Standing in the Enormity of God

I heard this statement from my friend "I'm standing in the enormity of God and feeling pretty small."  Wow.  She continued speaking but to be honest I was stuck.  The enormity of God.  I don't think I have ever thought of it before.  Imagine God - the GREAT BIG ENORMOUS GOD, allows me to stand before His throne.  I am feeling pretty small myself to be honest. 

I thank God that in spite of me...wow I am about to burst into tears.  This is mind blowing to consider and yet we should all take a moment to do just that.

Actually, it's okay that tears fall.  Its okay to feel as I do and perhaps how you feel as well.  Its okay to be overwhelmed by God and His Bigness.  It's okay to stand in His presence or kneel or be flat on your face.  Its okay to feel little and yet enormously treasured, protected, provided for and loved by Him. Its okay for all of this and more.

Imagine how Isaiah felt. He saw the Lord, High and Lifted up on His throne and His train filled the temple (Isa 6:1)!  Imagine Moses as He was in the glorious presence of God and his face shone after being there (Exodus 33).  Imagine yourself or better yet - why don't you get into His presence?  Why don't you stand in His presence and be overwhelmed by His Greatness.

Friends, we have nothing to boast of or anything to make him mindful of us but He does.  Oh precious one say yes to His invitation and be blessed.  Stand just as my friend did, in the enormity of God.  I hope that when you do, you feel small too. 

Keeping Faith First

I have been bothered with the cares of my world. They become the noise that seems unceasing within the walls of mind. They show up before sleep and keeps me pondering them over with no new solutions.  In other words that may be more descriptive to you I am worrying. I am like what George Mueller describes as being in a rocking chair going nowhere...fretting and worrying caused by calculating without God. I would say he has me pegged really well.

I'm not quite sure how it happened or even when it occurred, but my hold on faith was loosened and I began to have a death grip on worry fear and anxiety. Do you know what that amounts to in my life? It means that I will have no good end by this destructive trade off.

Now , here I am preparing to speak to a group of women about keeping faith first and I have been struggling to get back to that place. Is this irony or God's way of kicking me out of the rut I placed myself into? 

I am going to say this is a God plan because guess what? I am doing exactly what I should have been doing in the first place. Seeking after God. Bending knees and searching the word. He has said, and this is fresh so please enjoy it, do not worry.  Yes folks Jesus said in Matthew 6:25-34 that we need not worry about our life, what we will eat or drink or our body or what we will put on. 

Instead He says seek His Kingdom and His righteousness First! God knows what we need and He is faithful who has promised (Heb10:23).

We can draw near to God and hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering. He is faithful.  

So my friends, don't forget this truth as I did and was plagued with the voices of doubt and fear for far too long. Truth always eradicates the lies we are told and  tell ourselves. We can keep faith first...by seeking God first!

13 Seats: The Women Who Dared To Testify

I am apart of a movement that has begun with a book.  This book has been authored by 12 women who are sharing their stories in a chapter.  In this book you will get a preview of how they got over to the other side of life. You will see how they have lived through some challenges.  You will read about a God who used adversity to shape them into who they are today. 

I must say that these women are still far from being perfect.  They are still work in progress with the assurance that He who began a good work in them is faithful and able to complete it.  They are women who love God and are living this out daily.  They are fallible and subjected to likened passions just as you are - just as I am.

So I invite you to get yourself a copy of this book and find your story to tell. There are 13 seats and 12 of us - my friend that 13th seat is just for you!  Won't you sit with us and dare to testify?

Revelation 12:11 promises us that you and I will triumph by the blood of the lamb and by the word of our testimonies.  AMEN!!!

(This book can be purchased from Amazon)

 

 

 

In His Presence

I'm sitting here in my den and am so overwhelmed by the presence of God. 

I am not doing a bible study.
I am not praying or singing or anything like that.

Right here, in the midst of my everyday life and tasks God's presence is with me.

I don't know how to explain it but I realize that God really is inside of me.  Greater is here - in me and He delights in me as I delight myself in Him.  I am downloading songs unto some USBs and watching a movie yet, I find myself pausing to say "God  I love you".  I am sipping mint tea and curled up on my sofa in my favorite night dress and again I find myself saying "God I love you".

