Reflection - A Monologue by L Davis

Setting: A teenage girls bedroom, with a long full length mirror. Very early in the morning, quiet background.

Characters: Two girls that don’t look too different, both are wearing the same pyjamas just wearing them slightly different.

1: Christian Reflection    2: Feared Reflection

  Both: AHHHH

1: Why does this dream keep following me, I can’t seem to understand. I just gave my life to Jesus and I know I’ve made the right choice, but every night as I go to sleep I have this dream, this dream of who I used to be, of who I hated to be, of who took over who God wanted  me to be. Am I making wrong choices, am I not doing the right things? I feel like being a Christian is not who I’m set out to be, where do I draw the line, how do I erase my past. This dream makes me wonder, it really make me think.    Am I still making mistakes, Am I really who I say I am?

(Looks in the mirror at her reflection)

1: You see this is whose in my dream that girl I see right there, that girl who is hurt and filled with lots of fear. She hates herself, she hates her life she always wants lots more. So she changes who she is to be someone else. She wants to be like everyone she wants to always be seen, so she walks down the school halls ways and always has a smile, but little do they all know she is really in denial. She dresses to show her body, she dresses to show them all; all those who say they love her but don’t care about her at all. She tells herself she’s happy and talks to all those who do the same, and ignores all the people she knows will bring her nothing but shame.

2: I’m your reflection, I know you can’t be talking about me, my life is perfect my life is who YOU need to be. Stop listening to these Christians, stop letting them ruin your life why would you want to live like that,  that’s not much of a life. Your reflections lives HER OWN life, your reflection knows the truth. If God really loved you then why do you still hurt?  He brings confusion, he allows you to still fight, if God is so perfect them why is the world the way it is? This is your life now, there’s NO turning back, God doesn’t want you, your life is under attack. You’ve sinned, you’ve went against his “word” but who cares now you’re as free as a bird. No one around to judge you or tell you what to do, this is the life to live, this is you.

1: But what about...

2: What about nothing, now you can have fun.

1: How can this be fun? If I don’t feel it is right?

2: Don’t you worry reflection this is how it starts, you got to be a little scared that’s what life is about.

1: But God tells us to be fearless.

2: Ah don’t listen to what God said, God is trying to hurt you and then just send you to hell.

1: But God says he loves us and wants us to be with him.

2: So then why do you feel like this, why can you still see me?

1: (Silence)

2: Because trust me reflection I am who you’re supposed to be.

1: Maybe you’re right maybe I can never erase my past.

2: Sorry reflection but hell is where you belong at last. But hey don’t let it bother you don’t let it sound bad, think about all the friends that will join you , just let heaven pass. I am who you need to be I am the only one, I am what really loves you, I am what always wins. Forget about your baptism you know it was all a joke, start living the fast life take off that holy cloke. You can go to parties, you can be with the crew, forget about this “Jesus” if he is even really true. You can never be “born again” come on use scientific facts, once you’ve sinned that is, you can never go back.

1:  I thought I was suppose to live for Jesus I thought my pastor was right.

2: Ah would you stop already, and listen to what I say. This Christian life is dangerous, its makes you feel bad inside.

1: But I know Jesus loves me this just can’t be right.

2: IF YOU MENTION THIS JESUS AGAIN WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO FIGHT! HE IS NOT REAL REFLECTION AND IM NOT TELLING YOU AGAIN, WE WILL ALL CELEBRATE IN HELL WHEN WE DIE IN THE END! STOP LIVING A DREAM, STOP LIVING A LIE! BE YOURSELF REFLECTION BECAUSE YOU ARE ME!

1: No. I was you.

2: You were me? Have you forgotten about that night? When you lost everything, gave up everything , turned your back on “God,”  all in one night, one second, all done by one choice. Don’t act like you’re not me, like you’re any different, as if you are a good person. That was the worst thing you have ever done. Don’t try and pretend it’s forgotten, God will never forgive you for that, YOU SINNED REFLECTION! Your body is supposed to be a “temple” remember, suppose to be respected, protected, pure! THAT DOESN’T APPLY TO YOU NOW REFLECTION YOU’VE FAILED, YOU’VE SINNED, YOU TURNED YOUR BACK ON GOD! AND YOU WANTED TO, YOU WANTED TO REFLECTION!

