Stepping Into My Tomorrow

“Anyway, all week you've been on my mind & I’ve wanted to send an email but I wasn't intentional as I needed to be.  How are you doing?  Sometimes I sense that you are absorbed with everybody else, but, how is Lando?  I don't know what’s happening with Lando but God knows so I lift you up in prayer.  Love you cus.”

 

This is the message that I received from my cousin this morning. I read it and immediately teared up because there was so much truth in her observation.  I am absorbed with everyone else and if I am honest, I don’t even know how to answer her question.  I don’t even know how I am doing outside of everyone else. 

 

This morning before this email, as I was praying to God, I scared myself with the intensity of emotions that came to the surface.  I was praying about myself and I believe it was God’s Holy Spirit who led me down a path that I was not even aware was there.  I say this to say that maybe my compulsion to wrap myself up in everyone else’s issue is really about not dealing with my own. Perhaps, and I can think of at least one person who might agree, this is an avoidance mechanism that I use to hide.

 

Hide from what do you ask? Hide from the past, the present and the future.  Hide from the choices I made that causes me to reap the consequences today. Hide from the pressures that I feel want to squeeze me dry. I even found myself hiding from the mail, because I didn’t want to figure out the bills.  Hiding from the responsibilities that I have chosen to take on and now overwhelm me by their greatness.

 

As I am typing my thoughts down, I keep hearing “that was yesterday”.  For me the yesterday was right up to 8:30am this morning. God has already been dealing with me, and He has said no more hiding behind other people.  Hide in my Shelter, in my refuge, in my Fortress.  This morning he asked me to do something that didn’t make sense to me in the natural, but the spiritual implications are huge!  Make an outline of a door and step through it to the other side. 

And so I did.  I made that “unseen” door and walked through it.  I stepped into my tomorrow and everything before that was now my yesterday! 

 

Bless God somebody!  He has people praying for me, like my cousin and so my heart was already prepared to hear Him and my obedience was without question.  I believe with all my heart that I am already okay.  I am echoing the Psalmist, (some say Moses, some say David, I say whoever), He is my God, I will trust Him!