I Am Enough

I woke up asking myself, "Am I enough?"  I am to speak on the prayer line devotion today - It's in your hands being the theme - and this question seems to be linking itself with it.  Is what I have in my hand enough.  It may have something to do with my image.  I seem to have the kind of face and look that begs people to say, "I want to do a make over on you!"  Every time I hear that I always wonder to myself "What is wrong with how I look now?"  It stirs up feelings of inadequacy and insecurity.  It reminds me again of reasons why I was cheated on and eventually dumped....I was not enough.


I know these are arrows sent my way to destroy me.  I know that these are weapons formed to bring me down.  I know these are lies sent to drown the truth.  I know I am enough.  I am enough in Christ.  In my hands, he has given me that which is unique to me.  A friend of mine says to me that greatness is in my hands.  She says the made in his image means that we are in the image of His greatness.  The bible says that Greater is in me than he that is in the world.  I am enough as He is more than enough. On my face he has shone his light and my countenance reflects his glory. Revlon 'aint got nothing on that. My insufficiencies are covered by his grace.  His grace is sufficient for me; it is enough and that makes me enough.




I don't know about you...where your mind is today. However let me bring you this truth - you are enough.  What you have added to what God has is enough.  You can be satisfied in this as you are not lacking in anything.  God has equipped you to live this life and say it with me - it is enough.  So my friend, go have a look in the mirror and speak out loud with confidence "I am enough".

Taste and see that the Lord is good

I sometimes brush my teeth with salt. Don't ask, it's a long story. Regardless I do this from time to time to enhance my brushing experience. However, I don't want to taste the salt in my mouth. So subconsciously I have kept my tongue away from the salt grains. I put the salt in but I never actually taste it.

It's funny because every time I do it I am reminded of the verse in Psalms 34:8:
"Taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the man that takes refuge in Him."  If I can avoid tasting salt even while it is in my mouth, have I been doing the same with God?

I wondered if I have been having Him all around me but never fully enjoying or taking Him all in? It's hard to explain what I mean but is He like salt in my mouth (life), that I never tasted. I don't know His goodness because I remain outside of who he is.

I don't know about any one else but I don't want a flavourless relationship.  I don't want to not experience for myself his goodness. I don't want to be so close and yet so far from Him. I want to taste him. It sounds weird but for a food lover like myself I get this verse. I want him to be my source of everything. He is the one that is good.

I get excited over good food. I enjoy tasting flavours that work and entice the buds to try more. God is better. So from here on out I will taste his goodness. I will eat of his word.  He is my good and won't give up carb.  He is my daily bread.

For Unto US A Child Has Been Given

On the morning of February 24th my family welcomed the birth of its newest member.  I was honoured to be there in the delivery room. I got to be apart of one of God's miracle and that in itself was a gift worth losing sleep over.

How soon however did that same gift become bitter. Conflict. Hurt. Anger. Misunderstanding.  These words now describe the experience surrounding my grandson's birth. Really it is sad how things seem to be developing. My heart literally hurt for him. He is at the centre of people who are so consumed with their own issues no one wants to back down. What about his feelings? Does he not have the right to have peace?

I say yes. He deserves peace in his life. He deserves the best and he deserves people who will put him above their need to be right. While I can't speak for anyone else I will be one who will stand on the side of R. Isaiah.  I will lay aside my feelings and issues and be the one who will advocate peace. I will decide to not stand or walk in offense. I will lay aside the weight of conflict and be silent even when I want to yell out at those I feel are in the wrong.

If you are reading this I ask that you pray. Pray for this child and all of us who will play a part in his life. God has a plan for him and he is not unaware of the days ahead. I am confident in Him who loves him better than anyone else. I am confident in Him who knew his name and who formed him with His hands.

For unto us a son was born. For unto us a child has been given. His name has been known by His heavenly Father. His life is in His hands.

What if we could show who we are?

I wonder how many of us walk around with a mask over our faces? 


I wonder how many of us smile and nod when inside buckets of tears are being filled from our misery?


Wouldn't it be great if we show who we were?


Wouldn't it be wonderful to just say how we feel?


Wouldn't it be freeing to just be real?


 


Go ahead and think about it. 


 


I have found that in the body of Christ, inside the walls of our churches we have people that are dying a silent death.  They put on masks of "I'm fine"  like MAC make-up on their faces.  Men, women and children are deserving of an Oscar award for the best performances of their lives.  How sad it is and yet how true. 


 


In a place where we all believe in the same God who says confess your sins before one another and pray for one another we hold back.  We are afraid that if they knew the truth of the lives we have and the issues we face that it would be a weapon against us.  Do you know how many people are dying alone through their crisis?  Women who have miscarried and kept it silent thinking it is to their shame.  Men who struggle in sexual sins and are afraid to confess and get help. 


 


Masks.  Chains.


Masks.  Pain.


 


I sigh because I am so weary of it all.


 


Added to this, we become even unwilling to confess our sins and discuss our issues with the One person we can be honest and vulnerable before.  God Himself.   Our father in Heaven invites us to come and reason together with Him.  Isaiah 1:18 says "...Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be white as snow..."  We can tell Him how we feel.  We can be real in His presence.  We can be free and clean from the stains of sin.  We can expose the lies by His truth, absorb His peace, draw strength from His joy.  We can be victorious.  We can be....


