In all things I Thank, Love and Honor You God

I have a new sense of compassion to my sisters with the issue of blood.  I have what others may consider a normal period.  The usual 5 days of going through the process, pain change heavy light fade end.  Pretty routine. After decades of the same thing I pretty much got it down to a science.  The days of having accidents as we call them were over for me.  I am well past my thirties (unbelievable) and so those days of teenage mishaps were over.

Well, not today.  I am at the end of what I felt ( still do to be honest0, was a very productive day.  I got some things checked of my running to do list and the high exhilarating.  I stood in preparation to get ready to exit the building.  Walked from my office to the hall and felt something running down my stocking clad legs.  Looking down in complete shock I saw that blood was dripping down unto my shoes and unto the hallway carpet!!!!

Aghast I tried to walk as carefully as I could manage without any more spills on a carpet that I can’t clean.  Oh the horror to discover I was a mess and nothing to change into.  Still I reasoned it could be worse.  This could have happened when most of the staff was still present as opposed to the end of the day when near everyone was gone.

I re-entered my office armed with paper towels and a garbage bag. What I found was large stains of crimson decorating my carpeted office floor.  I didn’t even know when that happened. I didn’t feel anything when I stood and yet the signs showed that I had a very large mishap.

I say all of this to say that in spite of this rather embarrassing situation I am determined to see the good in the bad.  I am determined to thank, love and honor God even when the circumstances are demanding I do differently. 

So, thank you God for covering my shame. This still points me to your provision for me.  Lord you provided seemingly out of nowhere a real cloth in my desk drawer (the paper towel was in shreds) that I happened to have, and a bottle of cleaner that I also happened to have handy in my office. I love you for loving me and I honor you in all things.

How can I give you up?

I claimed to have read the book of Hosea before, but after reading it this week I fear I lied to myself.  There is no way I could have read that book and remained unmoved.  There is no way I could have missed the plea from God to Israel and me for us to love Him. 

Yes, I opened the chapter with my own expectations.  I didn't plan to really explore beyond the first two chapters.  You know, the ones we talk about all the time.  Hosea the prophet hears from God to marry a harlot.  We see how she would prostitute herself and have children outside of the marriage bed.  We read about Hosea going back to buy her from the slave block and asking her to remain faithful.  All of this we know was done to illustrate the unfaithfulness of Israel. 

Normally, I would close the book and say that was beautiful God.  Amen.

However, this was not the case for me this week.  I went further and to be truthful, I need to return to the pages of this book for there is so much more in it for me and you (if you are willing to find out).  My heart got snagged on a few verses like

Hosea chapter 6:6 - 7NLT
I want you to show love,[b]
    not offer sacrifices.
I want you to know me[c]
    more than I want burnt offerings.
7 But like Adam,[d] you broke my covenant
    and betrayed my trust.

Hosea chapter 11:8-10NLT
⁸ “Oh, how can I give you up, Israel?
    How can I let you go?
How can I destroy you like Admah
    or demolish you like Zeboiim?
My heart is torn within me,
    and my compassion overflows.
⁹ No, I will not unleash my fierce anger.    I will not completely destroy Israel,
for I am God and not a mere mortal.
    I am the Holy One living among you,
    and I will not come to destroy.
¹⁰ For someday the people will follow me.    I, the Lord, will roar like a lion.
And when I roar,
    my people will return trembling from the west.

Now can you imagine the creator of the Heavens and Earth saying this to his creation?  It really caused my heart to pause for all I kept thinking was He's saying this to me. 

You see, I no longer saw Israel as the ones being arrogant, stubborn and rebellious.  It wasn't just them running to old lovers and attributing their good outcome to these man-made gods.  It was me.  It was me that prostituted, turned away, idolizing images and all the horrible betrayal that was listed. It was me that needed to give my love and not just offerings without honor.  It was me.

I thank God that in spite of what I deserve, God says "How can I let you go? How can I give you up?" 

His love is unrelenting in the chase for me.  His love is so perfect I don't comprehend it.  His love is unfailing and is for me.  Friend, if you are reading this then I want you to know that His love is for you also.  He says to you, I want you to love me. I want you to know me.  I will not let you go.

So be comforted today and know that nothing will separate you from this love; His love - the love of God.

Now we can say Amen.

Draw Nigh Unto God

I am thankful.  Today is thanksgiving and a good as any day to begin thinking of all my blessings. I am blessed in the city and in the fields.  I am blessed when I come and when I go. I am blessed in the days of sunshine and when the night seems forever long.  I am blessed and for that I am thankful.

 

To be honest, I don’t always see the blessings as clear as I do today.  I don’t always see the evidence of Gods handiwork in my life.  I often times see only the things that I don’t have and what isn’t going right in my eyes.  Sigh.  I don’t want this to be my outlook. This is a new season – a new day.  I want to be the one who sees the glass as God intended.  I was about to type that I want to see the glass as half full and not half empty.  However, I think the best way to see things is as God does – whatever that may look like.  I want my eyes to be framed by His lenses and my ears to be attuned to His voice.  I want my word to be His word and not my own.  I want to be the girl that breathes out every breath with the awareness of my saviour always about me.

 

Don’t you see? This is the only way that I can maintain the heart of gratitude that will extend beyond October’s Thanksgiving Day. I want more and I am sure you do as well.  I am sure you want the heart of God to beat within your breast as I do.  So, how do we achieve this?  Draw nigh unto the One whom we crave to be like the most.  He says draw nigh unto me and I will draw nigh unto you. So let us take a step towards Him…you and me.  We will not be disappointed. We will not be put to shame.  Instead we will find that all we seek and need is to be found in Him – Jesus Christ Our Lord.

Laziness & Procrastination Gets You Nowhere

I have been lazy - procrastinating with excuses and self satisfied reasoning.  I have thought and planned out my actions only to do nothing by the days short end.  I can see how many of you might be tempted to judge me.  I am here stating, seemingly unashamedly, that I have been lazy.  You can judge me if you like.  However, I suspect that if you are honest you will find your "To Do List" just as loaded from months ago. 
 
The truth is evident even as I look at the last time I "blogged".  What you don't know is that I had committed to do this every month.  My commitment was to God and myself, and yet I was not willing to put thoughts on "paper" as it were.  I have wasted away good hours thinking on what needed to be done but doing nothing that had to be done.  The irony is that I am the one who told my own offspring to "Do what you have to do so that you can do what you want to do".  I would love to say I coined that phrase myself for I don't remember hearing it prior to having said it.  Regardless of who said it when, it is a truth that I wished I had actually lived out before him.
 
I shake my head at myself really. 
 
My biggest regrets and causes for many repentive prayers, are the times I was just too lazy to do the things that would have the most lasting impact.  Only that which I do for God will remain and those moments, those God ordained moments, that I failed to act are what plagues me.  The time He told me to go visit someone who was sick and to minister to them in song or Word.  The time He told me to write that letter to someone and I left it in unwritten.  The time He told me to make that phone call and I never found the time. I wish this short list was all I had in my memory banks, but there are more.  These are moments I wont get back.  The people died.  That letter and phone call are no longer needed. Lost opportunities are what I have packed carefully in my trunk of Yesterdays. 
 
The bible is clear and tells us that we ought to work while it is day (John 9:4).  There is a time when that will not be possible.  It tells us that laziness will bring about poverty and encourages us to be diligent instead (Prov. 12:24).  Friends, I tell you these things so that you are forewarned.  There is a danger in knowing the good we ought to do but failing to do it.  James calls it a sin (James 4:17).  None of us are perfect. We don't always get it right.  However, today is as good a time as any to restart.  Are you with me?