I won!

Before I go any further, let me tell you that I was placed second in the talent show competition.  However, that is not what mattered.  I am more amazed at how God showed Himself strong and did what I know was not me but Him.  He touched the hearts of those that heard in a way that was supernatural.

I came into work the following day and was greeted my co-worker's warm embrace.  She said with great enthusiasm "You won!"  I replied with a smile, "No I didn't.  I came second."  In my mind I thought she misunderstood the results yesterday.  She looked at me and said "No. You won already."

I knew then that her statement was confirmation of what God wanted me to know.  I won. 

Throughout the day, several others told me that they felt chills, they were brought to tears, they were encouraged and they were all filled with gratitude.  They all seemed more at peace, less anxious and more motivated. 

Now I know, that my singing is not what you would call a professional.  My 18y/o have asked me on several occasions not to sing so I am well aware that I am not Yolanda Adams.  Yet, God can use any one willing to be an instrument in His hand.   

His spirit was what gave them chills; held their hearts; calmed their fears and gave them the message of yes you can.  Did I win?  In Him I did, yes I did.  I will say as Paul the apostle did, Thanks be to God who always causes us to triumph!

I

Yes I Can

I am sitting here, quaking on the insides from the anxiety I am feeling about what is coming up.  At my company, as a farewell to our CEO, there is a Talent Show/BBQ.  Yes, the question has been, “Do you have talent?”  So, I of course, with little thinking, signed myself up.  I would ask, “What was I thinking?”, but I wasn’t.  Hence, I am here on the day of, quaking.  My stomach is doing the dance it reserves for moments like these, as my eyes scan the clock, ticking away the minutes.

To add to the nervousness, I am being constantly asked by a fellow participant about my song, my time and everything else.  Also, I am getting unwanted information about other people competing.  I am wondering if this is something I should even be doing.  Why am I doing this?  It cannot be for the win of TWO vacation days.  That prize cannot be my end goal otherwise, I may just be disappointed.  No.  I am deciding right here, right now that this song has to be more than a means to an end.  My singing in this perverse world has to be light to those in darkness. I want my voice to sing out as a word of encouragement to those that are feeling defeated.  I must point them to the son, Jesus Christ.  I must let my light so shine before these men and women, so that they will see my good works and glorify the Father in Heaven.

Thank God for redirecting my attention to where it really belongs – on Him.  I remember writing that I am the re-source and He is the source. My voice to sing comes from Him.  I can trust Him to use my vocal chords for His purposes.  I can trust Him and know that I will not be put to shame.  I can allow myself to be emptied of all the superficial and selfish motives and instead be filled with His spirit, empowered to do His will.  Yes. I feel strengthened and there is an agreement inside me.  Interestingly enough, the song I chose is Yes You Can by Donnie McClurkin.  This is what I needed all along. This day that was so wonderfully made by my God is a day to rejoice.  He had this in mind for me all along!  My response is simply, Yes I Can!

It's so hard to say goodbye

This morning I went to church and received the news that my Pastor's daughter had passed away.  I missed one Sunday and felt like I was slapped in the face and then run over by a truck.  I felt a sadness wash over me, even as I sat in my seat with unrestrained tears.  She was my daughter too even though I never met her once.  I was one of many that prayed for this daughter of KRT.  I was one of many that will have to say good-bye and realize yet again, that it is so hard to do that.  It was the final chapter, and praying for her was no longer necessary.  She is now present with the Lord, being absent from her body.  It seems unfair, because I think she didn't get a chance to really live.  She didn't live long enough to marry, to work, to have children, to do what I think should have been her journey.  Yet, the plans God has for her has been fulfilled. 