I am not alone in this love talk.  He responds and that is what I feel.  Perhaps He didn't respond but actually initiated it.  Whatever and however it is doesn't really matter.  All I know is in His presence, and I am, there is an outpouring of love that is unmatched; there is a freedom that is beyond words; there is  a wonderful knowing that I belong; there is a me and there is a HIM.  In His Presence I am who I am meant to be - and you my friend can be there as well.  Join Him - He awaits you even now.

Jealousy leads to insanity

I was listening to James McDonald preach and he said jealousy leads to insanity. The Pharisees were so jealous of Jesus' popularity that they deemed it a good thing to kill him.  Now, I bet you are sitting there thinking how could they think of doing such a thing and worse yet, execute the heinous plan of evil?  I daresay look at the mirror and see for yourself the awful truth.  Would you not say dear one that you have been just as insane in jealousy?  Would you not say that you have been driven by it to do acts that were awful and downright ungodly?

You may never tell a soul but as my little six year old niece pointed out to her cousin in an argument "Gods see you, you know!"  Yes.  Yes He sees you and He sees me.  So I will not sit here and try to pretend as if I am better or worse than the Pharisees. I have been battling through jealousy and her sister envy quite recently.  I have felt like I wanted a bigger piece of the pie.  I have wanted the praise. I have wanted the glory.  I am ashamed to say it but I do so only to expose the darkness in me and I daresay you as well. 

Friends, in continuing the message from Pastor McDonald, I realized that my problem is love. I don't love others as I should.  If I loved God then I would love others. Isn't that what we have been commanded to do in the gospel of John?  John 14: 15 says that if we love Jesus we will keep His Word.  So what was His word?  John 13:34 makes it real simple for people like me. It says,

New International Version
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another."

If I loved others as Jesus said then I would not be jealous or envious of their success. I would not in my mind grumble about the blessings they have been experiencing, especially when I have not half of what they have been doing.  Lord, Lord Help me to overcome this insane jealousy in my life in Jesus name, Amen.

Her Blessing Is NOT Your Blessing

So the other day I was listening to a friend of mine tell us of how she was blessed to have been able to get some free paint.  She went to buy paint and by some mishap from the store they got a $45 can of paint for free.  As the words came out of her mouth I heard my thoughts think I want that too.  I want her blessing.  As quickly as that formed in my mind I was rebutted by the Spirit of Truth.  Her blessing is not your blessing. 

Even as I sit to type this post I am reminded that I cannot be envious or desiring of  her blessing that made her rich in the moment and added no sorrow.  I have not walked in her precious shoes.  What you may want to know is that this friend has been walking through long suffering for over two years.  She has been out of work for two years plus with a medical condition that has changed her life completely.  She has been battling through with the insurance company, that refuses to pay her anything. She has had to endure embarrassment and great hardship. She has had a cross to bear that pains me to even remember.  So the questions arises, am I willing to walk through her pain in order to receive her gain?  No.  I am not.

It is easy for us to sit and want the good from someone's life. We even think we deserve it. Yet, we don't see the whole story.  We don't see the aches and pain. We don't see the tears or scars.  We don't know how they suffered all we see is the glory - the evidence of God - in their lives.

I am reminded that what God has given to me is for me; the blessings and the pain are mine when He says and how He determines. I need not look on the other side of the fence.  The grass is not always greener and even if it is - that is not my portion but theirs.  Let me be content in what I have been given...Father knows best.

In all things I Thank, Love and Honor You God

I have a new sense of compassion to my sisters with the issue of blood.  I have what others may consider a normal period.  The usual 5 days of going through the process, pain change heavy light fade end.  Pretty routine. After decades of the same thing I pretty much got it down to a science.  The days of having accidents as we call them were over for me.  I am well past my thirties (unbelievable) and so those days of teenage mishaps were over.

Well, not today.  I am at the end of what I felt ( still do to be honest0, was a very productive day.  I got some things checked of my running to do list and the high exhilarating.  I stood in preparation to get ready to exit the building.  Walked from my office to the hall and felt something running down my stocking clad legs.  Looking down in complete shock I saw that blood was dripping down unto my shoes and unto the hallway carpet!!!!

Aghast I tried to walk as carefully as I could manage without any more spills on a carpet that I can’t clean.  Oh the horror to discover I was a mess and nothing to change into.  Still I reasoned it could be worse.  This could have happened when most of the staff was still present as opposed to the end of the day when near everyone was gone.

