all the earth
He is FAITHFUL ever true
He is God and He's good



I hope you sing this with hearts open to hear His voice. The lyrics are available for you but allow God's Holy Spirit to guide you with the melody.  Be encouraged my friend, because He is God and He's good.

GOD IS STILL GOOD

Two months ago, March 2020, when the world strained under the uncertainty of a tomorrow and fear rose up to cause even the strongest to be a little shaken, I wrote a song.  As I wrote it, I  reminded myself that God is still God.  I reminded myself that He is still good.

When I read through the bible, I see that this earth has been shaken before.  If I go all the way back to the days of Noah, we find that the death toll literally wiped out the population of the Earth.  Everyone was literally washed away from the face of the earth, with the exception of Noah and his family.  His life was spared because in the midst of all the evil, that was the virus of the day, he was righteous in the eyes of God.  He was obedient even when everyone else thought he was a maniac. I mean, who even understood the concept of rain from the sky that would cause a great flood?  They had never seen that before.  Isn't that familiar and relatable to today?  Death tolls in the thousands across the World, wiped out by a virus we have never seen before.  Some people may be tempted to ignore and dismiss God even with the evidence of His existence right before their eyes.  He is still God in spite of their unbelief.

As I said there are so many people who endured so much before we even existed to show us how to stand in the days of trials and great hardship.  I think of men like David, whose life was threatened time and time again because of the jealousy, greed and pride of others.  I can consider  Job, the servant of the Lord that lost everything as God tested and refined him. I think of  Jeremiah the prophet who endured so much to do the work of his master as it was like fire in his bones that could only be quenched by his obedience.  I think of Daniel and the three Hebrew boys, Peter, Paul, Silas, Stephen,  James, John, John the Baptist and so many more.  For some, relief was as swift as a walk accross to bring recuse and calm the storm.  For others, the time of suffereing was long and hard with seemingly no earthly relief under the soverignty of God. Yet, God is still God.

It didn't matter what they went through, poverty, beatings, sickness, mocking jeering and even unto their own death, they maintained that God's deity didn't change.  He was never less than God.  They were still awed by His enormity.  They still reverenced and adored Him.  They still served Him and worshipped Him.  God was still God for them.

I believe that we can take that lesson and apply it to our everyday.  It feels like these days will not end and it is fair to ask where is God?  I don't think He minds us being honest and unmasked before Him.  However, I am encouraged that He is still Himself -  unshaken by these days and still the rock and salvation upon which we can stand our ground.  He has not diminished in His power and greatness.  He is still God; still secure, still faithful, still merciful, still trustworthy, and still able.  Yes, let your heart be stout and enduring as you hold fast to the truth of this word - God is still God.

Because You Carried Me

We celebrate this weekend, May 10,2020, Mother's Day.  It is not an easy time for some who are scarred and fragile when it comes to their mother, being a mother or never having but wanting to be a mother.  For others, it is a time celebrated with gifts and hugs and kisses.  Kids do their best art and moms coo and gush as if Davinci himself gave them a masterpiece made just for them.  We celebrate motherhood.

I have had the opportunity to sit in and even be a presenter for five days of exploring and expanding on the theme of "Because You Carried Me. Celebrating Motherhood."  It is in this forum of discussions I was reminded and learnt that we have something to celebrate no matter what our relationship is with our own mothers.  If she did nothing else worthy she carried you.  She laboured and delivered you when she could have opted out.  She could have chosen to abort and she did not.  She carried you to term and gave birth even when this world would have said to her, "it is alright if you don't.  It is after all your life, your body and your choice."   So there is a reason to celebrate.  You are the life that has been produced.

In addition to that, I can better appreciate Mothers who had to wait for a long time to even see the fruit of their prayers. Moms like Hanna who was barren but prayed without ceasing even while enduring the mocking jeers of her sister wife.  She was a mom who kept her vow to the Lord and gave her only son at that time back to the Lord.  We christen our children and we commit them to God but then we take them back to raise on our own and in futility.  We can learn from her life and her enduring spirit as well as her promise keeping example.  Moms like Jochebed, the mother of Moses, who made the choice to save her son however she could.  She gave birth to a beautiful boy but in a time of persecution for all Hebrew baby boys born.  She made a basket and placed him in a river where he was rescued by Pharaoh's daughter.  She found him and knew that he was not of her people but yet, she carried him into her home and her heart.  She called him her own and gave him what she had - the protection of her station and life when so many others died.  We can celebrate all the step moms and foster moms and spiritual moms and moms that are simply women who are in your life bearing and laboring with you.

Most importantly, we understand that God has carried us all along.  Oh, He is likened unto a mother hen that beckons her chicks to come under her wings. There they find warmth and protection.  The hen bonds with that chick before they hatch and they know her voice.  GOD has called us from the womb, named us and carries us.  We can celebrate because He has carried us; carried us when the Devil that dragon, wants to kill us after we have laboured and delivered.  He prepares a place of refuge for us and brings us to it when we are tired and vulnerable or rested and vibrant.  God has and is carrying us - all the way to the end.

