I'm Thankful

In the USA, many families are preparing to have dinner together to celebrate THANKSGIVING!  Usually this is the time when we start reflecting on what we have and what we are thankful for having or not having.  I wish, that we did this daily. I wish we took an inventory of our blessings and gave thanks to our Father in Heaven.  I wish we didn't wait for a party or a day but where we lived a life that was filled with gratitude.

My friend, Jodi, feels the same way.  She wrote this to me today:

It’s Wednesday…. Hump Day (who came up w/this I don’t know) – 2 more days left for some and for others it’s Thanksgiving Break!

 I am thankful for the opportunity to own a home and by the Grace of God maintain it. I am thankful for:

        i.            the vehicle I drive

      ii.            family and good friends

    iii.            an amazing church family

    iv.            food on the table

      v.            money for the wants (the things we things we just have to have, but really don’t need the majority of the time – a caffeinated beverage, piece of clothing etc. etc.) – More saving is on the horizon.

    vi.            Health and strength. So many are going through a lot, and though I need to lose weight, I am thankful there are not pressing health issues affecting me.

  vii.            The ability to work, to walk, to see, to speak, and feel ……

viii.            The ability to read, to travel, to eat and smell

     ix.            For the ability to take care of my father…. Though frustrations or better yet annoyances may arise J - I am so thankful I am able to take him to his varied doctor’s visits etc. I see so many who are left alone, not able to answer the questions being asked, or sitting there for hours at a time waiting on a family member to pick them up.

       x.          Dad and the fact he remembers family members names, though his dementia will increase as times goes on… He is able to exercise (he doesn’t saunter might I add…. It’s literally speed walking), he bathes and dresses himself and he is just dad/Grandpa Lloyd/LG/Sam/Uncle Lloyd or Uncle Sam/. Lloyd Gardner as he says with pride when he meets someone new.

     xi.        An amazing sister and what she brings to the family.

   xii.      Everything small, large and in between and the many freedoms we have.

She prompted this thanksgiving party for me.  I am thankful for this life I have been living. I get to live this life out, when so many others have been buried along the way.  I am thankful that I have been blessed to give birth to a son that I love and treasure so very much.  I am thankful that I have this amazing family that surrounds me and supports me and loves me. 

Now, I turn the floor over to you.  What are you thankful for?  Isn't it time to take stock of what you have been blessed to have, feel, do, or not have, not feel and not do?

Let us be thankful always!

Troubled Waters are a Sign of Miracles

I am going to share with you the comfort God gave me through an email from my pastor (I thank God for him).  I was feeling very burdened by the weight of family and friends who are going through diverse issues. My friend in Memphis continues to find it hard adjusting to life with a baby that is born with medical issues.  My son's grand-mother in Florida is battling cancer. My sister is still struggling through almost 3years of back pain that has made her disabled.  The people in the Philippines have suffered such a great loss from a Typhoon they named Yolanda. Soldiers have died in war and I felt the loss for the families remembering them today.  I burst into tears because I felt utterly useless, limited and incapable of offering help that I thought would be worthy.  I was overwhelmed and shared this with my pastor:

Can I tell you that I am not handling this very well?  I have not spoken to this woman since Rori’s issue with the law. She said some mean things to me and I just never bothered to mend the fence. Now I am hearing this and have spoken to her since I heard but I feel like I waited for something bad to happen before I made a move.  It is just not a good feeling. 

I also feel like so many people are burdened, even the ones who have not said anything and their names are not on any  prayer list.  It just feels like so much is happening and I am helpless. 

My friend from Memphis is hurting so much. The Franklin’s are hurting.  Kal is hurting and the list goes on and on.

I honestly don’t know how you do it – hearing all of this stuff and still be able to stand up. 

I am even crying for people I don't know in the Philippines, Soldiers who have died, and everything else in between.

I saw your response and burst into tears because I feel like I just added one more thing to your plate and here I am again – adding more.

I know Pastor that God is still God in all of this…I guess I am just sad right now because I feel like I am limited.

He did not join me in the pity party I was having, even though I invited him to it.  What he did say confirmed for me what God was whispering to me.  God gently reminded me of the report source. He asked me "whose report do you believe?"  I was silently crying even as I responded "Yours.  I believe the report of the Lord."  Then came the response from my pastor that sealed the deal, encouraged my heart and quieted the voice of fear and anxiety:

"I feel your pain. 

"Troubled Waters are a Sign of Miracles" whether we are moved to make amends, pray, give, etc. Miracles are sometimes right at our feet but we fail to see it because our vision is blocked by all our circumstances. Just take a moment and push through the crowd to see Jesus and reach out and touch the hem of His garment.

 

The hem is at the feet and speaks of humility which in itself is a miracle for humans but brings favour which brings miracle/miracles. 

Do what the Spirit of God prompts you to do.

 How do I deal with all that God has called me to bare? Trusting Him whole heartedly knowing that He and He alone bore all of the stuff everyone is going through including my stuff and I have to cast "all my cares on Him"  

Please don't feel that you are adding to my burden because I give it over to Him.