I re-entered my office armed with paper towels and a garbage bag. What I found was large stains of crimson decorating my carpeted office floor.  I didn’t even know when that happened. I didn’t feel anything when I stood and yet the signs showed that I had a very large mishap.

I say all of this to say that in spite of this rather embarrassing situation I am determined to see the good in the bad.  I am determined to thank, love and honor God even when the circumstances are demanding I do differently. 

So, thank you God for covering my shame. This still points me to your provision for me.  Lord you provided seemingly out of nowhere a real cloth in my desk drawer (the paper towel was in shreds) that I happened to have, and a bottle of cleaner that I also happened to have handy in my office. I love you for loving me and I honor you in all things.

How can I give you up?

I claimed to have read the book of Hosea before, but after reading it this week I fear I lied to myself.  There is no way I could have read that book and remained unmoved.  There is no way I could have missed the plea from God to Israel and me for us to love Him. 

Yes, I opened the chapter with my own expectations.  I didn't plan to really explore beyond the first two chapters.  You know, the ones we talk about all the time.  Hosea the prophet hears from God to marry a harlot.  We see how she would prostitute herself and have children outside of the marriage bed.  We read about Hosea going back to buy her from the slave block and asking her to remain faithful.  All of this we know was done to illustrate the unfaithfulness of Israel. 

Normally, I would close the book and say that was beautiful God.  Amen.

However, this was not the case for me this week.  I went further and to be truthful, I need to return to the pages of this book for there is so much more in it for me and you (if you are willing to find out).  My heart got snagged on a few verses like

Hosea chapter 6:6 - 7NLT
I want you to show love,[b]
    not offer sacrifices.
I want you to know me[c]
    more than I want burnt offerings.
7 But like Adam,[d] you broke my covenant
    and betrayed my trust.

Hosea chapter 11:8-10NLT
⁸ “Oh, how can I give you up, Israel?
    How can I let you go?
How can I destroy you like Admah
    or demolish you like Zeboiim?
My heart is torn within me,
    and my compassion overflows.
⁹ No, I will not unleash my fierce anger.    I will not completely destroy Israel,
for I am God and not a mere mortal.
    I am the Holy One living among you,
    and I will not come to destroy.
¹⁰ For someday the people will follow me.    I, the Lord, will roar like a lion.
And when I roar,
    my people will return trembling from the west.

Now can you imagine the creator of the Heavens and Earth saying this to his creation?  It really caused my heart to pause for all I kept thinking was He's saying this to me. 

You see, I no longer saw Israel as the ones being arrogant, stubborn and rebellious.  It wasn't just them running to old lovers and attributing their good outcome to these man-made gods.  It was me.  It was me that prostituted, turned away, idolizing images and all the horrible betrayal that was listed. It was me that needed to give my love and not just offerings without honor.  It was me.

I thank God that in spite of what I deserve, God says "How can I let you go? How can I give you up?" 

His love is unrelenting in the chase for me.  His love is so perfect I don't comprehend it.  His love is unfailing and is for me.  Friend, if you are reading this then I want you to know that His love is for you also.  He says to you, I want you to love me. I want you to know me.  I will not let you go.

So be comforted today and know that nothing will separate you from this love; His love - the love of God.

Now we can say Amen.

Draw Nigh Unto God

I am thankful.  Today is thanksgiving and a good as any day to begin thinking of all my blessings. I am blessed in the city and in the fields.  I am blessed when I come and when I go. I am blessed in the days of sunshine and when the night seems forever long.  I am blessed and for that I am thankful.

 

To be honest, I don’t always see the blessings as clear as I do today.  I don’t always see the evidence of Gods handiwork in my life.  I often times see only the things that I don’t have and what isn’t going right in my eyes.  Sigh.  I don’t want this to be my outlook. This is a new season – a new day.  I want to be the one who sees the glass as God intended.  I was about to type that I want to see the glass as half full and not half empty.  However, I think the best way to see things is as God does – whatever that may look like.  I want my eyes to be framed by His lenses and my ears to be attuned to His voice.  I want my word to be His word and not my own.  I want to be the girl that breathes out every breath with the awareness of my saviour always about me.

