He is worth it all

Today I went to church.  I was glad to be in the house of the Lord.  I was glad to hear the word that God would use to speak to me and with great expectations I was not disappointed. Pastor Jamie picked up the story from Matthew 2.  Mary and Joseph had just had a baby boy, Jesus, the Saviour.  It was not in a time of comfort and joy, but in the days of King Herod.  A king, I learned who was a "bad dude".  he reigned terror upon his subjects.  His heart was not for God and he killed ruthlessly as his will demanded.  This was the time in which the Price of Peace was born; a Saviour was born unto us this day.

The news of his birth caused Herod to be greatly distressed and all of Jerusalem with him.  Pastor asked the question that I didn't think of: why would all of Jerusalem be distressed as well?  Simple, if Herod was distressed then he would make everyone else around him feel his displeasure.  They were right to feel as they did, because many lives were lost because Jesus was born.  It was at that time that all the sons of the Jews, ages 2 and under were killed.  This was the time the life giver was born; a Saviour was born unto us this day.

As the message continued, Pastor Jaime spoke about Joseph.  Have you ever given much thought to Mary's husband, Joseph?  I know I haven't.  The bible says that he was a good man.  His fiancé was pregnant and he "...was a good man and did not want to disgrace her publicly, so he decided to break the engagement quietly."  (Matt 1:19).  We know that he was visited by angels on separate occasions.  The first time, "...an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream....  "do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife." (Matt 1:20).  Matthew again records in chapter 2 "After the wise men were gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream.  "Get up!" Flee to Egypt." On both those times Joseph did what he was told.  He didn't argue, but he did exactly as instructed despite the immediate cost. 

Think about it.  He was not married to Mary, and everyone knew, but Mary's pregnancy would be made known in just about three months if not before.  His reputation might have been compromised as the consummation of the bethrowed would be frowned upon.  An engagement was serious and ending it would be like a divorce, but you were still not expected to be intimate until after the ceremony of marriage.  He was told to flee to Egypt and this meant starting all over again.  He would have find a place to live, a job to provide for his family, and his connection to his family would now be severed.  Yet, as he left behind all those things and maybe even more, he had with him the hope of the world.  Everything he lost was not comparable to this child.  This child was worth it all. 

Pastor's message was wrapped up in this last statement, if we lose it all and still have Christ we have everything.  Christ is our all in all. He is our help, our strength, our hope, our peace, our joy, our love.  He is Jesus, the Messiah, the Saviour. 

Teach us to realize the brevity of life

I was reading through the book of Psalms and came across Psalm 90:12. It said "Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so we may grow in wisdom."  Immediately my mind began going through the list of people I have known that have died from one thing or another.  Life is brief, and yet we live as though we have forever. 

We think that there will always be a tomorrow.  So, we put off the things that ought to be done today until that infamous tomorrow.  What if tomorrow never comes?  What if this moment is all that we have left in this earthly life?  What if the chances we have to do the right thing, forgive, laugh, love, surrender to God, is right now because there is no tomorrow?  There is a song that the Winnans sing called Tomorrow and the lyric is "Tomorrow, I'll give my life tomorrow..." but tomorrow may be too late.

The Psalmist asks God to teach us to realize that this life is brief.  If we knew how little time we had, we would live our lives differently.  We would not procrastinate on things that were important.  We would appreciate the moments we do have.  We would treasure the gift of our lives.  We would be watchful over our words.  We would spend less time worrying and more time rejoicing.  We would bend our knees to Jesus Christ.  We would grow in wisdom.

Lord, teach us to realize that life is short and show us Lord how to live it.

Merry Christmas To You

Today we did something we have never done before at my family's dinner party.  We listened to a sermon and then prayed as a family.  The morning began with the traditional family breakfast.  We ate and laughed a lot.  We were excited just to be together, and it was a time of enjoying the love of each other.  It was a gift in itself that we were all thankful to receive.

Dinner came with a grand spread of turkey, chicken, beef, salads, and other delights.  We saw faces we hadn't seen in years, had some new members (the more the merrier) and sat to enjoy the bounty of God's provision.  We played our games with the usual competitiveness and passionate disagreements.  We had fun, laughing and talking loud enough to resurrect Lazarus again from death.  It was after this that we changed the program.  My sister put on the hat of Reverend, and blessed us with a God inspired message.  Then she prayed for the families; marriages and the youth.  It was the right thing to do, and I believe with all my heart that God will honor her obedience.  He will also do the work in her and through her.  He will perform miracles in our lives.  He will make His face shine upon us and grant us His peace.