I say this only because I know that He is God.  He is sovereign and we don't always understand His ways.  His word tells me that His plans will stand.  Yes, I hold on to it like a life line, and I need it now.  The temptation to say Lord, why have you forsaken us, as a church we prayed and believed.  Why did she have to die?  I don't know the answers to that.  However, I do believe that God's word has been fulfilled in the life that she did live, in the testimony that she lived out right to the end.  He knew her all along.  She was His daughter before being born to her parents, Jaimie and Michelle.  He formed her and knew her most inward parts. He has loved her all along and even now, his love surrounds her.

As I write this, I am so aware of all those who have lost loved ones.  I am aware that you are hurting beyond words and at times, it will seem unbearable.  For you, I pray that the God of all comfort will surround you.  I pray that even while the loss may be beyond your comprehension, that you will not loose faith in a God that loves you and yes, answers prayers.  He loves us so much, that only His best will He bestow unto us. 

Don't forget that even His own son died.  He endured great pain and suffering for us, for you, for me.  Jesus is well acquainted with our infirmities, he understands our sorrow and grief.  He extends to you His spirit to comfort and to heal you.

It is so hard to say goodbye, but just think one day we who are saved in Christ will be reunited with our loved ones in Christ who have gone ahead of us.

He is the Source and I am the Re-source

I have to first admit that I didn't think of my subject line.  Pastor W. Lewis from The Word Inc. sent out an email to the church and this was in it.  It grabbed my attention, and for a long time, I simply sat and soaked those words in "He is the source and I am the re-source".  I loved it.  I love that it reminded me that everything that I am able to do, is because of Him. I love the idea that I am a supply for others to use and I am replenished by my heavenly Father.  For me, I could once again see myself as Paul did, a drink offering being poured out completely for His glory.  I love it because it points to the One of whom all praises and glory and honour is due.  I love it still, because it reminds me that like the moon, my purpose is to reflect the Son (sun).

While I pondered all this and more, my gaze fell to the tree outside my office window.  God knows why he allowed me to have that seat, (coveted by all the others and yet was assigned just for me).  That tree has been used time and time again as an object lesson in God's teaching sessions with me. If you love nature then you would absolutely understand my excitement about a brown bark and green leaves.  I looked at the tree and immediately I was reminded that when I am connected to the source, I will be like a tree that is planted by the water.  I will have leaves that never wither. I will bear fruit in season.  I will prosper in all I do. (Psalm 1:1-3)

God has to be our Source otherwise we labour in vain.  The Psalmist said "Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labour in vain" Psalm 127:1.  Let us allow God to pour into us and use us for His purposes, pleasure and glory!

Changes

It appears that I have been away for much longer than I thought.  So many things have happened; so many things have changed and even now is changing, and will continue to change in the days ahead.  The company that I work for was bought out recently.  Change. 
We are seeing yet again, the changing of power from one CEO to another.  This change has brought with it the usual anxiety and stress that comes with uncertainty.  Many of my co-workers are wringing their hands and feeling overwhelmed and distressed.  If I had more adjectives to describe the general atmosphere I would continue, but I believe you get the picture. 
Changes are never usually easy for some, and yet there are others that will embrace this with enthusiasm and rise to the new challenges and opportunities. 

How do I feel?  Well, there is a peace that I have come to know and it is found in Jesus.  Chris Tomlin sings a song that says it perfectly for me "Though my heart and flesh may fail.  There's an anchor for my soul, I can say it is well." (I will rise).  I echo those words, "it is well" concerning me.  My boss did tell me that I should dust off my resume and begin to see what my options are, but I still believe it is well.  God provided this job for me and I trust Him to provide for me yet again.  His riches in glory is still more than enough to supply all my needs.

In the mean time, I have asked God to use me like an arrow to point others to his son, Jesus Christ.  I want my days ahead to count, as I stay anchored in my unchanging God.

I want you to know that you can have that peace and stability in Christ as well.  While changes are inevitable, God's covenant of peace remains.  Don't forget what He has said through the prophet Isaiah, "My plans will stand....I will do all that I intended".

Be assured that His promises are certain, stable and will be fulfilled!