 The only time I feel burdens being added is when I see the lost, the backslidden and believers who know what is right and they are not obedient. This burdens God too for often He is grieved by our actions or inaction.

Take heart."

Maybe your circumstances are more or less than mine.  But I believe we all need to know that Troubled Waters are a sign of Miracles and as such we ought to Take Heart.  Be encouraged today, for surely it will not always be this way.

God Bless you.

I am learning

How does a parent watch their child go down a path of destruction and stand aside to allow them to figure it out on their own?  How does a parent stop shielding their child from the cold reality of this world, to allow them to live and function in it?  How does a parent respond to an adult child that says I am starving?  I put these questions out there because I don’t yet have the answers to them.  I am learning and perhaps ten years from today I will be able to respond.  Today, I am not there. 

My son has been living in Calgary, AB since July of this year.  He bought his ticket, one way, and said “Mom, I am moving to Calgary.”  I just realize that I have an empty nest.  While he has been away, I must say I have had to allow him to grow up.  James MacDonald once said that when kids are young, spanking them will not hurt you as much as it does when they are older and you have to watch them making mistakes that you cannot prevent.  That rips your heart out more than anything else.   I took a look at his bank account last week and saw his spending activity.  I saw how he spent money on fast food, clothing, phone repairs and taxi cab.  I took out my phone, ready to give him my unsolicited advice.  I was ready to tell him the folly of his ways.  Wisdom, however, said leave him.  That was hard.

This week I did send him a text.  I call it a breath check.  His answer was unexpected.  His answer broke my heart. 

Mom: “Hi Ror”

Son: “Hi Mom”

Mom: “How are you?”

Son: “Starving, and you?”

Mom: “No food?”

Son: “No.”

 

When I read that, I felt terrible.  I felt like I should have been giving him a top up in his account; I should have taught him the value of a dollar; I should have taught him how to shop for grocery; I should have taught him how to cook; I should have given him better tools for today.  I hurt for him, because I knew that he was not equipped.  I did not equip him for the today that I thought would be much later on – tomorrow maybe.  I wrestled with whether or not it was right to rescue him.  He did not budget and so it led to him being in this predicament.  How was I to help him while still allowing him to face the consequences of his choices?  I eventually decided that I was not going to let him starve today, tomorrow however was up to him.  I gave him a small amount along with some advice that I felt I now had the right to give. 

A friend asked me how I was coping with him being gone. In response I would say only this: “I am learning.”   I am learning, as much as he is, to trust the things I did teach him and to wait for him to come to me for assistance in the things that I didn’t.  I am learning to pray more for him.  I am learning to trust God’s plans for him.  I am learning to surrender him to a Father who loves him from before I knew him.  I am learning that it is definitely true when the bible says faith believes in what you don’t see.  I am learning….

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about what we cannot see. Hebrews 11:1 (NLT)

 

 

 

Choose what is better and it will not be taken away

I walked into my house tonight and immediately I knew I needed to retreat.  The air was heavy with the sounds of tired people that kept going.  My mom was cleaning the kitchen and every move she made was punctuated with a loud hiss of her teeth.  My sister, I suppose in an attempt to help, was banging cleaning supplies around in the bathroom.  I took one look at them, and did what my mind screamed - RETREAT! 

Prior to entering, I was also stewing in my own misery.  I started complaining about my day from last night.  My younger sister called me at 10:30pm to ask me to take her to her physiotherapy session.  In my mind I complained that she didn't give me enough notice; I had a hundred things to do at work; and I hate driving her SUV.  I complained about the project at work I was working on which just made me feel guilty.  God had graciously given me this project as an answer to a prayer for something to do at work. I prayed the night, and the next morning my boss came over and asked me to assist my co-worker.  I was not only miserable but ungrateful. 

I am smiling to myself as I type this because I really was being a brat to myself all day.  I knew exactly what was missing - my retreat time with my wonderful Father.  I needed some time at His feet to set me straight. I needed the Mary seat after being Martha all day long.  If I have lost you, let me catch you up on two sisters who were good friends of Jesus.  Luke wrote:

Luke 10:38-42

New International Version (NIV)

At the Home of Martha and Mary

³⁸ As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. ³⁹ She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. ⁴⁰ But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
⁴¹ “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, ⁴² but few things are needed—or indeed only one.^[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Source: http://www.biblegateway.com

Have you been a little distracted with the tasks you have before you?  Is your calendar full and your days rolling all together as one?  Have you found yourself miserable and just bad company?  Today, there were times I didn't want to be around myself, but thank God for the retreat God invited me to attend.  I didn't leave my house, the sanctuary was  right in my room with some good praise and worship music!  He says to you as well, "Come, have a seat. Listen to what I am saying to you.  Don't be worried or upset.  Choose what is better and it will not be taken away from you."



 

Marathon of Endurance

On October 16, 2013, Logan Ethan Brown made his appearance to the world.  It was the first time those of us outside of his mommy’s womb would see him.  In the days leading up to his scheduled delivery, his mom and I had many conversations.  We spoke about her fears, his name, and his personality.  What we never imagined was what actually happened.