My friend, God's peace is given to you this day.  His peace surpasses whatever you thought it was before in any situation.  He has given you life today in the birth of his son.  His son is the reason for the season - give your heart to him today.

Giving God Lip Service?

Am I just giving God lip service?

Is my heart really for Him?

Do I turn to him only when I am in trouble?

Do I do right by others?

Are my motives honorable and God driven?

Am I worshipping idols of money, family, friends or self?

Do I really love God with all my heart and soul?

 

Today I wrote these questions down as they popped into my head. It was triggered by listening to Psalm 78 this morning.  (I listen to the WORD as I get ready as a way to multi-task and finish my commitment to read/listen to the entire book of Psalms).

Psalm 78:36

New Living Translation (NLT)

³⁶ But all they gave him was lip service;
they lied to him with their tongues.

 

This verse stood out to me and got me thinking about myself.  I love that because I know that God is talking to me, getting my attention on some things that need work; His work.

 

As I mulled the questions over, I had no answers that popped immediately in my head. This is when I got this email from my cousin with these verses:

 

This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 1 John 4:9-10

We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God's one and only Son. John 3:16-18

He loves me whether or not I love Him.  Yes, I love him, but I only love him because He loved me first. The author of the blog, Gwen Smith, describes God’s love as a bridge.  His loves comes across to me and invites me to Him.  He spans the mess of my life, my rebellious nature that caused our separation, and says here is the bridge, come across to my eternal life and stand without condemnation.  His love gives me the gift of life through His son. His love handles my questions and gives me a picture of authenticity.

 

His love is beyond anything I will ever be able to find in a person or thing. His love was before me, and it will remain after me.

 

It is true; I don’t love him nearly enough and I wish I did.  It is true; there are times when I say I love you God but it is only with my lips and in my heart, He knows it is a lie.  It is true; there are times that my heart is hard towards Him and what He wants me to do.  It is all true, yet, He loves me anyway. 

 

The song writer says How many times do I go against your will and yet you still call my name?  I say, God, thank you for loving me anyways.

 

The verses I have read have acted like a tenderizer to my heart and I am determined to make my life about HIM. My friend told me on Wednesday that I go to church like he would go to a club, all excited and can’t wait to get in.  I want my entire being to be laced with that excitement – can’t wait to get into the presence of a God who loves me anyway.

Am I the only one?  Is this you as well?  God loves you anyway.

Silence and Simplicity

Today I cracked open a new Cd. This one was more special than the rest.  My little “sister”, Dionne Wilson, was the artist and composer.  This was her dream that she finally delivered.  She was pregnant with these ideas and creativity for a long time, and she did go through the pains of birth.  Like everyone who has ever gone through labour, the effort and hardship is ultimately worth it.  Her album is titled Beautiful Exchange and that is exactly how it can be described.

 

I can only tell you my reaction to the songs.  I listened to the first track and nodded in agreement. Time to change indeed, I thought.  The second track hit me unexpectedly; my reaction was immediate and it was gut wrenching.  “Come unto me in silence and simplicity” she sang. I knew that this was an invitation to me from my Heavenly Father.  I knew that He was calling me to Him, away from the distractions that recently have caused my eyes to shift focus.  I knew that He found me, when I wasn’t even looking for Him this very ordinary Monday morning.  I knew that His voice was behind her voice, and He was calling me “Come unto me”…we don’t have to say a word… but let my heart make that call.  I heard myself sobbing and I am tearing up again, because I am amazed by Him.  Why does He come after me? Why does He seek me out?  Why do I matter to Him so much?  Why does He love me?

 

There is the temptation to feel guilty, because I know myself and I tell you the truth, I don’t always think right, act right, talk right or walk right.  I felt guilty because I have not been in a Sunday service for so long (my sister has been home).  I felt guilty because I have read through so many books and still have not finished the book of Psalms.  The temptation to feel guilty is always overwhelming.  Yet, here He is, knowing all of my shortcomings and beyond and calling me to Come in Silence and Simplicity. 