 


  


 


 


 

 

Children are a blessing

I am the mother of one child. 
A son.
He grew and grew and grew until now that son is about to become a Dad.
He will have for himself a child.
A son.




I have not always been kind in my thoughts toward this child of mine.
I have not always been celebratory of his life and those choices that culminate into his today.
I confess that I have spoken things that should have been kept between myself and God.
I have at times looked over the fence of my life and peeked at other children, wishing mine were just as they appeared to be.
I have not always considered that this child of mine was a good and perfect gift from God.




For the last five years my son and I have seemed to be at opposite ends. 
Our views are different. 
Our lifestyle is different. 
The silence between us can fill up North America - it is that big. 
I wonder often where did my little boy go?  I don't recognize this man he has become. 
His behaviour to me is strange and is not the training I have given to him. 
So I have let myself be excused for saying things that were truth in my eyes but without the grace my God requires.




I say this not to air my dirty laundry nor to shame myself or my son. 
I say it because I want to show the mercy of God to a wretch undone as one such as myself.


This morning my mom told me of a woman who had struggles with her daughters.  They too had taken the path of destruction for their lives and she whispered in her heart "my children are a disappointment."  The Lord said to her, "No, your children are a blessing."




As soon as my mom said those words my spirit testified that these words were for me. 
My child was and is a blessing.  I felt a release of a long held burden of guilt removed from my person. 
My son is a blessing. 
God was telling me that this should frame my thoughts regardless of what my eyes see or my ears hear or whatever may cause my heart to leap. 
He is a blessing!




Psalm 127:3 says he is not only a blessing but a gift from God.  The miracle in this story is that while I was typing this up my son came into my room.  He kissed my cheek and began to speak.  The silence was broken and we spoke as we did when he was 16 for more than a few minutes. 
God moved upon our hearts and produced good from my obedience. 


So I say with confidence in the word of God, my son and your child are a blessing and a gift from God.

Love while you still can

My dad passed away some years ago.  To be honest, it has been more years than I even realized.  Over twenty years I believe.  He was a good man; as good as could be for a man.  He was a hard worker, kind and tender hearted, a friend to others and a cheerful giver.  His legacy to us is to be a person that takes care of family.   I can understand why my mom has refused to take off her wedding band and refuses to re-marry despite my many conversations that she should. 

Have you ever heard that hind sight is 20/20?  All those things that I wrote about my Dad I have come to realize after he was no longer with us.  I was able to see him clearly only when I reflected on the yesterdays I had already passed through.  What brought this on?  It was a surgery and many hours in a waiting room.

My sister was having surgery.  Coincidentally, this surgery would mirror one that my dad had so many years ago.  It made me think of him in a new light.  He had to have a bag at his side as his intestines were damaged.  The difference between my sissy and my Dad is this – he went back out to work soon after.  He didn’t have benefits that allowed him to stay home for as long as it took for him to recover.  His return to work was more than likely before he was ready.  His whole way of life had changed and he didn’t have the time to process it.  Why?  He was an independent owner operator of a truck and he had a family that depended on him to support them.  He was the sole provider in the household.  We depended on him to work.  He did not shirk his responsibilities but embraced them and valiantly did what he should as a husband and a Dad.

My regret is this, that I failed to see this when it mattered most.  We missed the remarkable effort it took and didn’t ascribe to him the appreciation and gratitude he deserved.  For me there are no more chances as he is long since gone.  However, the lesson can be applied to today.  Look around you my friends and see what you have denied to others in your life.  Give them the blessings, the roses, the praises and affirmation now – while they are alive and you still have a chance.  Don’t miss it.  So for those of you that are reading now, may I say this – I love you for taking the time.  I appreciate you.  I pray God’s blessing for you.

Romans 12:10

Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another;

1 John 3:18

Dear children, let's not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.

Today is the day

Today is my son's birthday. Twenty-two years ago I held him in my arms and thought what a beautiful babe.  I had such dreams for him.  Do you know what I mean?  Can you understand a mothers' dream?  Well that was me and is still me.  He finished an album. The Libra Tape (content is explicit) he calls it and proud of it he is right now.  He said he will be a star.  I smile even now for his enthusiasm. 


I'm proud of the man I know he is on the inside.  You might think this is a strange comment to make and I would agree.  You see, he's made some choices that I don't agree with.  He is living a life style that was not in my plans for him.  Yet, my love for him doesn't waiver.  No, in fact I love him even more. 

I love him in the mess.  I love him while he is still going to and fro. I love him even as he is broken.  I love him even while I cry over his choices.  I love him even when my heart struggles to believe that God will save him.  I love him. I love him because God has given me the grace to do so.  In fact even as I say all of these things I feel that love over me.  I am loved and so are you by a God who is Himself love.  He sets his love upon us even when we go astray.  His love is like no other we will ever experience.  This gives me pause...


So I will celebrate today.  I will sing a song of praise.  I will shout a hallelujah to the Lord above. I will declare that today is a good day.  I will continue to declare that which my eyes don't yet see. God has preserved life when death demanded payment.  So as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Today is the day to be glad.