1: You’re right, I did sin I was so ashamed, I felt like nothing.

2: You were nothing; because God made you feel that way he made you feel guilty. Why would you want to serve a God like this, who makes you feel guilt, who makes you feel bad? Turn your back on him like he has on you, if God loved you wouldn’t have felt the way you did. 

1: (silence)

(Circles her)

2: YOU CAN NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN REFLECTION! NEVER! (Echo)

1: NO! You need to leave reflection you have shown me the truth now you have shown me how powerful THE DEVIL can be! I REBUKE YOU REFELCTION IN THE NAME THE NAME OF JESUS! YOU WILL NO LONGER TAKE OVER MY LIFE; YOU WILL NO LONGR INVADE MY DREAMS, MY CHOICES, MY FAITH!

(Reflection two starts to back away, number 1 falls to her knees)

1: God I come before you now, I admit that I have been a sinner I got baptised and was unsure about my choice unsure about what it meant, I hadn’t forgiven myself for that night. I hadn’t forgiven myself for every mistake I’d ever made. I repent God and I will no longer allow my past what I believed was still me, what I believed would always be me destroy me. Joshua 1:5 says I will be with you, just as I was with Moses I will never leave you, I will never desert you, I am the lord your God I will be with you everywhere you go. I WILL NO LONGER TURN MY BACK ON YOU GOD, NO LONGER LET ME PAST BREAK ME, NO LONGER BE MY REFLECTION... I love you God but more importantly I know you love me. Thank you for those dreams God, because although they might have hurt me it gave me a chance to see you in a brighter light in the end.

(she stands up)

1: GOOD BYE REFLECTION I AM NO LONGER YOU, I REMOVE YOU FROM MY LIFE, I WILL NO LONGER LOOK AT YOU AND YOU WILL NO LONGER LOOK BACK AT ME. THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU SHOWN ME TONIGHT BUT I WILL NO LONGER NEED YOU HERE, I BREAK YOU NOW AND REMOVE YOU FROM MY LIFE IN THE NAME OF JESUS!

(BIG BANG as she breaks the Mirror, Demons come dressed in black and remove the reflection from the scene)

Spiritual Asthma by N. Ruddock

Anyone who has asthma is unfortunately familiar with the feeling of “air hunger” - the inability to take a deep breath and the overwhelming anxiety that accompanies that feeling.  Fortunately there are several medications available to treat asthma, of which there are two major types.  There is the “rescue inhaler” which is an inhaled medication used to treat acute symptoms, when that feeling of air hunger arises.  There are also “maintenance” medications that you use when you have no symptoms whatsoever.  This prevents frequent attacks and decreases your need for the rescue inhaler.

I think sometimes our prayer life mimics these drugs.  We often neglect our spiritual growth and development when everything in our lives is going well (our maintenance meds).  As a result, we have more frequent attacks (by the devil) and experience turmoil, confusion and despair when unexpected events occur (air hunger).  It is at these times that we fall to our knees and ask God for His grace, mercy and intervention to help us through our crisis (rescue drugs).

If we strive for more consistency in our prayer lives we will not become flustered at life’s every turn.  We will have less need for rescue inhalers or a quick spiritual fix.  This will assure a healthier, more stable spiritual life and help us to function as more productive beings. 

Let us learn to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17).

The day Summer Came - and went...

The calendar rolled around to June 21st, as it does every year (at least for the last thirty plus years I have been aware of it).  I heard the radio announcer mention that it was the first official day of summer.  I laughed to myself as again (and this felt like Deja Vu) I thought "Really?" I started looking for summer from the last day of April.  I have somehow convinced myself that May is a good month to bring out the sun, and all the summer attributes - warmth, bbqs and did I mention warmth.  I spend a good portion of winter, looking ahead to the day when snow is a distant memory and jackets are only in the closet - not on my back, arm or any other body part. 