 

I would like you to hear His invitation to you today as well. Perhaps you are distracted by the cares of this world. Maybe you feel that you have gone too far to ever face Him again. Maybe your issue is that you just don’t know how to come unto God. Maybe you don’t like being so transparent and vulnerable. However, He is not into fuss and fluff – silence and simplicity.  Come if you are weary. Come just to be in His presence and allow your heart to make the call of whether or not you speak.  Whatever you do while in His presence, just “Come”.  He invites you today Beloved…Just come.

 

I'm Thankful

In the USA, many families are preparing to have dinner together to celebrate THANKSGIVING!  Usually this is the time when we start reflecting on what we have and what we are thankful for having or not having.  I wish, that we did this daily. I wish we took an inventory of our blessings and gave thanks to our Father in Heaven.  I wish we didn't wait for a party or a day but where we lived a life that was filled with gratitude.

My friend, Jodi, feels the same way.  She wrote this to me today:

It’s Wednesday…. Hump Day (who came up w/this I don’t know) – 2 more days left for some and for others it’s Thanksgiving Break!

 I am thankful for the opportunity to own a home and by the Grace of God maintain it. I am thankful for:

        i.            the vehicle I drive

      ii.            family and good friends

    iii.            an amazing church family

    iv.            food on the table

      v.            money for the wants (the things we things we just have to have, but really don’t need the majority of the time – a caffeinated beverage, piece of clothing etc. etc.) – More saving is on the horizon.

    vi.            Health and strength. So many are going through a lot, and though I need to lose weight, I am thankful there are not pressing health issues affecting me.

  vii.            The ability to work, to walk, to see, to speak, and feel ……

viii.            The ability to read, to travel, to eat and smell

     ix.            For the ability to take care of my father…. Though frustrations or better yet annoyances may arise J - I am so thankful I am able to take him to his varied doctor’s visits etc. I see so many who are left alone, not able to answer the questions being asked, or sitting there for hours at a time waiting on a family member to pick them up.

       x.          Dad and the fact he remembers family members names, though his dementia will increase as times goes on… He is able to exercise (he doesn’t saunter might I add…. It’s literally speed walking), he bathes and dresses himself and he is just dad/Grandpa Lloyd/LG/Sam/Uncle Lloyd or Uncle Sam/. Lloyd Gardner as he says with pride when he meets someone new.

     xi.        An amazing sister and what she brings to the family.

   xii.      Everything small, large and in between and the many freedoms we have.

She prompted this thanksgiving party for me.  I am thankful for this life I have been living. I get to live this life out, when so many others have been buried along the way.  I am thankful that I have been blessed to give birth to a son that I love and treasure so very much.  I am thankful that I have this amazing family that surrounds me and supports me and loves me. 

Now, I turn the floor over to you.  What are you thankful for?  Isn't it time to take stock of what you have been blessed to have, feel, do, or not have, not feel and not do?

Let us be thankful always!

Troubled Waters are a Sign of Miracles

I am going to share with you the comfort God gave me through an email from my pastor (I thank God for him).  I was feeling very burdened by the weight of family and friends who are going through diverse issues. My friend in Memphis continues to find it hard adjusting to life with a baby that is born with medical issues.  My son's grand-mother in Florida is battling cancer. My sister is still struggling through almost 3years of back pain that has made her disabled.  The people in the Philippines have suffered such a great loss from a Typhoon they named Yolanda. Soldiers have died in war and I felt the loss for the families remembering them today.  I burst into tears because I felt utterly useless, limited and incapable of offering help that I thought would be worthy.  I was overwhelmed and shared this with my pastor:

Can I tell you that I am not handling this very well?  I have not spoken to this woman since Rori’s issue with the law. She said some mean things to me and I just never bothered to mend the fence. Now I am hearing this and have spoken to her since I heard but I feel like I waited for something bad to happen before I made a move.  It is just not a good feeling. 

I also feel like so many people are burdened, even the ones who have not said anything and their names are not on any  prayer list.  It just feels like so much is happening and I am helpless. 

My friend from Memphis is hurting so much. The Franklin’s are hurting.  Kal is hurting and the list goes on and on.

I honestly don’t know how you do it – hearing all of this stuff and still be able to stand up. 

I am even crying for people I don't know in the Philippines, Soldiers who have died, and everything else in between.

I saw your response and burst into tears because I feel like I just added one more thing to your plate and here I am again – adding more.

I know Pastor that God is still God in all of this…I guess I am just sad right now because I feel like I am limited.