 

Don’t you see? This is the only way that I can maintain the heart of gratitude that will extend beyond October’s Thanksgiving Day. I want more and I am sure you do as well.  I am sure you want the heart of God to beat within your breast as I do.  So, how do we achieve this?  Draw nigh unto the One whom we crave to be like the most.  He says draw nigh unto me and I will draw nigh unto you. So let us take a step towards Him…you and me.  We will not be disappointed. We will not be put to shame.  Instead we will find that all we seek and need is to be found in Him – Jesus Christ Our Lord.

Laziness & Procrastination Gets You Nowhere

I have been lazy - procrastinating with excuses and self satisfied reasoning.  I have thought and planned out my actions only to do nothing by the days short end.  I can see how many of you might be tempted to judge me.  I am here stating, seemingly unashamedly, that I have been lazy.  You can judge me if you like.  However, I suspect that if you are honest you will find your "To Do List" just as loaded from months ago. 
 
The truth is evident even as I look at the last time I "blogged".  What you don't know is that I had committed to do this every month.  My commitment was to God and myself, and yet I was not willing to put thoughts on "paper" as it were.  I have wasted away good hours thinking on what needed to be done but doing nothing that had to be done.  The irony is that I am the one who told my own offspring to "Do what you have to do so that you can do what you want to do".  I would love to say I coined that phrase myself for I don't remember hearing it prior to having said it.  Regardless of who said it when, it is a truth that I wished I had actually lived out before him.
 
I shake my head at myself really. 
 
My biggest regrets and causes for many repentive prayers, are the times I was just too lazy to do the things that would have the most lasting impact.  Only that which I do for God will remain and those moments, those God ordained moments, that I failed to act are what plagues me.  The time He told me to go visit someone who was sick and to minister to them in song or Word.  The time He told me to write that letter to someone and I left it in unwritten.  The time He told me to make that phone call and I never found the time. I wish this short list was all I had in my memory banks, but there are more.  These are moments I wont get back.  The people died.  That letter and phone call are no longer needed. Lost opportunities are what I have packed carefully in my trunk of Yesterdays. 
 
The bible is clear and tells us that we ought to work while it is day (John 9:4).  There is a time when that will not be possible.  It tells us that laziness will bring about poverty and encourages us to be diligent instead (Prov. 12:24).  Friends, I tell you these things so that you are forewarned.  There is a danger in knowing the good we ought to do but failing to do it.  James calls it a sin (James 4:17).  None of us are perfect. We don't always get it right.  However, today is as good a time as any to restart.  Are you with me? 

My help is from the Lord

When do you find yourself needing help? When you can’t do something on your own right? I. Those times of trouble you need a right now present kind of help. Agreed? So it would make sense that you would seek the help of the Lord your God. It would be the optimal choice of help came from the very creator of the Heavens and the Earth. Yet, as much as this sounds like a given we often don’t do that.

We turn instead to our resources that have been created by the creator. We seek out a friend or an ally. We use the money we have to pay for the coverage we need...the insurance or protection that we think will be the answer. We turn our eyes upon ourselves to find the help that really only comes from God.

Here is a new verse I learnt today:

Give us help from trouble for the help of man is useless. Psalm 60:11

Well if that doesn’t make it clear I am not sure what will do it for you. We need not look to man for they will disgrace and disappoint you. They will not help you. We cast our hope on a falsehood when we have the real deal as our Lord of Lords and King of Kings.

So today I encourage you to lift your eyes beyond the hills and as the question comes “where does my help come from?”
 Say like the Psalmist “My help comes from the Lord, who made Heaven and Earth”. Psalm 121:2

Mirror mirror on the wall

Mirror mirror on the wall
Tell me who’s the fairest one of all
Mirror mirror on the wall
Tell me what you see is it my flaws

You tell me I’m not good enough
You tell me I don’t measure up
Mirror mirror on the wall

I’m done with your lies
God’s opened my eyes
Mirror mirror on the wall

I am free
From the mirror on the wall

These words are the lyrics (adapted) for a new song I wrote. I sang it and it is like singing out my life’s theme song. For all of my teen and adult years this has been my story summarized.  The end is good and I realize that the truth about me is not what the mirror has said but what God has said about me.