L. Ethan was born with what is medically known as an Imperforate Anus.  If you were like me, right about now you are going what?!  According to Medline Plus,

“Imperforate anus is a defect that is present from birth (congenital) in which the opening to the anus is missing or blocked. The anus is the opening to the rectum through which stools leave the body”. http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001147.htm

Upon hearing we were all shocked, frightened, scared and maybe even a little or a lot angry at this discovery. His mom said through tears “I can’t believe this is my life”.  I know we have shed many tears for little Ethan even as we entrusted him to God.

In times such as this I feel more grateful for things we often take for granted; things like an anus and even the very importance of its function.  I am grateful for a healthy baby.  I am grateful for grace that is undeserved.

 

Ethan has been in the hospital for a little over a week and while they found other concerns, he is really a perfect little boy. 

I have been encouraged, knowing that the God who formed him in his mom’s womb, is able to finish that process.  He knew him and had set eyes on him before he was even a thought.  He formed him in His image of perfection. He is a faithful God, who makes no mistakes.  I am encouraged because this trial causes us to look beyond our own abilities and confidence, to a God who created the Heavens and Earth.  I am encouraged, because we bend our knees to God and His glory is seen.

A friend’s husband told his wife, “We are in a marathon of endurance, not a sprint.”  I believe this can be applied to all of us.  You may have other challenges, and it is not something that comes and goes quickly.  It may be that the challenges seem back to back, creating a long stretch for you. It is a marathon - long and hard.  Endure.  Trust.  Pray.  The race is not for the swift but for those who will endure to the end.  My friend, God has already given us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ!

 

Thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Cor. 15:57

 

Give the Flowers While I am Alive

We celebrated my Mom's birthday this weekend.  It has become something of a tradition for us to "bless" people with our words of love and kindness on their birthdays in my family. As a matter of fact, my Mom was the one who asked us "where is my blessing?" after every plan we had for her to go out to dinner fell apart. However, she wanted to be blessed more than to eat Chicken Alfredo at Red Lobster.

I am so glad we did it. Late at night my family came together over vanilla cake to tell this woman of 64years how much we loved her.  We told her how much we appreciated all she did and does for us, her son and daughters and grand-kids and great grand kids.  We encouraged her to pursue her dreams, whatever they might be, and affirmed her.  It was a moment of tears, not from sadness, but love and joy.

The intimacy of the evening was perfect for her.  She said to us this was just what I wanted.  This was better than dinner.  This was better than any gift we gave her. This was her blessing...her flowers that will never fade or die. 

Roses in Vase (Taken from Google image)

I believe I have said this before, but it is worth repeating. Don't wait until the grave to say the words you want to say. Don't wait for sickness to come around.  Who can receive love from the finality of a coffin? Who can give love from the coldness of death?  No-one.  Not you. Not me.  So I urge you, don't wait. Give your child the words of wisdom now.  Hug your spouse as often as you can. Laugh with your children even if the house is a mess. Sit and eat and be with the ones you love. Let them know it and don't wait to say   "I love you".  My friends, give them the "flowers" today.

For God So Loved The World...

Saturday a friend of mine said this to me “I have never seen a black girl love a white man as much as you do. Black men must have hurt you really badly. What happened?”  I responded as such, “I love black men. My son is a black man.  I do not have a racial preference either way.”

He remained unconvinced and I didn’t feel the need to proof what I knew in my heart to be true.  It’s like my 12y/o nephew and I were talking en route to church the day before.  He said to me “My mom would have a problem if I dated a white girl. But I try to tell her that I don’t see colour.”

Today in our society, it would look like we have progressed and moved past the racial “thing”, but in every home I believe the ugliness of racial prejudices still exists.  It hides itself behind smiles and politeness, but it has not been erased from our society.  In fact I believe that we have to remind ourselves that Jesus loves us all so we don’t fall into the trap of racial discrimination.

I told my nephew that he should consider how Jesus loved.  Did he love all, die for all, rose for all, and will come again for all?  Did he not send preachers to the Gentiles as well as the Chosen Jews?  Does the bible say For God so loved the whites, or the blacks, or the Asians, or the Africans, or did it say the world?

John 3:16 New International Version (NIV)

¹⁶ For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

 

I see colour.  I see the differences between me and someone of a different skin colour, cultural background, accent and even morals. I see it because I am not blind (although at times I wish I were in this respect).  I see these differences that set each of us apart, and yet amazingly bring us all together.  It is like looking at the colours on one tree in the fall season. That tree has greens, reds, oranges, browns, yellows, blacks and maybe even some white spots.  The multiplication of colours is what makes it beautiful to me. 

Fall (taken from internet)

 

 I imagine that this is what God intended when He made us all different. Perhaps when he looks down upon us, he sees the beauty of our differences just as I see the beauty in that tree.  I hope you are reminded of the wonderful, unfailing, all inclusive love of our Heavenly Father as you enjoy the fall season.

United (taken from internet)