He did not join me in the pity party I was having, even though I invited him to it.  What he did say confirmed for me what God was whispering to me.  God gently reminded me of the report source. He asked me "whose report do you believe?"  I was silently crying even as I responded "Yours.  I believe the report of the Lord."  Then came the response from my pastor that sealed the deal, encouraged my heart and quieted the voice of fear and anxiety:

"I feel your pain. 

"Troubled Waters are a Sign of Miracles" whether we are moved to make amends, pray, give, etc. Miracles are sometimes right at our feet but we fail to see it because our vision is blocked by all our circumstances. Just take a moment and push through the crowd to see Jesus and reach out and touch the hem of His garment.

 

The hem is at the feet and speaks of humility which in itself is a miracle for humans but brings favour which brings miracle/miracles. 

Do what the Spirit of God prompts you to do.

 How do I deal with all that God has called me to bare? Trusting Him whole heartedly knowing that He and He alone bore all of the stuff everyone is going through including my stuff and I have to cast "all my cares on Him"  

Please don't feel that you are adding to my burden because I give it over to Him.

 The only time I feel burdens being added is when I see the lost, the backslidden and believers who know what is right and they are not obedient. This burdens God too for often He is grieved by our actions or inaction.

Take heart."

Maybe your circumstances are more or less than mine.  But I believe we all need to know that Troubled Waters are a sign of Miracles and as such we ought to Take Heart.  Be encouraged today, for surely it will not always be this way.

God Bless you.

I am learning

How does a parent watch their child go down a path of destruction and stand aside to allow them to figure it out on their own?  How does a parent stop shielding their child from the cold reality of this world, to allow them to live and function in it?  How does a parent respond to an adult child that says I am starving?  I put these questions out there because I don’t yet have the answers to them.  I am learning and perhaps ten years from today I will be able to respond.  Today, I am not there. 

My son has been living in Calgary, AB since July of this year.  He bought his ticket, one way, and said “Mom, I am moving to Calgary.”  I just realize that I have an empty nest.  While he has been away, I must say I have had to allow him to grow up.  James MacDonald once said that when kids are young, spanking them will not hurt you as much as it does when they are older and you have to watch them making mistakes that you cannot prevent.  That rips your heart out more than anything else.   I took a look at his bank account last week and saw his spending activity.  I saw how he spent money on fast food, clothing, phone repairs and taxi cab.  I took out my phone, ready to give him my unsolicited advice.  I was ready to tell him the folly of his ways.  Wisdom, however, said leave him.  That was hard.

This week I did send him a text.  I call it a breath check.  His answer was unexpected.  His answer broke my heart. 

Mom: “Hi Ror”

Son: “Hi Mom”

Mom: “How are you?”

Son: “Starving, and you?”

Mom: “No food?”

Son: “No.”

 

When I read that, I felt terrible.  I felt like I should have been giving him a top up in his account; I should have taught him the value of a dollar; I should have taught him how to shop for grocery; I should have taught him how to cook; I should have given him better tools for today.  I hurt for him, because I knew that he was not equipped.  I did not equip him for the today that I thought would be much later on – tomorrow maybe.  I wrestled with whether or not it was right to rescue him.  He did not budget and so it led to him being in this predicament.  How was I to help him while still allowing him to face the consequences of his choices?  I eventually decided that I was not going to let him starve today, tomorrow however was up to him.  I gave him a small amount along with some advice that I felt I now had the right to give. 

A friend asked me how I was coping with him being gone. In response I would say only this: “I am learning.”   I am learning, as much as he is, to trust the things I did teach him and to wait for him to come to me for assistance in the things that I didn’t.  I am learning to pray more for him.  I am learning to trust God’s plans for him.  I am learning to surrender him to a Father who loves him from before I knew him.  I am learning that it is definitely true when the bible says faith believes in what you don’t see.  I am learning….

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about what we cannot see. Hebrews 11:1 (NLT)

 

 

 

Choose what is better and it will not be taken away

I walked into my house tonight and immediately I knew I needed to retreat.  The air was heavy with the sounds of tired people that kept going.  My mom was cleaning the kitchen and every move she made was punctuated with a loud hiss of her teeth.  My sister, I suppose in an attempt to help, was banging cleaning supplies around in the bathroom.  I took one look at them, and did what my mind screamed - RETREAT! 