Now you would think that I would be super sensitive to this issue  of image for others as well. You would think that I would never be the mirror for someone else to feel less than what God has said.  Well such is not the case. I was the voice saying to my beloved son you don’t measure up as I critiqued his appearance. I measured him and held up before him the mirror as I saw it...lacking. Not enough.

Oh friends I was convicted by Holy Spirit. I had to say I was sorry confessing that I was wrong and praying even now that I will never ever do that again to anyone. What I did was so natural I realize now that I must forgive others who have done the same to me.

We are not what we see but who God’s word says. We are fearfully and wonderfully made in Bis image. No more lies now. God has opened our eyes. We are free from the mirror on the wall!

Hear my cry oh God

Lord,
When we cry out to you do you hear us?

When our hearts are broken and overwhelmed do you see us?

I know you do. I know that you Lord are the one who hears us as we are speaking. I know that even as you see us you have compassion on us. You are the God who loves us and is patient and kind and fair toward us.

Father hear my hearts cry today. Hear oh God and answer me in my time of need.  Show me the way that leads to where you want me to be.

Help us Lord in this hour.  When the enemy seeks to devour us Lord hide us. Grant peace to anxious hearts.

Father I ask for mercy today God. Let not our enemies triumph over us today in Jesus name.  Send us help today I pray. Hear oh God our cry.

Standing on the promises of God

I’m waiting.

I’m waiting in the court house for a hearing of which my family member is accused.

I’m waiting across the room from the accuser.

I’m waiting and it is hard.

I’m at the beginning and I don’t know how it will end.

I’m ignorant of the process and afraid of the unknown.

I remember that God says He will keep me in perfect peace as I stay my mind on Him.

I remember that He is my counsellor and my defender.

I remember that He says be still and know Him.

I remember His promises and today I need them to anchor me.

I need the strength and refuge that is only found in Him.

I don’t know what to do.

So I trust Him. I trust Him with blinded eyes. I trust Him with my family.

I trust Him at all times.

He is my rock and salvation.

I stand upon His promises!

Dear God...My heart is breaking

Dear God,

       It seems that I am always in need of Your help.  I cannot seem to walk this path alone.  I thank you for being mindful of me.  I thank you for inviting me to your throne of grace again and again.

       Today God it's not for me.  Lord my son is broken hearted.  The sting of rejection has struck him again and his heart breaks – again.  Lord, I cannot remain detached from this for my heart breaks for him also. 

       As I go through this with him I feel sure that as our Father, who art in Heaven you weep with us as well. I am confident that when we are in sorrow, your heart is moved for us.  Lord, I am not a better parent than you.  In fact, I believe that it is because your spirit dwells within me that I am even able to sorrow with him. Your love motivates me and makes me better than I was before.

       Father, the month of June approaches and I know this truth may be over looked or made so simple we miss the weight of it. So Lord I pray that as we look to honor father’s we remember that you are the "Good, Good Father".  You love us unfailingly and will not turn away the one who seeks after you with all their heart. You Father, will not despise those that are of a broken heart.  You are the One who is able to mend and make as new. 

       So to the real # ONE DAD I entrust to You the heart of my son and all those that are grieving now in their days of woe.  In Jesus name,   Amen.

Waiting on my spouse

I’m sure by the many blogs I’ve read that I’m not unique in anything I’m about to say.  

                   I want to get married.

In this century. While I’m able to walk and talk with strength and vigor. I want a husband.  Now having this desire is not a bad thing. I know God has not taken it away and He says He will give me the desires of my heart.

Here is the thing, how do I wait, without murmuring to myself, or anyone else that will listen?
How do I continue to delight myself in the Lord without being a closet grumbler of my status in life?  My co-worker thinks I am being melodramatic?  He says, what are you talking about?  Perhaps you will think the same. I am not taking that away from you.  Critique me silently. :-)  Still my questions need answers.

Maybe what I need to do is read less inspirational novels where the lady is always found by that man that can't live without her.  Sigh.  Maybe I need a reality check and these books are clearly not helping.  They tell me about Ruth. Keep working in the fields daughter - your Boaz will find you. 
Well, I am not exactly looking for someone old enough to be my Dad but I digress.  Ruth and Boaz story is beautiful.  It certainly is better than the drama of Hosea and Gomer.   Yikes - that was not a good match. 