As I stare through the glass window, not quite two days since summer's official start I feel chilled to the bone.  Rain drops dance along the parking lot, the clouds have covered the sun, the blue frame of the skies have literally turned to grey.  The effect is further compounded as cool air from the A/C blows from an unseen vent in the building.  Summer came and then it went - at least it seems that way to me.

I am tempted to say like my God-daughter "that's so sad", followed by great howls of pretend sobbing.  I wont, because in this there is a lesson.  Enjoy the moments God has given you. Every one counts and should be lived to it's maximum fullness. How many moments have I wasted in the winter, looking into the future and denying myself the gift of the present? This is the day that the Lord has made, I should rejoice and be glad in it.  Are you like me?  Do you wish away each day, hoping for a better tomorrow?  Do you keep your eyes so focused on the next thing, that the current becomes lost in the past? In everything there is balance.  Just as we should not focus only on the things gone, we ought not to focus only on things to come.  There is life in the right here and now.  Let us make a conscious effort as of this moment - to enjoy God's present of now.

From the pages of Faith Five

The Lord Sees You 

My son and I were at the zoo earlier this month, celebrating his 19^th Birthday. As we walked around, enjoying the different animals, we came up to a group of kids that were obviously with their teacher. As they gathered around her and as we approached, we could hear the frantic plea in her voice as she asked each child the same question, “What was he wearing this morning? Did he have his name tag on? Who was he walking with?”

Obviously she had misplaced one of her charges and in such a big place to get lost in, this was no laughing matter. I did feel compassion for her because unless that child was found and found quickly her whole day was about to turn into a nightmare.

But life is like that sometimes. We all have lost someone or felt that someone forgot us and that we were all alone dealing with our situations. Those who we thought would be there are just not there when we need them the most.

In Gen. 16:7-15, we see the encounter of Hagar, the Egyptian slave, running from her master's house and sitting by a spring in the desert. I can see her sitting there, feeling completely sorry for herself, pregnant with Abram’s child and being ill-treated by her mistress.

Now she is homeless tired and fed-up with being ill-treated by people who serve a God she knows nothing of. The child is growing and her future looks very bleak. Does anyone really care what’s going to happen to her? Depression and hopelessness wash over her like a tsunami. She may have wanted to kill herself and get deliverance from her pain. But the baby on the inside is moving and she cannot bring herself to end it all there.

Dear friends, if we are  truly honest with ourselves the best of us get weary of life's unfair deals and we sometimes entertain the thought to escape it at whatever cost. We have all thought at some point that this relationship has no future or the bills just never stop coming. Maybe it's that deep inner fear that speaks to you reminding you that you are not qualified to do what you think God has called you to do.

It is so easy for us to allow those negative voices to trip us up and keep us in a state of “Egyptian slavery”. But Hagar had to learn that it was not her who made her qualified. It was whose seed she was carrying.

The angel of the Lord came looking for her and found Hagar by a spring of water in the wilderness. I would like to remind you, dear friends, that the Lord knows where we are. He has no problem in finding your spot and ministering to you right where you need it. Hagar’s conversation with the Lord ends with her naming the Lord El Roi. It’s the only time in the Bible that the Lord is called El Roi, “The One who sees”.

Hagar’s God is the One who numbers the hairs on our heads and who knows our circumstances, past, present, and future.  When you pray to El Roi, you are praying to the One who knows everything about you.

Psalm 33:13-15:

From heaven the LORD looks down and sees all humankind; from his dwelling place he watches all who live on earth—he who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do.

Even the most watchful parent must sleep. But Scripture makes it clear that God never slumbers; never looks one way while we head off in another; he never misses a second of what is happening on earth.
El Roi, a God so watchful that He is said to note even when the smallest sparrow falls to the ground. This is the God who watches over you today, whether or not you recognize His presence. Aware that you may sometimes find yourself in desolate places, He is always near, helping you find a path through troubles, working out His plans for your future.

So rejoice, dear ones, I come to speak to you in the name of the Lord on the way to Shur and say, Fear not! Face that situation! Your God is with you and your future is not governed by others, but by a faithful all-seeing God.

My prayer for you: Dear Heavenly Father who is El Roi, the One who Sees all things and knows all things. We are never lost to your all-seeing eyes. May my brothers and sisters, who read this article be filled with hope in You that Your Almighty grace may rest upon them today. Help them to see you in the midst of every difficult situation and receive Your power to overcome in Jesus' Name. AMEN.