Prior to entering, I was also stewing in my own misery.  I started complaining about my day from last night.  My younger sister called me at 10:30pm to ask me to take her to her physiotherapy session.  In my mind I complained that she didn't give me enough notice; I had a hundred things to do at work; and I hate driving her SUV.  I complained about the project at work I was working on which just made me feel guilty.  God had graciously given me this project as an answer to a prayer for something to do at work. I prayed the night, and the next morning my boss came over and asked me to assist my co-worker.  I was not only miserable but ungrateful. 

I am smiling to myself as I type this because I really was being a brat to myself all day.  I knew exactly what was missing - my retreat time with my wonderful Father.  I needed some time at His feet to set me straight. I needed the Mary seat after being Martha all day long.  If I have lost you, let me catch you up on two sisters who were good friends of Jesus.  Luke wrote:

Luke 10:38-42

New International Version (NIV)

At the Home of Martha and Mary

³⁸ As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. ³⁹ She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. ⁴⁰ But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
⁴¹ “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, ⁴² but few things are needed—or indeed only one.^[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Source: http://www.biblegateway.com

Have you been a little distracted with the tasks you have before you?  Is your calendar full and your days rolling all together as one?  Have you found yourself miserable and just bad company?  Today, there were times I didn't want to be around myself, but thank God for the retreat God invited me to attend.  I didn't leave my house, the sanctuary was  right in my room with some good praise and worship music!  He says to you as well, "Come, have a seat. Listen to what I am saying to you.  Don't be worried or upset.  Choose what is better and it will not be taken away from you."



 

Marathon of Endurance

On October 16, 2013, Logan Ethan Brown made his appearance to the world.  It was the first time those of us outside of his mommy’s womb would see him.  In the days leading up to his scheduled delivery, his mom and I had many conversations.  We spoke about her fears, his name, and his personality.  What we never imagined was what actually happened.

L. Ethan was born with what is medically known as an Imperforate Anus.  If you were like me, right about now you are going what?!  According to Medline Plus,

“Imperforate anus is a defect that is present from birth (congenital) in which the opening to the anus is missing or blocked. The anus is the opening to the rectum through which stools leave the body”. http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001147.htm

Upon hearing we were all shocked, frightened, scared and maybe even a little or a lot angry at this discovery. His mom said through tears “I can’t believe this is my life”.  I know we have shed many tears for little Ethan even as we entrusted him to God.

In times such as this I feel more grateful for things we often take for granted; things like an anus and even the very importance of its function.  I am grateful for a healthy baby.  I am grateful for grace that is undeserved.

 

Ethan has been in the hospital for a little over a week and while they found other concerns, he is really a perfect little boy. 

I have been encouraged, knowing that the God who formed him in his mom’s womb, is able to finish that process.  He knew him and had set eyes on him before he was even a thought.  He formed him in His image of perfection. He is a faithful God, who makes no mistakes.  I am encouraged because this trial causes us to look beyond our own abilities and confidence, to a God who created the Heavens and Earth.  I am encouraged, because we bend our knees to God and His glory is seen.

A friend’s husband told his wife, “We are in a marathon of endurance, not a sprint.”  I believe this can be applied to all of us.  You may have other challenges, and it is not something that comes and goes quickly.  It may be that the challenges seem back to back, creating a long stretch for you. It is a marathon - long and hard.  Endure.  Trust.  Pray.  The race is not for the swift but for those who will endure to the end.  My friend, God has already given us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ!

 

Thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Cor. 15:57

 

Give the Flowers While I am Alive

We celebrated my Mom's birthday this weekend.  It has become something of a tradition for us to "bless" people with our words of love and kindness on their birthdays in my family. As a matter of fact, my Mom was the one who asked us "where is my blessing?" after every plan we had for her to go out to dinner fell apart. However, she wanted to be blessed more than to eat Chicken Alfredo at Red Lobster.

I am so glad we did it. Late at night my family came together over vanilla cake to tell this woman of 64years how much we loved her.  We told her how much we appreciated all she did and does for us, her son and daughters and grand-kids and great grand kids.  We encouraged her to pursue her dreams, whatever they might be, and affirmed her.  It was a moment of tears, not from sadness, but love and joy.

The intimacy of the evening was perfect for her.  She said to us this was just what I wanted.  This was better than dinner.  This was better than any gift we gave her. This was her blessing...her flowers that will never fade or die. 