I Am Willing

I am willing!

I am  willing
To do anything
As in all things
But  did I  say  everything?

I am  willing
To do what is  beyond  me
Beyond  my imagination
Cannot even  comprehend  it
Don't have the skills
To even tell you
How I'd do it
Kind of willing

I am  willing
To do it  all
For the sake of  the call
Called by name
To stand  to serve to see
Called  by  the  King of  Kings and the Lord of  Lords
I am willing

I am willing
From me He will  always get a yes
From me there will be no arguments
No back talks or reason why
Because like I said
I am willing

I am willing
To lay it all down
My pride my will
So I can take up my cross
To  follow Christ Jesus
My Lord
I am willing

But God

My Pastor, Ron Binda, in a recent "virtual sermons, asked the question, "Who has the final say?  We know the answer and we sing the songs "Jehovah has the final say!"  Jehovah has the final word on all things, as much as we would like to believe otherwise.  Jehovah - not me and not you.  Jehovah.

He reminded us that whether we are in the pit or the palace as Joseph found himself, there was a final say that was spoken by God.  God always has a plan and according to the word, it will not be undone.  His WORD will be fulfilled and His will be done here on earth as it is in Heaven.

In fact, He is the But that keeps calamity and destruction and death from having its way in our lives.  You see, when evil shows up and is ready to bring us down in the pit or to imprison us for life there is a BUT GOD that cannot be denied.  But God's mercy is rich and full and available to those who are His.  But God is why we are not consumed. But God causes us to be undefeated.  But God meant it for good even the though the enemy meant it for good.  "But God"  makes us able to stand upright even in the storm.

You should have been dead - but God.  You should have lost your mind - but God.  You should be a hot mess - but God!

Rejoice and be glad for the BUT GOD in our lives!

These are the days

These are the days when...

Phrases like social distance is commonly used from juniors to seniors.

Zoom is the choice of millions who are now thrust into a virtual world for church and meetings.

Coughing can get you killed as it did for a man in Jamaica.

Death tolls are in the millions and climbing.

Washing hands is now not just a suggestion but mandatory to save lives.

Cash is rejected and card is accepted.

Clubs and resorts are closed but the LCBO remains open.

Domestic abuse is on the rise but crime is down.

Schools have closed their doors but the cyber class rooms are now opened.

Working from home is not a perk but  mandated.

Everyone has a solution and propaganda is passed on from one person to the next.

Hospitals are out of beds, masks and ventilators.

Fear and anxiety stifles hope and peace.

These are the days.

Zephaniah wrote thousands of years ago these words from the Lord:

"I will bring distress on men, so that they will walk like blind men.  Because they have sinned against the Lord, their blood  will be poured out like dust and their flesh like dung.  Neither their silver nor their gold will be able to deliver them on the day of the Lord's wrath.  But the whole earth will be consumed by the fire of His jealousy, for He will make a sudden end of all those who dwell on  the earth."  (Zep 1:17-19).

These words tell me that God is in charge of us.  He is a Holy God and in these days it is evident that we are not in control of anything.  Everything that we relied upon, that we expected to continue is laid to dust before us.  As bodies fill the graves, money means nothing.  Kings and princes  are equal to peasants and commoners.  No one can escape.  No one can save themselves.  These days are a foreshadow of what is to come - the Great and Terrible Day of the Lord that Zephaniah prophesied about - days that look so close to these days it shakes me.

These are the days to repent and know our God.  These are the days to return with wailing and in humility.  "Seek the Lord, all you humble of the land, who carry out His judgment.  Seek righteousness, seek humility.  Perhaps you will be hidden on the day of the Lord's anger." (Zep 2.3).

These are the days....

If I knew Then What I know Now

I am sitting here at my dining room table with the light streaming through the windows and the sheer curtains.  I am sitting here missing my brother and my sister in law, my grand-niece, grandson and aunt.  I am sitting here and thinking if I knew that today was going to be like this, I would have done things differently.

Today, I, like the rest of the world, is on lock down because a virus known as COVID19.  This will mark the history books and has changed the way we do things prior to 2020. The visits we took for granted, the hugs, the kisses, the fellowship all are now a "no no" in our COVID19 world.

It makes me think I should have hugged my family and friends a lot more.  I should have had that coffee with my friend.  I should have gone to lunch.  I should have taken the time to do more with the people that mattered to me the most.  I should have kissed the cheeks of my little students who I love more than I realized.  If only I knew then what I know now.

So, lesson learnt to myself.  I will not miss opportunities for contact.  I will take the time to spend with those I love and lean to love those I struggle with right now.  I know now and will no longer have the ignorance as my excuse.  I will not go back to my social distancing but will draw even closer.  I never know what will happen tomorrow - no one knows.  However, I can take advantage of what I know today. I know now and so do you.

Why do you weep?

I don't know why I am already tearing up without even touching the keys my heart feels full.  I feel the need to lie in my bed and weep. The why I cannot quite figure out and really wish I could explain to myself if not to anyone else. 