Apostle Anthony Nelson

Team Leader

FFFM: To STRENGTHEN, ENCOURAGE & RELEASE Leaders
Tel: (905) 427-7438
http://www.apostolictraining5.org/

Never Would Have Made It Without YOU!

I cannot help myself, I must tell you of how good God is to my family. Yesterday my sister spent from morning till night in pain.  She has purposed that she would not take any pain meds, as she would normally have done.  For years Kal has been on heavy narcotics because a back injury she sustained when she was a little girl.  But this time around, as she was doubled over with pain she wanted something much more than she did the relieve. She wanted her body back.  She had recently discovered that the meds she had been taking was a direct contributor to other ailments she had been suffering.  She had gotten all the side effects apparently, and was now determined to undo years of damage.  
I prayed silently every time I entered the room.    I could hardly stand to watch her suffer as she was, I was helpless.  But this is not about me, as much as it is about her.  She grind through the pain.  I sometimes found her on the floor, on the chair, on the bed searching for a position to ease her pain.  Tears squeezed from the corners of her eyes.  My heart broke for her.  
She moaned and the sound broke something inside me.  I think now of people who live in daily pain.  I feel for you.  I really do.  The closest I have come to that was when I had an ear infection that brought me to tears.  
So I watched on, offering soup and anything else I could give.
The day wore on and finally retired itself, giving way to the night.  It was then that the answers to prayer manifested itself.  She appeared once again to breathe without the labouring sounds of pain, straining every breath.  I went in and said, "You made it."  
Right on cue, the sounds of Marvin Sapp punctuated my sentence, "Never would have made it...without you!" I smiled, and felt myself choke up with unshed tears.  This was her favorite song, she listened that CD out.  Here it was playing from the TV, like the closing song to dramatic movie.  Never would've made it without You, he sang.  God was with her, and she made it. 

In Loving Memory of Beverley Wilson

What would you do, if you still could? That is the question that my friend has written on her ALS page.  It begged of me an answer, to which I had none.  Where were all those ideas I had?  Where was my passion for life?

This walk-a-thon is in honour of a lady that had passion and vitality.  I remembered her love of a good joke.  Even when she could not speak with clarity she would laugh with gusto.  Bevie, as she was affectionately called, lived with ALS for more years than I thought possible.  And she lived. She didn’t curl up and die, but she orchestrated those around her and ruled her home from her bed.  I remember her husband coming in and asking her where some item was (and she was not mobile).  Sure enough, she was able to tell him just where to find it. I admit, I was marveled by her. How did she do it?

She encouraged people, planned parties, gave directions and kept her family centered. She was the nucleus of the family, the life of every-one’s party.  She was strong in character and so brave.  She faced her challenges with little complaint and up to the last moment of consciousness worshipped and praise the one true God.  

She remains today a heroine – for me and perhaps for you.

What would I do while I still could?  I would live like Bev Wilson, with passion and purpose. 

Give to this wonderful cause today, whether you knew her or not.  Give just because it may be the miracle someone else needs today.

A message from her daughter Danielle:

---

Hello.

As many of you know, in 2008 I lost my mother, Beverley Wilson, to Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS or Lou Gehrig's disease). This Saturday (June 11), I will be participating in the WALK for ALS to help find a cure for this disease. If you would like to make a donation, please use the link below or see me before Friday. All donations will go to the ALS Society of Ontario.

Please feel free to forward this email to anyone who may be interested in making a donation in memory of my mother.

Thanks for your time.


I’m participating in the WALK for ALS and I’d like to ask for your support.

ALS is a fatal neuromuscular disease with no known cure, cause or effective treatment. The WALK for ALS supports provincial ALS societies and their programs to help people with ALS and their families, and the ALS Society of Canada’s investment in breakthrough research…help and hope!