Roses in Vase (Taken from Google image)

I believe I have said this before, but it is worth repeating. Don't wait until the grave to say the words you want to say. Don't wait for sickness to come around.  Who can receive love from the finality of a coffin? Who can give love from the coldness of death?  No-one.  Not you. Not me.  So I urge you, don't wait. Give your child the words of wisdom now.  Hug your spouse as often as you can. Laugh with your children even if the house is a mess. Sit and eat and be with the ones you love. Let them know it and don't wait to say   "I love you".  My friends, give them the "flowers" today.

For God So Loved The World...

Saturday a friend of mine said this to me “I have never seen a black girl love a white man as much as you do. Black men must have hurt you really badly. What happened?”  I responded as such, “I love black men. My son is a black man.  I do not have a racial preference either way.”

He remained unconvinced and I didn’t feel the need to proof what I knew in my heart to be true.  It’s like my 12y/o nephew and I were talking en route to church the day before.  He said to me “My mom would have a problem if I dated a white girl. But I try to tell her that I don’t see colour.”

Today in our society, it would look like we have progressed and moved past the racial “thing”, but in every home I believe the ugliness of racial prejudices still exists.  It hides itself behind smiles and politeness, but it has not been erased from our society.  In fact I believe that we have to remind ourselves that Jesus loves us all so we don’t fall into the trap of racial discrimination.

I told my nephew that he should consider how Jesus loved.  Did he love all, die for all, rose for all, and will come again for all?  Did he not send preachers to the Gentiles as well as the Chosen Jews?  Does the bible say For God so loved the whites, or the blacks, or the Asians, or the Africans, or did it say the world?

John 3:16 New International Version (NIV)

¹⁶ For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

 

I see colour.  I see the differences between me and someone of a different skin colour, cultural background, accent and even morals. I see it because I am not blind (although at times I wish I were in this respect).  I see these differences that set each of us apart, and yet amazingly bring us all together.  It is like looking at the colours on one tree in the fall season. That tree has greens, reds, oranges, browns, yellows, blacks and maybe even some white spots.  The multiplication of colours is what makes it beautiful to me. 

Fall (taken from internet)

 

 I imagine that this is what God intended when He made us all different. Perhaps when he looks down upon us, he sees the beauty of our differences just as I see the beauty in that tree.  I hope you are reminded of the wonderful, unfailing, all inclusive love of our Heavenly Father as you enjoy the fall season.

United (taken from internet)

 

 

Remember remember...so your Faith may grow

My son turns 19 years old today. I called him at 2am this morning to wish him a happy birthday and to tell him again that I love him. After we hung up, I closed my eyes and prayed for him. 

God and I have parented RKR all these years. It was just appropriate to share this moment with Him – His Heavenly Father.  Even now, as I think on all the “yesterdays” we have passed through my heart is overwhelmed with gratitude.  God has been good to us, His mercy has been plentiful and His grace so undeserving.  I can trust my son to His care; He has proven Himself faithful to us.  Many are the provisions of my God, exceeding all my needs with a limitless supply.

As I write and remember these things, my faith grows.  I feel encouraged and confident in the absolute care of God.  I am not doing something new, David did the same thing.  We only need to read through the Psalms to see the evidence. He remembered the God of yesterday, and was encouraged that He is still the same God of his today.  He reminded himself of God’s faithfulness and mighty acts and was able to stand in the face of his enemies, heart break and many trials. 

 

May I encourage you to do the same?  Might I nudge you to sit and reflect on the works of God in your life, your child’s life, family, friend or foe’s life?  Will you remember the past so that you may walk in the present with confidence?  David did it.  I did it. Now You do it.  Water your faith, and watch it grow.

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly....

Today we celebrated my nephew's (2nd cousin really) birthday.  He turned 12 y/o today. He is as smart as a whip.  I have had the pleasure of watching him grow into a young man who is finally comfortable within himself (or getting much closer).  I was there when he gave his life to Jesus and have since seen him blossom.  I have spent years telling him about his beautiful mind - one of many gifts from God above.

We came together as a family to bless him with our words.  I am not sure when we started doing this, but it is now something of a tradition for us.  No-one will be able to say they did not hear the words I love you from at least one person in our family unit.  God has been doing wonders in us all.

But my purpose for today's entry was to talk about Psalm 1.  Today I was telling my cousin about her son who is away.  I was giving him advise about alcohol, don't drink.  She told him drink but don't get drunk.  While we disagreed about this, what came to mind was what the psalmist wrote about the counsel of the ungodly.  He says, don't walk in it.