Maybe I need to just bask in the season of my singleness and find myself in the process.  My concerns are that I am getting older and I seem more set in my ways about certain things. AM I to be the old dog (not that I am a dog) having to learn a new trick?  I feel the race with gravity has a clear winner and it is not me or what used to be the best parts about me.  I see the gray that no CLAIROL can cover and the lines that MAC has yet to make disappear.  So you see, I am just a bit distracted in this season of singleness.

Now by now, some of you might be thinking she has lost it.  Yet, might I ask you your marital status?  Single of coupled?  Ahhhh.  I see.  I thought that would be your answer.


I don't know what I need to do to make this angst go away.  I sing and praise....Praise and Pray and still when I say AMEN it comes right back the next day.   I am not alone. There is another person feeling as I do...I just know it.

So here is what counsellor and Spirit of God now says to me.  Be anxious for nothing.    Oh isn't He so kind to allow me to vent all the above only to sweetly remind me of His truth.  Here, in this Word of truth I am able to exhale.  Still waiting on my spouse but now remembering God's got it covered.


 

Live!

Live.  To be living, alive, not dead.  Live.  To dwell in a particular place or space.  Live.  To practice life in a such a way as to say this is How I Live.

While I could continue to define this beautiful English Word from verb to adverb and adjective in between that is not what this is about.

Recently a patriarch of our church Family died.  His grave remains covered with fresh flowers even still so this is a now moment for me.  He lived. He died.  What have I taken away?  Well one thing is for sure - dead men cannot praise God.  Isaiah the prophet said  this and David the Psalmist sang it.  In the grave there is no clinging to the hope of Christ.  What is to be will be at that moment and all chances will have ceased.  In the depths of the grave whatever decision was made in the living will finally be proven to be true or false.  It is the hour of reckoning that we cannot escape - one and all.

As I watched, listened and cried at this funeral I made a decision.  I declared that I will Live and not Die.  I will live to declare the good works of God. This man wore his title of Christian with honor.  Everyone - his beloved wife, the sons and daughter, the grandchildren he loved, the workers the friends the new acquaintances and all who spoke of him were unanimous in this - He lived out his faith. 

David said that he would praise God all of his days until his dying breath.  Well, Dad Binda did that.  His last known words whispered were "I love you Jesus".


Oh the journey of his life was in no way smooth.  He had as much trials as anyone else. Yet in all of this he grew where he was planted. He Lived!  He lived a life that showed him to be salt and light.

Hey beloved, isn't it time you and I began to LIVE?  Let's not be as dead men walking.  Let us not be unflavored or dark in our witness that Jesus is Lord.  Let us begin to walk out a life that is purposeful and reflective of our one and only title that matters - Child of God aka Christian!

You will die in your sin

In reading through John I have found myself pausing more than once. On this instance my eyes had to re-look again and again the verse found in chapter 8 where Jesus declared to the Pharisees that they will die in their sins. To be accurate he said “I said to you that you will die in your sins; for if you do not believe that I am He, you will die in your sins.”

Is anyone sobered by these words? If we don’t believe we will die in our sins. Lest we forget that sin demands a payment. The wages of it being death. If it were just that the body dies no one would care.  If nothing happened beyond the grave then yes, carry on smartly. However it isn’t so at all.  Death is the beginning of forever.

Oh loved ones it is the time when those who believe that Jesus is the son of God and those who don’t will be separated. For one it is now the time to bask in the fulfillment of the inheritance. The mansions which has been prepared, the glory of which we can share, the abundant life forever more.  Those who don’t believe will indeed realize the fulfillment of the warning. They will know the weeping and gnashing of teeth; the terror that never ends in a place where demons reside and there is no hope inside.

The solution seems too simple and yet it is what it is...believe that Christ is He and be set free. The Son sets us free indeed. The Son gives us access to the promise. The Son pays our sin debt. The Son opens our eyes and gives us sight. The Son is the answer, only believe.

No Longer Bound

I don't know if I ever said this on this platform but here goes in the spirit of Freedom and Celebrating women. A few years ago, well maybe more than a few, I was the victim of unwanted sexual attention.    Now this was so long ago I don’t even remember the details. Well not true. I have chosen not to remember...not to dwell on a past that is already spent.

Why? Because I am no longer bound. I am free. That man is not allowed to be my focus and guess what I don’t hate him. I forgave him the moment I stopped crying. I am not bound by unforgiveness.  I am free.