Why do you weep Engada? 

This is a new year, with a new day full of God's new mercies.  I am able to stand in the liberty that still remains through Christ Jesus.  I am able to rest in the arms of God that is still able to uphold me. I have an eternal invitation to come boldly before the creator of Heaven and Earth who receives me 24/7.  I am blessed and not cursed beyond measure. 

So why do I weep?  Why does my soul feel sorrowful within me? 

At this moment, I say to my soul, do not despair. Consider the things you do have and bemoan no longer what is not yet or may never be your for Father knows best.

Instead, I say to my soul "wait silently on God alone."  David said it best as he encouraged himself and his people in Psalm 62:1-2, 5-8

I do not need to continue to dress for this pity party of one that plans to add nothing but tears of sorrow to my day - to my year.  God is still God and I am still His.

If by chance you are here and have felt this inexplicable moment of 'sadness' be likewise encouraged by David's psalm - be unshakeable and expect from Him what He has promised. though it tarries wait upon the Rock and Salvation.  He is trustworthy!

Psalm 62

Psalm 61Psalm 63

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To Jeduthun. A Psalm of David. 62 Truly my soul silently waits for God; From Him comes my salvation. 2 He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my [a]defense; I shall not be greatly moved.[b]   5 My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my [c]expectation is from Him. 6 He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be [d]moved. 7 In God is my salvation and my glory; The rock of my strength, And my refuge, is in God. 8 Trust in Him at all times, you people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. Selah

Happy New Year

In case I forget to say this later, let me begin with Happy New Year!

As I look at those three words strung together I see them each individually.  Happy. New.  Year.

Happy.  If we examine this word from any dictionary we would see meanings such as "feeling or showing pleasure or contentment".  It is "having a sense of confidence or satisfaction in or with something or someone". Happy is a word used to describe a moment - a feeling.  We have sang about it in many ways and over the many decades this world has existed. Smiley face - happy.  Frown face - not happy.

New.  I would summarize it in just a few words - Not old.  Fresh. Never before seen or experienced.  Brand new.  We understand that clearly as most of us have been so blessed to be the owner of something "brand new" - not formerly used by anyone else.  We have had things, ideas thoughts etc that are for us new; never heard of before - never tried - never seen.  New.  

Year. In our world, a year is a passing through of twelve months.  More than that it represents time.  it represents days, weeks, months.  It holds within it an accumulation of seconds minutes and hours that all pass into the next and the next to complete the cycle.  A year - a framed time.  A year - expectations bundled up in the next 365 days that will stamp what was done or not done.  A year. 

In light of this, I would like to really ask you to choose what 2020 will be for you.  It offers to us the possibilities to be satisfied and content.  Paul said I have learnt (emphasis on the word learnt) how to be content in whatever state he finds himself.  Choose also to be contented my friends.  Choose to be happy regardless of what you face. 

Choose to go into 2020 with an openness for new experiences.  You have never lived those days before.  Remember God took the people of Israel to a place they had never been before.  He gave them new experiences, opened their eyes to things they had never before imagined.  He fed them manna from heaven and parted the Red Sea.  God is able to do for you new things if you are willing.

Choose to see the calendar as days of wonder.  Let it be a time span for the greatness of God to be manifested and experienced.

Happy New Year.  Hallelujah!

Joy Comes In the Morning

Today a friend of mine has returned to her Caribbean island to bury her son.  This Christmas was marked with the sorrow of his death - gone way too soon.  She sits today, dressed in the color of royalty, a beautiful royal blue, burying a prince that should have aged to maturity but never did and never will. 

Her story is not unlike other mothers who have lost children; the pain that she feels mirrors that of any mom who has lost a beloved child. The mercy of her story is that he got a chance to say Mom I love you and I am sorry.  He was given breath before death to make it right with Jesus, so today the mourning is with hope.  She weeps with a promise of a tomorrow that will come to all of us.

He was a young man with a future that God said was filled with hope and prosperity.  Yet, he followed his cousin to an event that led to his death.  Gun shots that claimed his cousin's life months before also claimed the life of Sterphion Gilbert.  He never knew that day when he went against the sage advise of his mom that his life would end soon after.  A bullet was lodged in his neck, paralyzing him from the neck down.  He needed a miracle as doctors could not do anything for him.

For months he suffered.  His family suffered.  They were wearied and I believe that God was merciful and kind in taking him home. He got his house in order...he gave his life into the hands of God.  He made peace with the ones he loved.  He rests now in peace with Christ. 

There is therefore now no condemnation as he is in Christ. He has been ushered from his sorrow into joy.  On the day he died, he experienced his joy that comes with the morning. 

So even now, as those left behind mourn his loss, Sterphion sees the king.  Today he is in the better land and if we remain in Christ we will all see him again as our brother.  It is true, weeping endures only for a night and Joy comes in the morning.


Father, remember the family and friends of Sterphion who mourn in this season of his death. May they be comforted by your hands today and in the days ahead I pray in Jesus name.

Amen.