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stand in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful;
 
But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night.
 
Psalm1:1-2 (NKJV)

I thought about the verse for a long time after reading it.  I guess it was because he listed three different positions or activity: don't walk in their counsel, don't stand in their path and don't sit in their seat.  We do this everyday and so it was something I could visualize.  Walk. Stand. Sit.  I found that interesting as I imagined myself in each stage and what it meant in my world.  Don't move ahead in their advise as walking suggests; don't stay still in their way as standing implies; nor should I relax in their seat by sitting down. 

So today as my cousin gave me a long suffering look and rolled her eyes at me once again. I realized that we would never agree.  She thinks I am unrealistic and too uptight.  After all, drinking once or twice a month never hurt anyone.  I told her the drunkard man started off with one drink.  I am not here to discuss whether or not it is biblical to drink.  However, I will not walk, stand or sit in what she has deemed to be the right thing to do.  Of course, it opposes the views of the world and appears to them as foolish and old fashioned.  Yet, I will meditate upon the law of the Lord. My delight is in Him and His every word.   

He Knows Me

If you had to write down 3 things you habitually do daily what would it be?  What is that something (s) that you do on auto pilot?  In my devotion time, the activity was to write down 3 habits.  Can I tell you that I could not find any off the top of my head?  I tried for over two hours to come up with a list of habits and could only find one – I drink tea at work in the mornings.  That was me scraping the bottom for something that seemed rather insignificant.

I have concluded one thing out of this exercise – I don’t know myself very well. I have been stumped through most of the activities in this devotional book, designed for me to look at moi (myself) and God's ultimate best.  However, almost every one of them has remained incomplete because I had no responses.  I didn’t know enough about me to effectively complete the exercises. 

I know, what I am saying makes no sense.  How can I not know my own self?  Data and Spok (Star trek) would say this is illogical.  I should know me, as I have been in my own company for the last 39 years and counting. So why is it that not even my own habits are coming to mind?  Why do I not know what I want to do?  Why am I puzzled the most about me?

I don’t know the answers to those questions.  However, I suspect that you may also find it hard to pin point certain things about yourself as well. It might have been easier to see someone else’s habits or ways but not your own. I am convinced that this deficiency in self-knowledge is not limited to me but inclusive of you and so many others. 

So I turned instead to someone who knows me like no other.  I wrote to Him earnestly this morning:

O Lord, I give my life to you.  I trust in you oh God.  Lord lead me by your truth and teach me your way.  Show me the right path to take and teach me your ways.  All day long I put my hope in you. (Based on Psalm 25).

It is not about whether I will ever fully know all about me, but it is enough to know that He knows me. It is enough to know that he will lead me and teach me and point out for me the right path to take. It is enough to know that when I can’t trust myself, that I can trust in Him and hope in Him all day long. It is enough to know that I am in Him, and He knows me.

 

Devotional Book: Becoming the Woman I Want to Be: A 90-Day Journey to Renewing Spirit, Soul & Body Paperback by Donna Partow

 

Thank You

I celebrated another birthday on September 14th.  I turned 39 years old and at times I feel all those years in my body.  Still I woke up feeling one thing only - thankful.  I was thankful for the life God had allowed me to live. I was thankful for the mistakes that taught me great lessons.  I was thankful for the laughs I have been given. I was thankful for my son, my family and my friends. I was thankful for the people that caused me pain, and through whom God taught me how to love and forgive just as He does for me.  I was thankful in more ways than I can put on paper, or type in this blog. 

You see, I have known so many others that are not here today. I know of those that would have been 39, just like me, but because of illness they are no longer on this side. They no longer live and breathe and move.  I know those that are younger, that are also no longer with us.  I know those that are older that have led full lives and have been laid to rest.  Yet, I am here and I am thankful.


I was able to wake up in my right mind. I was able to get out of bed with my own God given strength.  I was able to feel the sunshine and appreciate it's glorious beauty.  I was alive and well.  Thanks be to God who has blessed me so richly.

While you may have been quick to disregard my thanksgiving recitation, I hope you felt inspired to count your blessings. I hope you have quickly realized how much good you have it, in the midst of life's challenges and pain. I hope you have felt inspired to lift your eyes up to your Creator and to breathe out in prayer "Thank you".