It is my hope that you will consider sponsoring me by making a secure online donation using your credit card. Click on the link below to donate now...

http://my.e2rm.com/personalPage.aspx?SID=3039461&Lang=en-CA

Thank you for your support!
Danielle

P.S.  Here are some additional ALS facts:
* Two to three Canadians die of ALS each day
* Approximately 3,000 Canadians currently live with ALS
* In at least 90% of cases, ALS strikes individuals with no family history of the disease
* Between 5-10% have a familial form of ALS, devastating families for generations
* ALS can strike anyone, regardless of age, sex or ethnic origin
* While the usual age of onset is between 55 and 65, many younger people, often parents, are afflicted
* Nearly 90% of people with ALS died within 5 years of diagnosis. While some live longer, others die within a few short months
* ALS affects the whole family
* ALS is a costly disease - emotionally, physically, and financially.

For more information on how YOU can become a walker yourself, please visit http://www.walkforals.ca/

Take care.

Poverty by Ashelle

                                                                                

To look around to see different races, to see their problem in their faces

The sorrow over whelms me. My eyes are shedding rivers of tears,

To see this little girl, see her belly swell; struggling with a hard life, no food to survive.

I’m sorry.

To see her, struggling from diseases; her body tries to fight then wheezes

To witness this frown in her brown eyes; Imagine that she’s only 9.

She prays daily, begging God for a miracle for her family.

“Dear God, please help me to survive, help me get the food that I need,

that my mother can’t provide. Help me through the depression stage

that has been increasing in size. Please God help me through

This poverty that controls my life!”

She cries every night to live life, but no one has the money

To buy her a flight to this free country, where she would have rights.

At thirteen years old he is stealing, bringing  tears to his mother’s eyes

That has her heart ripping,the pain so excruciating. But in his mind, it’s not easy

Having nothing, it’s like an internal war, you’re not losing anything.

As smart as he is, it doesn’t make a difference, to the cops he is a black boy,

He is accustomed to the suffering. They brought him in, for questioning.

They came to the conclusion that he was not shoplifting; it was not as they suspected

They called his mother to pick him up, but they didn’t realize their life was so rough

Meanwhile she is at work making her sales; his mother works hard, yet she is hardly living and the saddest part of it all is that they’re losing a game that they shouldn’t be playing. She prays “Jesus please help my son and I, help us receive the money that I am missing. I work all day, and make barely enough for my mortgage. My son has gone days without anything in his stomach, I’m living in poverty, and it’s not healthy. Please Jesus; bring us into a better place”

She lives a life that is full of strive, for she is an un-wealthy person and not too healthy. She was 22 when she got pregnant, and excited to be. When she took a blood test to confirm her good news, other things showed up that crashed her views. She was diagnosed with AIDS, and pregnant, now deprived of that once that special moment.

Five months later her body starts developing.  She is sitting in depression, thinking that she has to pass this on to her baby.  To think of this problem, is like falling straight down and breaking both knees begging the doctors to help; it is so much till you decide to leave She prays “Heavenly Father please don’t let my baby HATE me! Help our relationship grow tighter than it should be, and if it be possible, at this point, please prevent her from getting my disease. My life is going downhill, my walls have crumbled, and now I’m stuck in this thing called poverty that’s oh so humble.”

The little Italian girl found out today that she has AIDS

Her 1^st thought, “My mommy HATES me.”

All men are like grass

Who Am I?

This morning (and I am tearing up again) I was listening to this song by Casting crowns.

He sang:

“Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth Would care to know my name Would care to feel my hurt Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star Would choose to light the way For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am

But because of what You've done

Not because of what I've done

But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading

Here today and gone tomorrow

A wave tossed in the ocean

Vapor in the wind

Still You hear me when I'm calling

Lord, You catch me when I'm falling

And You've told me who I am

I am Yours, I am”

I thought of the words and I actually remembered the first time I became aware of the verse For, "All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall…” (1 Peter 1:24). All men are like grass, we wither and we die But God...

I felt like a stamp of ownership was upon me, so even in this mortality I belong to the one who created this earth.  I of course just started to cry.  I belong to God.  Not my because of what I have done or who I am, but because of what He has done and who He is.  I belong to God.

Enjoy the time with your family...for all men are like grass and they will fade away in this fragile life they have been given.  Their frames will not last forever, but their souls will in Jesus Christ.