My mom revealed to me that as a child she was  molested by a man she knew. She told me that this memory was repressed for decades. It came back to her after a dream where a spirit of Satan to bound her hands and silence her mouth. However I reminded her that who the Son sets free is free indeed. She is no longer bound. She is free.

I want to tell you woman or man that you are free. I don’t care what happened yesterday. Today stand in the liberty where with Christ has set you free and be not entangled in the yoke of bondage. You my love are free.

A word to the wise

I am asked to give a quick talk on the theme of A Word to the wise. I can’t help but think of that word  - Word. The Word that was in the beginning and created everything in heaven and earth.  The Word that became flesh and walked among men. The Word that came to give life. The Word that was rejected, tried, crucified and buried.  The Word that is now risen and is seated at the right hand of The Father.

This is the Word that makes us wise. This is Word that is watched over to be performed by the Father.  This is the Word that when declared raises faith. This is the word to the wise.

My Lord Is Everything

I am asked to speak on the theme "My Lord Is Everything" for the Embrace Women's Service weekly devotional on the prayer line.  Normally by now I should be brimming over with words to say and yet inside there is this pause.  I feel the questions that asks "Is He your everything?" "Is He your Lord?"  "What does this look like in your life?"  Now I don't know if this makes me look bad to you but these are honest self check ups we should all engage in. Lets just say this got personal real fast. 

I find that sometimes I become so caught up in the routine of my Christian Walk that I lose sight of the One I should be following.  I mean I am doing all these things in His name and yet I wonder if this is really for Him or for Me.  I have read just as you did I am believe that God has a problem with people who are ritualistic and self motivated.  Check out any account of the gospel and you will find Brothers Pharisees and Sadducees as prime examples of what not to do. 

I know we can come down on these guys but the thing is that you and I (yes - you) are not exempt from being afar off with our hearts.  It's easy to become 'churchy' without God.  I could go on and on, but like I said - it's personal.  I know that I don't want to be the one who He tells "Depart from me I know you not". 

Do me a favor?  Don't let this be just another read for my sake.  Examine yourself. Ask the hard question.  Is Jesus Christ your Lord?  Is He everything?

Dethroning King Flesh

I have been saved for over twenty years. In this period of time I can count on one hand the number of times I have engaged in the discipline of fasting. Why? Well my stomach always screamed louder. It shouted out protests with words that demanded my attention for now rather than later. Oh yes, I can imagine how Esau said I am going to die if I don’t eat NOW! King Flesh rises up again and again to conquer the Spirit by which we ought to be led.

I say all this because I am determined in this year of my life to dethrone this King once and for all. I am a Christian. I have a basket of fruit from the Spirit and self control is a peg of that fruit. I already have discipline I just need to excercise it. (As I type this I am forcing myself to stay on the stationary bike at the gym). Jesus at his most vulnerable time was tempted just as we are and he resisted. He didn’t turn stone to bread and feasted just to shut up the hunger pangs that must have been screaming at him. Likewise, we can resist the devil and he will flee.  We will do best to remember Esau’s unfortunate end. He wept bitterly when he realized that for a pot of stew he had lost what was rightfully his by birth.

As apart of this dethroning I am committed to fasting. Yes. It is difficult. I get threatened by my flesh that it will just die if not satisfied right this minute. I even get the plea bargains, the compromise strategies, the just this one time arguments. Yes King flesh is pulling out all the ammunition against this sudden use of self discipline on my part. He is not a happy camper and endeavours to make me miserable as well.  However I have found strength in the word of God. 

They that hunger and thirst after righteousness shall be filled. If I allow myself to feast on the word of God, to seek a closer walk with Jesus through prayer I will succeed. By Gods grace I can win in this battle.

Loved ones I am early on in the game. Yet this assurance keeps me motivated.  I will be filled and satisfied with a permanent reward that cannot be attained by satisfying the demands of my flesh. Yes, it screams now but the promise of God last’s longer indeed. So join me if you will on the dethroning of King Flesh. Let us be led by the Spirit of God. We will never be the same.

I am...

I am 43 y/o. 
I am living in a home with my Mom, two single sisters and my son.
I am working at the same company for over 15 years.
I am single with no prospect on the horizon at this time.

I am overweight. I struggled all my life with this battle, gaining victories that got swallowed up.
I am not the girl that is in the mirror, and I wonder often who she is....oh where is young me?
I am ordinary in appearance, if I am really honest. I have nothing spectacular of which I can boast.
I am simple and I am content with this style of me.

I am sure by now you are tempted to feel sorry for me.
I am however going to encourage you not to engage in sorrow - not for me loved ones.
I am all of the above but I saved the best for last.
I am all that and so much more.

I am loved.
I am chosen.
I am saved.
I am born again.

I am wonderfully, marvelously and perfectly made in His image.
I am a royal priesthood.
I am a daughter of the King, not just a King, but THE KING of KINGS.
I am weak and yet strengthened by a power that is outside of me and inside of me all at once.

I am His and He is mine. 
I am His beloved.
I am IN the I AM that I AM, who calls me out by name.
I am ME, and have discovered, not too late, that I AM ENOUGH.

Dead men's bones

In reading through Matthew, a first for me, I found that Jesus did not water down the truth.  He really didn't care who he offended. In fact he offended a lot of people.  He just didn't stay silent nor was he always politically correct.  (Well let me say that term used to mean a lot more in the old days but not the way things are now in politics, where everything and anything goes.)  He spoke whatever the Father said about sin. He didn't condemn, but to those who had an ear to hear he spoke words to bring them to the way, the truth and the life. 

In one such incident he spoke to the religious leaders of the time.  Oh they were a puffed up bunch.  In fact he described them as graves.  They looked great on the outside but inside they were the houses of dead men's bones.  Ouch!  They were hypocrites, pretending to be for God when in truth their hearts were far from Him.  They were oppressors, requiring more from the people than God intended.  They were fame seekers, looking only to be lauded and praised for their knowledge and position.  They were blind, unable to see that they needed to be saved.  They were deaf, unable to hear the Word of truth.  They were dumb, unable to process the simple and uncomplicated gospel of Jesus Christ.  They were children of their father, the Devil and they didn't even know it.

Now I don't say all of that to throw stones.  In reality, this is cause for us to examine ourselves.  Are we like that?  Have we walked away from our first love?  Are we graves of dead men's bones because inside we are dead to Christ?  I am just praying that Holy Spirit will never leave me, but always search me out and see the evil within so that it can be purged.  My friends, now is a good time to fall on our faces and repent.  Now is a good time to say Lord, help me to live for you cause I don't want to be a "dead man walking".

Daniel Said No

I was at a devotion yesterday, hosted by my youngest nephew.  I really gleaned some good insights.  He looked at the book of Daniel and brought his own revelation to the table for us to share. 
In chapter 1 we find that the sons of Judah were captured by the king of Babylon and brought to this strange land.  These young men were the cream of the crop.  The bible explains that in them there was no blemish, but they were good looking, gifted, quick witted and able to serve the king in his palace.  Daniel was one among them. 

He was now a slave brought in a land where the God that was worshipped was not his own. He and his friends were given food from the kings table to eat.  This food might have been prepared in a manner outside of God's mandate for the Jews.  It might have been offered up to other gods.  I cannot say for sure but this I do know - Daniel said no.

My nephew asked us to imagine being captured and forced to eat something that you do not eat because you believe it to be against God's will?  What would you do?  Would you risk death or any other unknown consequence to say no?  Or would you just eat up and say God you understand?

"Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the King's delicacies..."(vs.8).  He made up his mind to stay true to God.  He was not going to bow down to the god of fear or his own stomach.

I know how hard this can be.  I know my struggles with food and so to me this is huge!!!!  He said NO.  He made a choice and stuck it out.  Now of course when you continue on you see how he humbly addressed this and asked for 10 days to proof that he would be better on his vegetables and water diet than any of the others who ate of the kings food.  God showed him favor and at the end of the test he and his friends were fatter and better than the rest. 

Listen, for you it may never be about food and this is more than that as well.  However it is about being determined, purposed in heart to remain undefiled.  We, you and I, must have a made up mind that we will not "eat" from the devils table.  His delicacies of sin are really to destroy us.  Yes, they may be sweet on the lips but deadly to the soul.  Oh my friends, let us say No without reservation or hesitation.  Like Daniel discovered, you cannot go wrong on the side of God.